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导读：本文献给作者的女儿妞妞、作者自己内心受伤的孩子和同样受伤的你。
When my daughter Nina was little， she used to walk around the house， looking for new things， learning about the world and having a great time. Sometimes， we could hear a “bang”， which came from her falling on the floor， and a loud “wa” usually followed. When that happened， my wife or I would walk over and pick her up gently saying， “It must hurt！ When Mommy or Daddy falls down， they feel hurt too！ You can cry to show your feeling.” She would cry for a little while and tell us， “I’m ok now”， then go on playing. Gradually， she would get up by herself when she fell， and only look for comfort from us when it hurt really bad.
We never asked her to be brave or strong. We believe kids are pure， they can grow up well with attention and love. Of course， there are rules， we explain to her why we have those rules instead of telling her to obey them.
By the time she could say a lot of words， she was like a happy bird， calling “Mommy， Daddy， Chair， Sofa， etc.” all the time. When we were out visiting or when guests came to our house， we never forced her to call “Uncle， Aunt， Grandma， etc.”， we knew she would get close to them and give them a nice greeting when she was ready.
After a long time of personal growth， I could see the inner me. He was a depressed and sad boy. I just wanted to hold him and say to him， “Sorry， honey. I’ve always asked you to be successful， not allowed you to fail， made you feel bad. I am sorry！” I can hear him talk to me， “Thank you， honey. You don’t have to blame yourself. Now we both know that we don’t have to be brave or strong. When we fail， when we are sad， we can cry. You are with me， I am with you， we can cry together. And， honey， it’s ok to cry！”
It’s common to fail， and you don’t have to succeed the next try. Doing better than last time is very good. When we fall and fail， we have the courage and strength to get on our feet again. Crying and feeling down about failure are normal.
Vocabulary
gradually adv. 渐渐地
personal growth 自我成长（心理学术语）
inner adj. 内在的
（I admire the success that other people have and also accept the weakness that I have.）
相关链接：本文编译于心理学者阿苏的《孩子，你可以哭泣》。阿苏是心理咨询师，在心理咨询道路上行走16年，以心理咨询为终生事业。原文可通过添加微信公众平台asuxinli阅读。
When my daughter Nina was little， she used to walk around the house， looking for new things， learning about the world and having a great time. Sometimes， we could hear a “bang”， which came from her falling on the floor， and a loud “wa” usually followed. When that happened， my wife or I would walk over and pick her up gently saying， “It must hurt！ When Mommy or Daddy falls down， they feel hurt too！ You can cry to show your feeling.” She would cry for a little while and tell us， “I’m ok now”， then go on playing. Gradually， she would get up by herself when she fell， and only look for comfort from us when it hurt really bad.
We never asked her to be brave or strong. We believe kids are pure， they can grow up well with attention and love. Of course， there are rules， we explain to her why we have those rules instead of telling her to obey them.
By the time she could say a lot of words， she was like a happy bird， calling “Mommy， Daddy， Chair， Sofa， etc.” all the time. When we were out visiting or when guests came to our house， we never forced her to call “Uncle， Aunt， Grandma， etc.”， we knew she would get close to them and give them a nice greeting when she was ready.
After a long time of personal growth， I could see the inner me. He was a depressed and sad boy. I just wanted to hold him and say to him， “Sorry， honey. I’ve always asked you to be successful， not allowed you to fail， made you feel bad. I am sorry！” I can hear him talk to me， “Thank you， honey. You don’t have to blame yourself. Now we both know that we don’t have to be brave or strong. When we fail， when we are sad， we can cry. You are with me， I am with you， we can cry together. And， honey， it’s ok to cry！”
It’s common to fail， and you don’t have to succeed the next try. Doing better than last time is very good. When we fall and fail， we have the courage and strength to get on our feet again. Crying and feeling down about failure are normal.
Vocabulary
gradually adv. 渐渐地
personal growth 自我成长（心理学术语）
inner adj. 内在的
（I admire the success that other people have and also accept the weakness that I have.）
相关链接：本文编译于心理学者阿苏的《孩子，你可以哭泣》。阿苏是心理咨询师，在心理咨询道路上行走16年，以心理咨询为终生事业。原文可通过添加微信公众平台asuxinli阅读。