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作为写作者,我是地道的学徒。回看自己写过的东西,中短篇十几个,大多是过去两年所写,乏善可陈者多之,差强人意者几个,默然自傲的极少,有几个竟极其陌生,好像是他人所做,混到自己的文档里。长篇写了两个,都不真正长,十万字出头,一个类似于中短篇集锦,当时企望能承接《史记》的传统,勉力写人,现在再看,多少有混乱自恋之处,一个向村上春树致敬,想写个综合性的虚构品,于是矫揉造作处多,如同小儿舞着大刀,颠倒手脚。但是通论这些东西,也有些不太心虚之处,即都是全力为之,无所保留,老实地虚构,笨拙地献出真心,有人谬赞我是个作家,实在汗颜,岂能和莎士比亚、托尔斯泰共用一个称谓?若有人说我是个诚恳的小说人,似乎可以窃自消受,确实是想把这世上的几十年用来弄小说,若是能不急不缓地弄下去,兴许碰巧写出一二,将灵魂送进某个人迹罕至的庙堂中。
As a writer, I am an authentic apprentice. Back to see what they have written, a dozen short stories, mostly written in the past two years, lackluster who, a few desperate, very few pride, there are a few actually extremely strange, it seems to be done by others , Mixed into their own documents. Long wrote two, are not really long, one hundred thousand words in the first, a similar to the short and medium highlights, was hoping to undertake the “historical records” of the tradition, managed to write, and now look, how much there is chaos narcissism, a To Haruki Murakami tribute, want to write a comprehensive fictional, so artificial make office, as children dancing boldly, reversed hands and feet. However, in general these things, but also some less delusional, that is all for the sake of it, without reservation, honestly fictional, clumsy devotion, someone lame praise I am a writer, really ashamed, how can Shakespeare, care Altars share a title? If some people say that I am a sincere novel, seems to be able to steal self-inflicted, really want to use the world for decades to get the novel, if it can not get down slowly, perhaps by chance Write one or two, and send the soul to an inaccessible temple.