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陈传光 男 江苏省连云港市罗阳中学高级教师,从事教育工作近二十年。江苏省教育学会会员,连云港市优秀教育园丁,英语专业技能大赛市一等奖,班主任基本功大赛市一等奖;有多篇论文在各主流和核心期刊上发表;指导学生在各类竞赛中取得了优异成绩,多人获得省级奖和地市级奖。
Love Around Us
Love is around us. At home, I feel the love from my parents. At school, I feel the love from my classmates and teachers. Even on the street, I feel love from strangers.
Last Sunday, I went out to buy some novels. It was hot. I felt a bit sick. I stopped calling① my mother. Then I found I can’t② speak. Two little girls came along. They found I was pale, so they called 120. Doctors came and treated me in time. Two hours later, I was fine. Both my parents and I were moved by the girls. For they helped me, though they didn’t know me.
I’ve made up my mind helping③ anyone who needs help, because love means to care.
江蘇省连云港市罗阳中学七(1)班 王芹芹
1. 优点:
本文开头列举了我们身边的各种爱,给文章营造了很好的氛围。在叙述陌生人帮助自己的时候,条理清晰、简明有序。结尾句和前面上下呼应,为全文点睛之笔。整篇文章文字流畅、用词得当,是一篇不错的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①calling改为to call。stop doing sth.意为“停止正在做的事”,stop to do sth.意为“停止正在做的事,去干别的事”。
②can’t改为couldn’t。从句的时态要与主句的时态保持一致。
③helping改为to help。made up one’s mind to do sth.意为“决定做某事”。
3. 评分:
按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25分的评分标准,本文修改前可得23分。
Love Around Us
Love is around us. At home, I feel the love from my parents. At school, I feel the love from my classmates and teachers. Even on the street, I feel love from strangers.
Last Sunday, I went out to buy some novels. It was hot. I felt a bit sick. I stopped calling① my mother. Then I found I can’t② speak. Two little girls came along. They found I was pale, so they called 120. Doctors came and treated me in time. Two hours later, I was fine. Both my parents and I were moved by the girls. For they helped me, though they didn’t know me.
I’ve made up my mind helping③ anyone who needs help, because love means to care.
江蘇省连云港市罗阳中学七(1)班 王芹芹
1. 优点:
本文开头列举了我们身边的各种爱,给文章营造了很好的氛围。在叙述陌生人帮助自己的时候,条理清晰、简明有序。结尾句和前面上下呼应,为全文点睛之笔。整篇文章文字流畅、用词得当,是一篇不错的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①calling改为to call。stop doing sth.意为“停止正在做的事”,stop to do sth.意为“停止正在做的事,去干别的事”。
②can’t改为couldn’t。从句的时态要与主句的时态保持一致。
③helping改为to help。made up one’s mind to do sth.意为“决定做某事”。
3. 评分:
按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25分的评分标准,本文修改前可得23分。