我们都一样

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  All Men Are Created Equal
  编者按:《相助》是生长于美国密西西比州的凯瑟琳·斯托科特 (Kathryn Stockett) 的第一部小说。故事主要写的是一个有作家梦的白人小姐Eugenia “Skeeter” Phelan 和两个黑人女佣艾碧莲 (Aibileen Clark) 与明尼 (Minny Jackson) 为实现梦想、改变生活,敢于冒险开始她们的变革之路的故事。1962年的密西西比仍然奉行种族隔离政策,读这本书,我们能在不同的国度、不同的历史下得到一样的感受:友善无界线,相助无界线。人们要在相助中相知,在相知中相互理解、相互关爱,这样人与人之间的界线才会慢慢消除。
  
  
  Sometimes we keep our heads down too much that we forget what it is like to look up. 有时候,我们把头埋得太低,竟都忘了抬头能看到怎样一番景象。
  
  
  Trust the feeling more than the words. 更多的相信自己的感觉,而非别人的言语。
  
  小说原名《The help》,如果直译的话,应该取“帮佣”之意,但它又是故事中Skeeter和女佣们一起出的那本书的名字。作者希望两个种族共同努力,最终实现平等,“我们只是不同的两个人,我们之间并不存在难以逾越的隔阂。”
  选文叙述的是Skeeter大学毕业后回到家,发现照顾她长大的黑人女佣康斯坦丁 (Constantine Bates) 已被辞退,她在怀念康斯坦丁的过程中,更加坚定了完成《The help》的决心。
  
  The Help (Excerpt)
  
  [1] A little farther on, wed get to Constantines house. It had three rooms and no rugs and Id look at the single photograph she had, of a white girl she told me she looked after for twenty years over in Port Gibson. I was pretty
  
  相助(节选)
  [1] 再往前走点,就到康斯坦丁的房子了。共有三间房间,没铺地毯。我看到一张小相片,上面是个白人小女孩,康斯坦丁告诉我那是她在吉布森码头带养过20年的小孩。我很肯定自己已经把康斯坦丁的情况摸得一清二楚:她父母双
  sure I knew everything about Constantine—she had one sister and grew up on a sharecropping farm in Corinth, Mississippi. Both her parents were dead. She didnt eat pork as a rule and wore a size sixteen dress and a size ten ladies shoe. But I used to stare at the toothy smile of that child in the picture, a little jealous, wondering why she didnt have a picture of me up too.
  Sometimes two girls from next door would come over to play with me, named Mary Nell and Mary Roan. They were so black I couldnt tell them apart and called them both just Mary.
  “Be nice to the little colored girls when youre down there,” Mother said to me one time and I remember looking at her funny, saying, “Why wouldnt I be?” But Mother never explained.
  [2] After an hour or so, Daddy would pull up, get out, hand Constantine a dollar. Not once did Constantine invite him inside. Even back then, I understood we were on Constantines turf and she didnt have to be nice to anybody at her own house. Afterward, Daddy would let me go in the colored store for a cold drink and sucking candy.
  “Dont tell your mama I gave Constantine a little extra, now.”
  “Okay, Daddy,” Id say. Thats about the only secret my daddy and I have ever shared.
  [3] The first time I was ever called ugly, I was thirteen. It was a rich friend of my brother Carltons, over to shoot guns in the field.
  “Why you crying, girl?” Constantine asked me in the kitchen.
  I told her what the boy had called me, tears streaming down my face.
  “Well? Is you?”
  I blinked, paused my crying. “Is I what?”
  亡,有个姐姐,自小在密西西比州科林斯的佃农家长大,不吃猪肉,穿16码的衣服和10码的女鞋。我看着相片上这个笑吟吟的小女孩,心里酸溜溜的,纳闷康斯坦丁怎么也不摆上一张我的相片。
  
  
  
  有时候,隔壁的两个小姑娘会过来和我玩耍,她们一个叫玛丽尼尔,一个叫玛丽朗。她们都长得那么黑,我根本辨不清谁是谁,干脆管她们两个都叫玛丽。
  “你在那儿要对黑人小朋友客客气气的。”妈妈嘱咐我。我奇怪地看着她:“难道我不会吗?”可妈妈从没向我解释过。
  
  
  [2] 大约一个小时后,爸爸会过来,他把车停靠上,下了车,递给康斯坦丁一块钱。康斯坦丁一次也没邀请他进屋过,那会儿我就明白,我们现在是在康斯坦丁的地盘上,她没必要跟谁客气。之后,爸爸会允许我进黑人商店要上一杯冷饮和咂咂糖。
  
  
  “别告诉你妈我给康斯坦丁外快。”
  
  “好的,爸爸。”那差不多是我和爸爸之间惟一的秘密。
  [3] 我第一次被人叫做丑丫头是在我13岁那年,那是我哥哥卡顿的一个朋友,一个阔少,他来我们家的棉花地打仗玩。
  “乖孩子,做啥哭鼻子?”康斯坦丁在厨房里问我。
  我把那个混蛋的话告诉了她,泣不成声。
  
  “是吗?你是不是?”
  我眨着眼,止住哭,“我是什么?”
  
  
  
  “Now you look a here, Eugenia” — because Constantine was the only one whod occasionally follow Mamas rule. “Ugly live up on the inside. Ugly be a hurtful, mean person. Is you one a them peoples?”
  
  
  If you want something bad, you have to fight for it! 你若很渴望得到某样东西,就必须为之放手一搏。
  
  
  Youve got to put the past behind you before you can move on. 在重新开始之前,还是先把过去放下吧。
  
  “I dont know. I dont think so,” I sobbed.
  [4] Constantine sat down next to me, at the kitchen table. I heard the cracking of her swollen joints. She pressed her thumb hard in the palm of my hand, something we both knew meant Listen. Listen to me.
  “Ever morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision.” Constantine was so close, I could see the blackness of her gums. “You gone have to ask yourself, Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today? ”
  She kept her thumb pressed hard in my hand. I nodded that I understood. I was just smart enough to realize she meant white people. And even though I still felt miserable, and knew that I was, most likely, ugly, it was the first time she ever talked to me like I was something besides my mothers white child. All my life Id been told what to believe about politics, coloreds, being a girl. But with Constantines thumb pressed in my hand, I realized I actually had a choice in what I could believe.
  [5] Constantine came to work in our house at six in the morning, and at harvest time, she came at five. That way she could fix Daddy his biscuits and gravy before he headed to the field. I woke up nearly every day to her standing in the kitchen, Preacher Green playing on the radio that sat on the kitchen table. The minute she saw me, she smiled. “Good morning, beautiful girl!” Id sit at the kitchen table and tell her what Id dreamed. She claimed dreams told the future.
  “听我说,尤金娜,”康斯坦丁是惟一有时会遵照妈妈的心愿称呼我大名的人,“丑是长在人心里面的,丑丫头是个伤害别人自私自利的小姑娘,你是不是?”
  
  “我不知道,我觉得不是。”我哽咽着。
  [4] 康斯坦丁在餐桌旁挨着我坐下,我听到她肿胀的关节嘎嘣作响,她把大拇指按在我的手心上,这个动作是我们俩之间的小暗号,意味着听着,仔细听我说。
  
  “每天早上你都得思考这么个问题,直到你躺进棺材,”康斯坦丁凑近我面前,我都能瞅见她黑黑的牙龈,“你问自己,我今天该不该相信那些蠢人跟我讲的话?”
  
  
  她的大拇指仍牢牢地摁在我的手掌上,我点点头表示懂了,隐约地意识到她指的是白人。虽然我心头仍有些难过,觉得自个儿的确有那么点难看,可这是头一次她没有只把我当成白人家的小孩。以前我对他们说的政治,黑人,怎么做个好女孩的话都深信不疑,可自从康斯坦丁把大拇指摁进了我的手心,我知道我也有权利选择相信什么。
  
  
  
  [5] 康斯坦丁每天早上6点来我家干活,要是碰上忙季,她5点就得来,赶在爸爸下地前为他把软烤小圆饼和搭配的肉汁预备好。我每天一睁开眼就能见到她站在厨房里,一旁的收音机播放着格林牧师的布道。她一见到我就会冲我微笑,“早安,小俏妞。”我在餐桌旁坐下,对她叽叽喳喳起昨晚的梦。她声称梦能够预示未来。
  
  “I was in the attic, looking down at the farm,” Id tell her. “I could see the tops of the trees.”
  “You gone be a brain surgeon! Top a the house mean the head.”
  [6] Mother ate her breakfast early in the dining room, then moved to the relaxing room to do needlepoint or write letters to missionaries in Africa. From her green wing chair, she could see everyone going almost anywhere in the house. It was shocking what she could process about my appearance in the split second it took for me to pass by that door. I used to dash by, feeling like a dartboard, a big red bullseye that Mother pinged darts at.
  “Eugenia, you know there is no chewing gum in this house.”
  “Eugenia, go put alcohol on that blemish.”
  “Eugenia, march upstairs and brush your hair down, what if we have an unexpected visitor?”
  I learned that socks are stealthier transportation
  
  than shoes. I learned to use the back door. I learned to wear hats, cover my face with my hands when I passed by. But mostly, I learned to just stay in the kitchen.
  [7] A summer month could stretch on for years, out on Longleaf. I didnt have friends coming over every day — we lived too far out to have any white neighbors. In town, Hilly and Elizabeth spent all weekend going to and from each others houses, while I was only allowed to spend the night out or have company every other weekend. I grumbled over this plenty. I took Constantine for granted at times, but I think I knew, for the most part, how lucky I was to have her there.
  
  “我待在阁楼里往农场上瞅,”我叙说起来,“我看见成片的树冠。”
  
  “你将来会成为一名脑科大夫!屋子顶楼代表脑子。”
  [6] 妈妈早早用毕早膳便移驾到憩息室,在那儿做点针线活,或者给远赴非洲的传教士写信。她坐定在那把绿色扶把的靠椅上,对屋子里的一切洞若观火,我诧异于她如何能够在我蹿过那道门的千钧一发之际把我逮个正着。我通常以百米冲刺的速度掠过那扇门,可妈妈总能气定神闲,撒出飞镖,不偏不倚正中靶心。
  
  
  
  “尤金娜,你知道不能在这屋子里嚼口香糖。”
  “尤金娜,去拿点酒精把这油渍擦一擦。”
  “尤金娜,上楼把你头发梳整齐,要有人临时登门拜访怎么办?”
  
  我尝试过脱掉鞋单穿袜子把自己偷渡过去,我尝试过从后门走,我尝试过戴上帽子用手挡着脸来过,我最后发现只要待在厨房里比什么都管用。
  
  [7]在长叶农庄,夏季的一个月漫长得像几年。我们住得偏远,周围没有白人邻舍,我也就很少有伙伴来串门。在镇上,西丽和伊丽莎白每个周末都你来我往,在对方家里过夜,好不热闹,我却独守空闺,每隔一个星期才有一个周末可以外出过夜或带人回家。我常为这事怨天怨地,满腹牢骚。我有时把康斯坦丁能来我们家当做天经地义的事,但我也知道,能有她陪着我是多么的幸运。
  注:选文保留了原著对白中的黑人英语。
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