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My father had four daughters. To his misfortune, the days of arranged marriages were long gone. He found he had little say over our choice of husbands. One by one, we got married. For the first, he threw a 1)lavish church wedding and reception dinner. His first son-in-law was not wealthy but he was gainfully employed. What more could he ask?
His second son-in-law had known my sister since they were in middle school, and I was still in elementary school. I grew up thinking he was like the brother I never had. My father loved him like a son even though he, like son-in-law number one, was not rich.
Son-in-law number three also didn’t have much money. He and my sister met at the local community college. My father frowned to learn he had a low-paying job, but he was going to school and that provided some hope. But then, they divorced. Her second husband was a 2)bellman.
When it came time for me to marry, my father decided to 3)dole out some wisdom. “Lori, it is just as easy to love a rich man as it is to love a poor man,” he said. I loved when he tried to give us advice. He always used age-old 4)adages. His favorites were from Benjamin Franklin. I regret that in my 5)naïveté, I considered these good talks to be opportunities to 6)spar instead of to learn. But when he brought up loving a rich man, for some reason, it offended me deeply.
“What?” I cried. “How can you say that? I want to marry for love. NOT for money.”
“But why not marry someone you love who has money?”
“Rich men are 7)materialistic,” I 8)scoffed. “They only want 9)arm candy and then they throw their women away when they get old just to get younger arm candy. I’d rather marry a poor man who loves me.”
He gave up.
True to my word, I married for love and not for money. The proof: my husband didn’t have money. And as we 10)slogged along, scraping by with a growing family and a 11)meager salary, I learned why my father put such importance on money. The stress and strain of making a small paycheck stretch to cover the rent, cars, electricity, gas, food, and medical bills was overwhelming. The worries over whether we’d be 12)evicted or if we had the money to wash our clothes at the 13)Laundromat this week made me question if I did the right thing by opting to stay home full-time with the kids instead of going back to work.
I realized, to my 14)chagrin, that I had entered the ranks of the poor. Not that I’d ever been rich. Most of my life, I considered us in the lower middle-class rank Nothing to boast about, but we were mostly content. We had a house of our own, food on the table, cars, clothes, and money for college. But now, as I listened to an apartment neighbor talk about her monthly “Mother’s Day” gift, I realized she was talking about her welfare check. And another young mother tried to “help” me out by connecting me with a friend who could shoplift baby clothes from an 15)upscale department store. For a small 16)cut, she said, I could return my “purchases” for cash. It sickened me. How low had we sunk?
I had a college education but wasn’t using it. I insisted on not missing a minute of our children’s childhood and it came at a price. My husband was working as hard as he could and it wasn’t enough. But somehow we made it.
The kids grew. Today, we look back and see the remarkable values gained by going through those 17)lean years. My children are not materialistic. They never thought they were poor growing up because we always managed to give a little bit of food, money, or clothes to the “poor.” They are not brand conscious nor are they greedy. They were content with the simple things in life that come free: A beach day, a horsy back ride from Daddy, a story and a back scratching from Mommy, pillow-and-blanket tents in the living room.
We had our worries, but we still treasured our very favorite part of the day when we’d 18)snuggle under the covers and talk about our future, the kids, and how much we loved each other…no matter what. Sure our financial troubles caused a lot of fights, but we held onto each other and were thankful that our kisses were free.
As the children grew, so did our income. We began to live a modest but better lifestyle. We moved to a better community with good schools for the kids. And soon, we’ll face a new challenge with wealth. But for richer and for poorer, I vowed, so I think we can manage.
My father went to Heaven years ago. And now he knows I made the right choice. We take the love we gather here on earth, but there’s no money in Heaven. When my husband goes, he’ll be one of the wealthiest men there. And my father will be so proud of him.
我父亲有四个女儿。不幸的是,包办婚姻的年代早已过去。在女儿挑选丈夫的问题上,他发现自己几乎没有任何决定权。我们一个接一个地结婚嫁人了。第一个女儿结婚的时候,他阔绰地为他们举办了一个隆重的教堂婚礼和结婚晚宴。他的大女婿不是很有钱,但是打工的收入还不错。所以他对这个女婿还算满意。
他的二女婿和我姐是在一起念中学的时候认识的,那时候我还是个小学生。从小到大,我觉得他就像自己想要的哥哥一般。父亲对他宠爱有加,把他当儿子一样看待,虽然他跟大女婿一样不是有钱人。
三女婿也不是一个有钱人。他和我姐是在当地的社区大学里认识的。当父亲得知他的工作收入很低的时候很不满意,但是因为他正在上学进修,所以还是有些前途的。但是后来,他们离婚了。她的第二任丈夫是个门童。
当我也到了谈婚论嫁的年龄,父亲决定给我些小建议。“罗莉,爱一个有钱人,其实与爱一个穷人是一样容易的。”他说。我喜欢他用心劝诫我们。他总是喜欢引经据典。他尤其喜欢引用本杰明·富兰克林的名言。我很后悔当时年少无知,没有从这些有益的训话中获得智慧,而是与他辩论争吵。但是当他说到要我去爱有钱人的时候,不知为什么,我深感厌恶。
“什么?”我大喊道,“你怎么可以这么说?我要为爱情结婚,而不是为金钱结婚。”
“但是为什么不嫁一个你既深爱又有钱的男人呢?”
“富人都很现实,”我讽刺地说,“他们只想要些花瓶美女傍身,然后当她们变老后一脚踹开她们,再另外找些年轻的。我宁愿嫁一个真心爱我的穷汉子。”
他不再说什么了。
正如我所言,我为爱而婚,并非为钱而嫁。证据是:我的丈夫没什么钱。我们艰难地过着日子。随着家庭成员的增加,单靠一份微薄的薪水只能满足我们一家的基本日常需要,这时,我才明白为什么父亲那么强调金钱了。薪金微薄,但房租、汽车开销、电费、煤气费、饮食费用到医疗账单,处处都要花销,生活压力大得让人透不过气。我老是担心我们会被房东赶出来,或者这个星期没钱在自助洗衣店里洗一家子的衣服,这些担忧让我怀疑自己待在家里全职照顾孩子是否是一个正确的选择,或许应该找份工作才对。
我意识到我堕入了贫困阶层,这真让人懊恼不已。不是说我之前曾经多么富裕。大多数时候,我认为我们算是中产阶级的下层,没什么值得炫耀的,但我们总的来说已经很满足了。我们有自己的房子和车子,平时衣食无忧,还有钱上大学。但是现在,我听邻居说起她每个月都收到的“母亲节礼物”时,我才明白到她说的是社会救济。还有另外一个年轻的母亲出主意想“帮”我减轻负担,让我联系她一个专门在高档百货商店里偷婴儿衣服的朋友。她说,我可以帮忙拿这些东西去“退货”并要求返还现金,这样就可以从中分一杯羹。这个主意让我很厌恶。我们现在算是堕落到多不堪啊?
我上过大学,但是没有学以致用。我坚持与孩子一起度过他们童年的每一时刻,这也让我付出了代价。我丈夫辛勤工作,然而还是入不敷出。但是无论怎样,我们熬过来了。
孩子们日渐成长。今天,我们回首往昔,懂得了这些穷困日子带给我们的重要意义。我们的孩子都不是金钱至上的人。他们从不认为自己在贫穷中长大,因为我们总是努力捐赠一些食物、金钱或者衣物给那些比我们过得还拮据的人。他们不追求名牌,也不贪婪。一些简单的事情就能让他们心满意足,而这些都是完全免费的:去沙滩玩一天,骑在爸爸的背上玩骑马游戏,听妈妈讲故事并给他们搔背,拿上枕头和毯子在客厅里搭起帐篷“露营”。
我们夫妻俩都有忧虑烦恼,但是我们仍然珍惜在被窝里相拥聊天的时刻,这是一天里我们最喜爱的时光,我们谈论未来和孩子,还说无论发生什么事,我们都依然深爱对方。当然,因为经济问题我们也吵过很多次,但是我们对彼此不离不弃,相吻相拥,庆幸于亲吻也是免费的。
孩子们日渐长大,我们的收入也逐渐增加。我们开始过一种朴素而更美好的生活。我们搬到了更好的社区,那里有好学校让孩子读书。很快,我们将会面临一个新的挑战:如何善用财富。但是我发誓,无论贫穷与富贵,我相信我们都能游刃有余。
我父亲已经去世多年了。现在他知道我的选择是正确的。我们可以带走我们在人间获得的爱,但是天堂里没有金钱。当我丈夫也撒手人寰时,他将会是天堂里最富有的人之一。我父亲一定会为他感到非常骄傲。
His second son-in-law had known my sister since they were in middle school, and I was still in elementary school. I grew up thinking he was like the brother I never had. My father loved him like a son even though he, like son-in-law number one, was not rich.
Son-in-law number three also didn’t have much money. He and my sister met at the local community college. My father frowned to learn he had a low-paying job, but he was going to school and that provided some hope. But then, they divorced. Her second husband was a 2)bellman.
When it came time for me to marry, my father decided to 3)dole out some wisdom. “Lori, it is just as easy to love a rich man as it is to love a poor man,” he said. I loved when he tried to give us advice. He always used age-old 4)adages. His favorites were from Benjamin Franklin. I regret that in my 5)naïveté, I considered these good talks to be opportunities to 6)spar instead of to learn. But when he brought up loving a rich man, for some reason, it offended me deeply.
“What?” I cried. “How can you say that? I want to marry for love. NOT for money.”
“But why not marry someone you love who has money?”
“Rich men are 7)materialistic,” I 8)scoffed. “They only want 9)arm candy and then they throw their women away when they get old just to get younger arm candy. I’d rather marry a poor man who loves me.”
He gave up.
True to my word, I married for love and not for money. The proof: my husband didn’t have money. And as we 10)slogged along, scraping by with a growing family and a 11)meager salary, I learned why my father put such importance on money. The stress and strain of making a small paycheck stretch to cover the rent, cars, electricity, gas, food, and medical bills was overwhelming. The worries over whether we’d be 12)evicted or if we had the money to wash our clothes at the 13)Laundromat this week made me question if I did the right thing by opting to stay home full-time with the kids instead of going back to work.
I realized, to my 14)chagrin, that I had entered the ranks of the poor. Not that I’d ever been rich. Most of my life, I considered us in the lower middle-class rank Nothing to boast about, but we were mostly content. We had a house of our own, food on the table, cars, clothes, and money for college. But now, as I listened to an apartment neighbor talk about her monthly “Mother’s Day” gift, I realized she was talking about her welfare check. And another young mother tried to “help” me out by connecting me with a friend who could shoplift baby clothes from an 15)upscale department store. For a small 16)cut, she said, I could return my “purchases” for cash. It sickened me. How low had we sunk?
I had a college education but wasn’t using it. I insisted on not missing a minute of our children’s childhood and it came at a price. My husband was working as hard as he could and it wasn’t enough. But somehow we made it.
The kids grew. Today, we look back and see the remarkable values gained by going through those 17)lean years. My children are not materialistic. They never thought they were poor growing up because we always managed to give a little bit of food, money, or clothes to the “poor.” They are not brand conscious nor are they greedy. They were content with the simple things in life that come free: A beach day, a horsy back ride from Daddy, a story and a back scratching from Mommy, pillow-and-blanket tents in the living room.
We had our worries, but we still treasured our very favorite part of the day when we’d 18)snuggle under the covers and talk about our future, the kids, and how much we loved each other…no matter what. Sure our financial troubles caused a lot of fights, but we held onto each other and were thankful that our kisses were free.
As the children grew, so did our income. We began to live a modest but better lifestyle. We moved to a better community with good schools for the kids. And soon, we’ll face a new challenge with wealth. But for richer and for poorer, I vowed, so I think we can manage.
My father went to Heaven years ago. And now he knows I made the right choice. We take the love we gather here on earth, but there’s no money in Heaven. When my husband goes, he’ll be one of the wealthiest men there. And my father will be so proud of him.
我父亲有四个女儿。不幸的是,包办婚姻的年代早已过去。在女儿挑选丈夫的问题上,他发现自己几乎没有任何决定权。我们一个接一个地结婚嫁人了。第一个女儿结婚的时候,他阔绰地为他们举办了一个隆重的教堂婚礼和结婚晚宴。他的大女婿不是很有钱,但是打工的收入还不错。所以他对这个女婿还算满意。
他的二女婿和我姐是在一起念中学的时候认识的,那时候我还是个小学生。从小到大,我觉得他就像自己想要的哥哥一般。父亲对他宠爱有加,把他当儿子一样看待,虽然他跟大女婿一样不是有钱人。
三女婿也不是一个有钱人。他和我姐是在当地的社区大学里认识的。当父亲得知他的工作收入很低的时候很不满意,但是因为他正在上学进修,所以还是有些前途的。但是后来,他们离婚了。她的第二任丈夫是个门童。
当我也到了谈婚论嫁的年龄,父亲决定给我些小建议。“罗莉,爱一个有钱人,其实与爱一个穷人是一样容易的。”他说。我喜欢他用心劝诫我们。他总是喜欢引经据典。他尤其喜欢引用本杰明·富兰克林的名言。我很后悔当时年少无知,没有从这些有益的训话中获得智慧,而是与他辩论争吵。但是当他说到要我去爱有钱人的时候,不知为什么,我深感厌恶。
“什么?”我大喊道,“你怎么可以这么说?我要为爱情结婚,而不是为金钱结婚。”
“但是为什么不嫁一个你既深爱又有钱的男人呢?”
“富人都很现实,”我讽刺地说,“他们只想要些花瓶美女傍身,然后当她们变老后一脚踹开她们,再另外找些年轻的。我宁愿嫁一个真心爱我的穷汉子。”
他不再说什么了。
正如我所言,我为爱而婚,并非为钱而嫁。证据是:我的丈夫没什么钱。我们艰难地过着日子。随着家庭成员的增加,单靠一份微薄的薪水只能满足我们一家的基本日常需要,这时,我才明白为什么父亲那么强调金钱了。薪金微薄,但房租、汽车开销、电费、煤气费、饮食费用到医疗账单,处处都要花销,生活压力大得让人透不过气。我老是担心我们会被房东赶出来,或者这个星期没钱在自助洗衣店里洗一家子的衣服,这些担忧让我怀疑自己待在家里全职照顾孩子是否是一个正确的选择,或许应该找份工作才对。
我意识到我堕入了贫困阶层,这真让人懊恼不已。不是说我之前曾经多么富裕。大多数时候,我认为我们算是中产阶级的下层,没什么值得炫耀的,但我们总的来说已经很满足了。我们有自己的房子和车子,平时衣食无忧,还有钱上大学。但是现在,我听邻居说起她每个月都收到的“母亲节礼物”时,我才明白到她说的是社会救济。还有另外一个年轻的母亲出主意想“帮”我减轻负担,让我联系她一个专门在高档百货商店里偷婴儿衣服的朋友。她说,我可以帮忙拿这些东西去“退货”并要求返还现金,这样就可以从中分一杯羹。这个主意让我很厌恶。我们现在算是堕落到多不堪啊?
我上过大学,但是没有学以致用。我坚持与孩子一起度过他们童年的每一时刻,这也让我付出了代价。我丈夫辛勤工作,然而还是入不敷出。但是无论怎样,我们熬过来了。
孩子们日渐成长。今天,我们回首往昔,懂得了这些穷困日子带给我们的重要意义。我们的孩子都不是金钱至上的人。他们从不认为自己在贫穷中长大,因为我们总是努力捐赠一些食物、金钱或者衣物给那些比我们过得还拮据的人。他们不追求名牌,也不贪婪。一些简单的事情就能让他们心满意足,而这些都是完全免费的:去沙滩玩一天,骑在爸爸的背上玩骑马游戏,听妈妈讲故事并给他们搔背,拿上枕头和毯子在客厅里搭起帐篷“露营”。
我们夫妻俩都有忧虑烦恼,但是我们仍然珍惜在被窝里相拥聊天的时刻,这是一天里我们最喜爱的时光,我们谈论未来和孩子,还说无论发生什么事,我们都依然深爱对方。当然,因为经济问题我们也吵过很多次,但是我们对彼此不离不弃,相吻相拥,庆幸于亲吻也是免费的。
孩子们日渐长大,我们的收入也逐渐增加。我们开始过一种朴素而更美好的生活。我们搬到了更好的社区,那里有好学校让孩子读书。很快,我们将会面临一个新的挑战:如何善用财富。但是我发誓,无论贫穷与富贵,我相信我们都能游刃有余。
我父亲已经去世多年了。现在他知道我的选择是正确的。我们可以带走我们在人间获得的爱,但是天堂里没有金钱。当我丈夫也撒手人寰时,他将会是天堂里最富有的人之一。我父亲一定会为他感到非常骄傲。