Why don't Chinese Families Say"I Love You "?为什么中国家庭说不出“我爱你”?

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   “I love you” might be one of the most important three-words in the English language. It signs that a romantic relationship is serious, and shows the close relationship of sibling1, parents, or children, it is also a common lyrics2 in pop songs.
   “I love you”或许是英语中最重要的三字句之一。它是人们认真对待一段恋情的标志,同时也能表达兄弟姐妹、父母和孩子间的亲密关系,它也常常出现在流行歌曲的歌词里。
  
   In Mandarin, “I love you” means “我爱你” (Wo ai ni), but the way it’s used in China might be a little different from Western countries, and Chinese media wants to know the reason.
   “I love you” 在普通话里表示“我爱你”(Wo ai ni),但在中国这句话用法有些不同于西方国家,中国媒体也想知道其中的原因。
  
   The Global Times reports two online videos which show that children tell their parents “I love you” and the videos become popular in China. The first video is filmed by an Anhui TV station. It shows many college students telling their parents “I love you”. There are various3 responses from parents. Such as, “Are you drunk?” asked one parent. The second video is shot by a Shanxi TV station. A father even responded— “I am going to a meeting, so cut the crap.”
   《环球时报》报道,两个记录了孩子对父母说“我爱你”的视频,在中国流传甚广。其中一个视频是安徽电视台拍摄的,它拍下了许多大学生对父母说“我爱你”时的片段,父母的反应各式各样。比如,其中有一位家长回答“你喝醉了吗?”另一个视频是山西电视台拍摄的,视频中竟然有一位父亲这样回答——“我要开会,废话少说。”
  
   There are only a few positive responses: “I am so happy you called to say that, it is the happiest thing for me in 2014,” one parent answered.
   积极的回答只是极少数,“我真高兴听到你对我说这句话,这是2014年最让我开心的事。”其中一位家长这样回答。
  
   Why don’t Chinese families use those words? It is widely said that Chinese people is influenced by Confucian teaching, or the thought of 20th Century Communism. “The parents’ responses show that many Chinese are not good at expressing positive4 emotions,” Xia Xueluan, a sociologist from Peking University, told the Global Times. “They are used to teaching children with negative5 language.”
   为什么在中国家庭中人们不习惯说这三个字?人们普遍认为这是受儒家思想或20世纪共产主义思想的影响。“那些父母的回答反映出许多中国人都不善于表达积极情感的事实,”北京大学社会学家夏学銮这样对《环球时报》说道,“他们习惯用消极的语言教育孩子。”
  
   Last year China Daily asked people from some classes if they said ‘I love you’ to their parents, spouses6, and children. “I have never said ‘I love you’ to my family, and I don’t think I will in the future,” one 56-year-old told the paper. “Saying it aloud is embarrassing7 for me.”
   去年《中国日报》在向各阶层人士的采访中询问他们是否对自己的父母、爱人和孩子说过“我爱你”。“我从不对家人说‘我爱你’,我想我以后也不会说。”一个56岁的老先生这样对《中国日报》说,“说这样的话会让我感到难为情。”
  
   Still, that doesn’t mean that love can’t be expressed. In another article, China Daily spoke to Zhao Mengmeng, she is a 31-year-old woman and she said she had never told her father she loved him face-to-face (“I think it a little odd”). Sometimes actions speak louder than words, however — Zhao gave her father, a single parent, a photo album8 full of photographs of them together on almost her every birthdays her in June 2012. The pictures went popular and have been forwarded thousands of times on Weibo.
   但这并不代表中国人无法表达爱。在另一篇文章中,《中国日报》采访了赵萌萌,今年31岁的她说自己从未当面对父亲说过“我爱你”(“我觉得这有点怪怪的”)。然而,有时行动比语言更有说服力——赵萌萌在2012年6月父亲生日当天送了他一本相册,相册里记录的都是每年她生日时父女俩一起的合影。照片火遍整个网络,在微博上被疯狂转发。
  
   “I didn’t sleep the night when I knew it,” her father told China Daily after the story got many people’s attention. “I can now remember some of the comment9 under the pictures.”
   “当我得知这件事后,我彻夜未眠。”在这件事受到很多人的关注后,她的父亲这样对《中国日报》说,“现在我还能记得一些照片下面的评论。”
  
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