Charley goes to the hospital to visit his wife.
“How are you feeling?”he asks, sitting at the bedside, close to Dolly who is smiling at him, her black hair resting against the white pillows.
“I’t fine,”Dolly says quietly. She looks old and tired to Charley; she is deathly pale and has black 1)pouches under her eyes.
“You look tired,”Charley says. “Aren't you sleeping?”
“I was a bit 2)restless last night.”
Dolly does not 3)mention the pain: she doesn't want to worry her husband.
“Any word from Linda?”she asks.
“She phoned again last night. I told her you were fine. I said there was nothing to worry about.”
Linda, their eldest child, teaches in a university. Linda will come home for the holiday in August. Their son Colin and his children live in Australia. Colin hasn't been told that his mother is 4)unwell. Colin't a worrier: it't best he't not upset.
Charley gazes across the hospital 5)ward, bright with pale afternoon sunlight. Other visitors are doing their duties, gathering around the sick, bringing flowers and fruit, offering words of hope and comfort.
“Have you seen the doctor again?”Charley asks his wife.
“Tomorrow maybe.”
“Any idea how long they'll keep you in?”
Dolly turns away and coughs into a 6)tissue, then settles back. She takes Charley't hand again.
“They'll let me know on Monday. They have to do lots more tests. They won't let me home until they know. I't sorry to be such a 7)bother.”
Dolly't small chest 8)heaves under her heavy 9)nightdress. Charley thinks of a frightened bird. He used to call her “Sweet Dolores?long ago when he 10)mocked her 11)sorrowful eyes and the way she took everything too seriously. He can't help wondering if she made herself sick with worry.
Poor Dolly!
“Are you managing all right, darling?”
“Yes.”
Charley is eating out and staying away from the house as much as possible. He't managing all right.
The minutes pass. Charley is watching the visitors and glancing at the small 12)alarm clock beside his wife't bed. He can hear its ticking. And he recalls the 13)annoying ring when it dragged his wife from bed at the 14)crack of dawn, and moments later her breakfast sounds clattering in the kitchen keeping him awake, reminding him that there't a day't work ahead and children to be schooled.
Tic-tic-tic-tic- tic-tic-tic.
The kids are all grown up now. Second grandchild 15)imminent. Time is running out. A grey face in the mirror reminds Charley of middle age. Where't the point of having money if you can't enjoy it? Why can't clocks take their time? What't the hurry?
Ah ?God have mercy! Dolly. How different might it have been without her?
Dolly't eyelids 16)droop. Her mouth opens a 17)fraction. She looks almost dead. Moments pass slowly.
“This must be very boring for you,”she says, without opening her eyes.
“Not at all. It does me good to see you.”
“It't not nice having to visit anybody in hospital. It't so 18)depressing.”
“Don't think that way.”
Dolly settles her head further back against the white pillows. 19)Grimaces for an 20)instant then gives a smile.
“You should leave now, Charley. I think I might sleep for a while.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Charley bounces to his feet.
“I'll come later,”he says.
“Please don't. The wards will be 21)crammed with people on Saturday. Leave it till the morning. Come after three.”
“Is that what you want?”
“It is, darling.”
Dolly opens her eyes, smiles like a child. It't been a long time since Dolly was a child.
“You look tired, darling,”she says. “Aren't you sleeping?”
“I was a bit restless last night.”
“Hry to take things easy.”
Dolly 22)squeezes her husband't hand, presses her ringed finger against his gold wedding ring. Her fingers are light as feathers.
“Off you go, darling,”she says. “Try not to worry.”
Charley bends and kisses Dolly't forehead.
“I'll see you tomorrow,”he says.
Dolly't eyes close. Her fingers 23)slip from his.
Charley walks along a 24)polished 25)corridor and finds the exit. Outside in the 26)car park he locates his car and sits inside. He glances around at the visitors coming and going. Nurses walk past, reminding him of butterflies. Charley reaches for his mobile phone and taps in a number. The call is answered almost immediately.
“Katherine?”he says.
“Where are you? I're been waiting ages for your call.”
“I'm outside the hospital. I're just been in to see her.”
“How is she?”
“She't all right. As well as can be expected, I 27)suppose. Who really knows?”
Charley pulls down the 28)sunshade to protect his eyes from the blinding brightness, then returns his attention to his sister.
“She'll be in for a while longer.”
“I'll see you later?”Katherine asks.
“I expect so.”
“Stay tonight,”she offers. “If you like.”
Charley thinks of his own empty house, the quietness without Dolly and the 29)dreadful silences she left behind.
“I'd like that,”he says.
Charley says
goodbye and puts the phone away. He smiles, probably for the first time that
day. He starts the engine and as he drives away, Charley glances through the 30)rear
view mirror and sees the grey hospital
building 31)receding
like a prison.
God help me, he thinks. God help us all.
查理去医院探望他太太。
“你觉得怎样?”他坐在床边,问道。身旁的多莉微笑地看着他,一头黑发铺在白色的枕头上。
“我很好。”多莉平静地说。在查理看来,她显得苍老无力;脸色如死一般的苍白,眼睛下面垂着黑色的眼袋。
“你好像很累,”查理说。“没有睡觉吗?”
“昨晚我有点睡不着。”
多莉没有提到她的病痛—她不想让丈夫担心。
“琳达有什么消息吗?”她接着问道。
“她昨晚又打了电话过来。我告诉她你没事,不用担心。”
琳达是他们最大的孩子,在一所大学任教。八月她会回家度假。查理和多莉的儿子科林还有他的孩子都住在澳大利亚。他们还没有告诉科林他母亲生病的事。科林是个爱担心的人,所以最好不要把他搅得心烦意乱。
查理凝望着医院病房外面,一切都被午后苍白的阳光照得明晃晃的。其他探病的人都在做着他们该做的事:守在病人身边,送来鲜花和水果,说着满怀希望和令人宽心的话。
“你有没有再看医生?”查理问他妻子。
“可能明天吧。”
“知道他们要让你在这儿待多久吗?”
这时,多莉转过脸去,用纸巾捂着嘴咳嗽,然后又转过头来,重新握住查理的手。
“星期一他们就会告诉我,他们还要做很多项检查。等结果确认了以后他们才会让我回家吧。真抱歉,我添了这么多麻烦。”
多莉小小的胸脯在沉重的睡衣下有节奏地起伏着,让查理联想到一只受惊的小鸟儿。很久以前,每逢他嘲笑她那双满载着忧伤的眼眸和她凡事都过于认真时,总是把她叫做“甜蜜的德洛丽丝”。他不禁想到,说不定是她过分的担忧让自己生病的。
可怜的多莉!
“你那边一切都还顺利吧,亲爱的?”
“嗯。”
这段时间查理都在外头吃饭,尽量不待在家里。他一切都还好。
时间一分一秒地过去。查理看着那些来探病的人,一边不时地瞄着妻子床头的那个小闹钟。他可以听见闹钟走动时发出的滴答声。他想起了以前,那令人恼火的闹钟铃声一大清早就把妻子从床上吵醒,一会儿以后厨房传来准备早餐的嘈杂声也把他给唤醒了,提醒他今天还有一堆事情要做,还要送孩子们去上学。
滴—答—滴—答—滴—答……
现在,孩子们都长大了。他们也将要迎来第二个孙子。逝者如斯,镜子里一张灰白的脸提醒查理自己已届中年。如果赚了钱却不能享受,那么有钱又有什么意义呢?为什么时钟就不能走慢点儿?那么匆匆忙忙地在赶什么呢?
啊—愿上帝垂怜!多莉啊,如果没有了她,一切会怎样的不同呢?
多莉的眼皮垂了下来,嘴巴微微张开。看起来就好像已经死去了一样。时间缓慢地走过。
“这肯定让你觉得很无聊吧。”她闭着眼睛说。
“一点也不。看着你,我觉得好受些。”
“到医院探望人,总归不是什么好受的感觉吧。太阴郁了。”
“别那么想。”
多莉把头往白色枕头上再靠了靠。有那么一瞬间,她的脸因痛苦而扭曲,但很快便换上一盏微笑。
“你该走了,查理。我想睡会儿。”
“真的吗?”
“嗯。”
查理立即站了起来。
“那我迟些再来。”他说道。
“别。星期六病房里挤满了人。早上再说吧,三点以后再过来。”
“你想这样吗?”
“是的,亲爱的。”
多莉睁开了眼睛,露出孩子般的微笑。多莉也曾是个孩子,那已经是很久以前的事了。
“你看起来很累,亲爱的。”她继续说道,“你不去睡吗?”
“昨晚我有点睡不着。”
“让自己放松点儿。”
多莉握了握丈夫的手,她戴着戒指的手指紧贴着他的金质婚戒。她的手指轻得像羽毛一样。
“你走吧,亲爱的,”她说。“不要担心。”
查理弯下身子,吻了吻多莉的额头。
“明天我再来看你。”他说。
多莉的眼睛合上了,她的手从他手中滑落。
查理穿过一条亮堂堂的走廊,找到了出口。接着来到停车场,找到自己的车,坐了进去。他看着周围来来往往的来探病的人;护士从旁边走过,让他联想到蝴蝶。查理伸手去拿手机,敲入一串号码。电话那边的人几乎马上就接了。
“是凯瑟琳吗?”他问道。
“你在哪里?我等你电话等了好久了。”
“我在医院外面,我刚刚去看过她。”
“她还好吗?”
“她还好。我想,与我们能期待的差不多。谁知道呢?”
查理把遮阳罩拉下来,不让刺目的阳光直射着眼睛,然后注意力又回到他的姐姐身上。
“她还得在里面待上一阵子。”
“我们过会儿见个面好吗?” 凯瑟琳问。
“我也这么想。”
“今晚留下来过夜吧,”她接着提议,“如果你愿意的话。”
查理想到自己空空如也的屋子,那儿有的只是一片因为多莉的缺席而带来的安静,和她离开后留下的可怕的沉寂。
“没问题。”他说。
和凯瑟琳道别以后,查理把电话收好。他笑了笑,也许这是他今天第一次展露笑颜。他启动引擎,把车子开走。查理望着后视镜,从镜里,他看到那座灰白的医院楼渐渐地往后退去,就像一座监狱。
愿上帝帮助我,他在心中默念着。愿上帝帮助我们所有人。