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I hardly had any impression of you when I was a little kid. Because you were a driver, you had to get up very early and work deep into night to support our family. You seldom took me to the park or bought me any doll; Most of the time I was taken care of by Mother.
When I was three years old, you changed your job as an electrician at a middle school. From then on, you had more time to stay with me, but it was hard for me to show any love to you. Every time you wanted to embrace me, I just ran away and cried loudly.
When it was time for me to go to primary school, you sent me there and asked me not to be naughty and try to be good. From that day on, you have been strict with me. Every time I didn’t get the first place, you would beat me, just ignoring my feelings. You were satisfied with me only when I got high marks in the tests.
I always thought that you didn’t love me; what you loved was just my score. Every time at table, I just ate quietly while my brother could talk happily with you. Sometimes I even envied him and then I would go to my mother, complaining that why she gave birth to me, because Father just didn’t love me. Every time mother would tell me that Father loves me, but he wasn’t an out-introversive man. He didn’t know how to show his love to you. And then I would just keep silent.
As I was old enough to go to senior high school which was far away from my home, Father had never blamed me or beat me ever since. Once I was doing my homework in my room, suddenly I saw my father in the mirror, standing behind the window, gazing at me fondly. I suddenly had an impulse to cry, but I just pretended that I didn’t see him and went on doing my homework.
Yes, Mother was right. Father just wasn’t good at expressing his love to his little daughter. He was strict with me because he wanted me to set a good example to my brother. I was too young to understand this before.
Now, Father and I still can’t talk freely, but I don’t care. I know Father’s love is just like the sunshine, it warms me every day.
When I was three years old, you changed your job as an electrician at a middle school. From then on, you had more time to stay with me, but it was hard for me to show any love to you. Every time you wanted to embrace me, I just ran away and cried loudly.
When it was time for me to go to primary school, you sent me there and asked me not to be naughty and try to be good. From that day on, you have been strict with me. Every time I didn’t get the first place, you would beat me, just ignoring my feelings. You were satisfied with me only when I got high marks in the tests.
I always thought that you didn’t love me; what you loved was just my score. Every time at table, I just ate quietly while my brother could talk happily with you. Sometimes I even envied him and then I would go to my mother, complaining that why she gave birth to me, because Father just didn’t love me. Every time mother would tell me that Father loves me, but he wasn’t an out-introversive man. He didn’t know how to show his love to you. And then I would just keep silent.
As I was old enough to go to senior high school which was far away from my home, Father had never blamed me or beat me ever since. Once I was doing my homework in my room, suddenly I saw my father in the mirror, standing behind the window, gazing at me fondly. I suddenly had an impulse to cry, but I just pretended that I didn’t see him and went on doing my homework.
Yes, Mother was right. Father just wasn’t good at expressing his love to his little daughter. He was strict with me because he wanted me to set a good example to my brother. I was too young to understand this before.
Now, Father and I still can’t talk freely, but I don’t care. I know Father’s love is just like the sunshine, it warms me every day.