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以上两例,是我在家庭教育与学校教育中的切身体会和真实感受。后来,我针对表扬的问题做了认真的学习与研究。我认识到,表扬不仅仅是对孩子的一种激励,也是一种评价,是让孩子在老师和父母的评价中正确认识和估价自己。表扬的方式用得不恰当,过低,达不到激励的目的,起不到进一步调动积极性的作用;过高则容易使孩子满足现状,降低要求,固步自封,停滞不前。对于年龄较小的孩子,表扬适当高一些,是乐意的。孩子年龄稍大一些,表扬过高了,孩子就会对表扬持无所谓的态度。如果对孩子的优点评价过高,孩子还会以为你的表扬不是真心实意地,弄不好会引起孩子的反感。
The above two cases are my personal experience and true feelings in family education and school education. Later, I did serious study and research on the issues of praise. I realize that recognition is not only an incentive for children, but also an evaluation that allows children to correctly understand and value themselves in the evaluation of teachers and parents. Appreciation is not used properly, too low, failing to achieve the purpose of motivation, failing to further mobilize the enthusiasm of the role; too high is likely to make children meet the status quo, reduce the demand, stand still and stand still. For younger children, it is always a pleasure to pay a high tribute. The child is a bit older, the compliment is too high, and the child will be indifferent to praise. If the evaluation of the child’s merits is too high, the child will think that your compliment is not genuinely good or not, causing the child’s resentment.