此文思路清晰,落点明确。从“琴与指”的关系提升到“内因与外因”的关系,再落脚到“努力与机遇”的辩证关系——紧密联系实际问题。但是,在向“努力与机遇”过渡时,写到杨利伟和王羲之,其后的表述不必追求“语言变化”——也应该用“努力”去表述杨利伟,以此取代“艰苦劳动和训练”。 This article is clear-cut and clear. From the relationship between “qin and fingers” to the relationship between “internal and external factors”, we settled into the dialectical relationship between “effort and opportunity” - closely linked with practical issues. However, in the transition to “efforts and opportunities”, Yang Liwei and Wang Xizhi were written. The subsequent expressions do not need to pursue “linguistic changes” - they should also use “efforts” to express Yang Liwei as a substitute for “hard work and training.”