论文部分内容阅读
▲谢宝树
Hi！ My name is Jason. I am thirteen years old. Here is a picture of my family. We are all at home now. Look！ This is my father. He is watching TV in the living room. And this is my mother. She is washing the dishes in the kitchen. Who’s this old woman？ Oh， she’s my grandmother. She is sleeping in her bedroom. What about me？ I’m listening to music and doing my homework in my study. It’s very busy but very happy. What a happy family！
张稳花老师点评：
本文是小作者在刚学完新课标七年级下六单元的现在进行时后所写的一篇小作文。文章通过介绍“我”家的一张照片，灵活地将现在进行时加以使用。虽然所学知识有限，但小作者能巧妙地用上“Here is a picture of my family”这个倒装句，“What about me？”这种特殊疑问句，及“What a happy family！”这个感叹句，使文章不再呆板单一。“It’s very busy but very happy”一句中的“but”用得特别好，但也正是这一句话中的It指代不明，第二个very略显啰嗦。最后两句中均出现了“happy”，有点重复。
Hi！ My name is Jason. I am thirteen years old. Here is a picture of my family. We are all at home now. Look！ This is my father. He is watching TV in the living room. And this is my mother. She is washing the dishes in the kitchen. Who’s this old woman？ Oh， she’s my grandmother. She is sleeping in her bedroom. What about me？ I’m listening to music and doing my homework in my study. I’m very busy but cozy. What a happy family！
Hi！ My name is Jason. I am thirteen years old. Here is a picture of my family. We are all at home now. Look！ This is my father. He is watching TV in the living room. And this is my mother. She is washing the dishes in the kitchen. Who’s this old woman？ Oh， she’s my grandmother. She is sleeping in her bedroom. What about me？ I’m listening to music and doing my homework in my study. It’s very busy but very happy. What a happy family！
张稳花老师点评：
本文是小作者在刚学完新课标七年级下六单元的现在进行时后所写的一篇小作文。文章通过介绍“我”家的一张照片，灵活地将现在进行时加以使用。虽然所学知识有限，但小作者能巧妙地用上“Here is a picture of my family”这个倒装句，“What about me？”这种特殊疑问句，及“What a happy family！”这个感叹句，使文章不再呆板单一。“It’s very busy but very happy”一句中的“but”用得特别好，但也正是这一句话中的It指代不明，第二个very略显啰嗦。最后两句中均出现了“happy”，有点重复。
Hi！ My name is Jason. I am thirteen years old. Here is a picture of my family. We are all at home now. Look！ This is my father. He is watching TV in the living room. And this is my mother. She is washing the dishes in the kitchen. Who’s this old woman？ Oh， she’s my grandmother. She is sleeping in her bedroom. What about me？ I’m listening to music and doing my homework in my study. I’m very busy but cozy. What a happy family！