原文打球未遂记湖北省玉湖中学张帆哈哈!放假了!我的心脏总不争气地跳动着激动的旋律,心儿早已飞向“天堂”般的生活。(“天堂”的生活指的是什么?不如开门见山地点出“打球”要明了一些。)天空正飞舞着雪花,地面已铺上了一层绒毛地毯,冰冷弥漫在整个小区。(这处写景与文章内容不协调,可删去。) The original text of the game attempted to remember Hubei Yuhu Middle School Zhang Fan haha! Holiday! My heart always excitedly beat the excited melody, heart child has long been flying to “paradise” -like life. (“Heaven” refers to the life of what? Better to go out to see the “play ” to be clear.) The sky is flying snowflakes, the ground has been covered with a layer of fluffy carpet, the cold filled the entire community. (This scene and the contents of the scene is not coordinated, can be deleted.)