点评:开头结尾点题简练恰当;中间排比句式紧凑有力,而且角度不同,层次分明,对中心的表达更有力;美中不足的是缺少对现实的联系和反面事例,否则论述会更有力。(指导老师:王俊乔)生活中,我们做人要抬头挺胸。因为仰望,让人感觉有自信,仰望能使头颅变得很有份量,仰望使眼睛长上翅膀。仰望,使我们学会欣赏他人。苍鹰是天空的主宰,天空上有了它,会变动更绚丽。但我们仰望才 Comments: Beginning of the concluding point questions concise and appropriate; the middle row is compact and powerful, and the angle is different, structured, more powerful expression of the center; the fly in the ointment is the lack of connection and negative examples of reality, otherwise the discussion will be more powerful. (Instructor: Wang Junqiao) In life, we have to be upright. Because looking up, people feel confident, looking up can make the head a lot of weight, looking to make the eyes grow wings. Look up, so that we learn to appreciate others. Goshawk is the sky dominate the sky with it, will change even more brilliant. But we look up to it