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(A)
教育部组织创编了《第一套全国中小学校园集体舞》,并决定自2007年9月1日起在全国中小学校全面推广。对此,很多师生和社会人士就校园集体舞的推广展开了议论,有的人支持,也有的人反对。假如你是李华,请你向一家英文报社写一封信,表达自己对此事的看法,信的内容包括:
1. 表示赞成。
2. 陈述你的理由。
3. 如何消除反对观点。
注意:
1. 信的开头和结尾部分已经给出,但不计入总词数。
2. 可根据内容要点适当发挥。
3. 词数为120左右。
4. 参考词汇:早恋puppy love; 集体舞the group dance。
Dear Editor,
I am a student of a senior middle school in a city.
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
I hope that we will all enjoy ourselves in the group dance.
Yours sincerely, Li Hua
学生习作:
Dear Editor,
I am a student of a senior middle school in a city. On hearing the news that the group dance will be carried out in primary and high schools. I showed great interest in it.①I think it is of great benefit to put the group dance into practice.
First, students are usually very busy with their studies, few of them can set aside some time to enjoy themselves. The group dance is the very thing②which is needed by today’s students. Second, it is③a fun to dance together. By doing so, we can enjoy a life full of ④varieties. What’s more, the group dance is helpful for students to⑤communicate with others and develop a friendship with others. The more activities we take part in together, the more united we will be.
However, there are some people⑥disagree with the plan. What worries them is that puppy love may come into being in the activity. But in fact, the best way to avoid puppy love is⑦develop a pure friendship between boys and girls. By⑧explaining the parents the advantage of the group dance, we can make the ones who⑨against it⑩to accept it.
So I can’t agree more with the group dance. I hope that we will all enjoy ourselves in the group dance.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
修改说明:①此句移至下段开头更好,可作为第二段主题句,避免显得突兀。②定语从句先行词有very修饰时,关系代词应用that,因此应把which改为that。③④fun, variety在此处均为不可数名词。⑤为使句子更简洁,可合并为to communicate and develop a friendship with others。⑥此处为典型错误,there be 句型中不可再用谓语动词的形式,此句可去掉there are,或在disagree前加who 或改disagree为disagreeing。⑦应用非谓语动词作表语,在develop 前加to。⑧explain 不接双宾语,应用explain sth. to sb. 结构。⑨against 不是动词, 不能单独做谓语,应在前加are。⑩make是使役动词,应接不带to 的不定式,去掉to。
点评:本篇书面表达是议论文,主题贴近学生生活,学生有内容可写。具体表现如下:①作者按题目要求分三部分 —— 表示赞成,陈述理由,如何消除反对观点,使文章结构完整清晰。②过渡性词汇使用得体,使文章更连贯,如:first, second, what’s more, however, in fact 等。③本文使用了较复杂的语法结构和词汇,如:on doing,名词性从句,定语从句,the + 比较级,the + 比较级,I can’t agree more with..., be of + 抽象名词,set aside time 等。
如上面指出的,本文在语言准确性方面还有待提高,平时要多积累一些重要词语的用法和词组搭配,有些错误在仔细检查后是可以避免的,另外,该作文字数大大超过了要求的120词左右,作者应使语言更简练些。
One Possible Version:
Dear Editor,
I am a student of a senior middle school in a city. Thanks to the nationwide launch of the group dance for all the students in primary and secondary schools, we have the chance to dance together.
I think the group dance will do good to students in several ways. First, it can help to build up the student’s health. Second, it can make our life in school livelier and more interesting. Third, it can help students communicate more with each other and ease tense atmosphere in study.
Although some people are afraid that the group dance will lead to puppy love and embarrassment between boys and girls, I think it is a good means of communication and if organized well, it can contribute to the normal and healthy relationship among students.
I hope that we will all enjoy ourselves in the group dance.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
(B)
美国朋友David 和Peter今年春天第一次来中国。期间,他们参观了几个大城市。请你根据下面的流程图,以The Visit in China为题写一篇100词左右的英语短文,介绍一下David 和Peter在此期间的行程。
The Visit in China
①It was the first time for my two American friends David and Peter to set foot in China ②in the spring of this year.
Upon arriving in Beijing, they couldn’t wait to see the Palace Museum, which witnesses the long history of China. On the following day, they went to Nanjing to visit the Nanjing Changjiang Bridge by train. Then they flew to Hangzhou.③As it is known to all, it is famous for the beautiful West Lake. It was no wonder that they completely lost themselves in the beautiful scenery there. ④After which, they took the train to Guangzhou where they ⑤gave a speech of the education in America to the college students. The last city they visited was Shanghai. They got there by sea. David bought about ⑥a dozen of Chinese books while Peter enjoyed visiting and taking photos. Finally, they returned to Beijing by plane ⑦with tired but excited mind.
修改说明:①是错误句式,我们可以说It is (high) time for sb. to do sth.,但It is the first time for sb. to do是错误结构,正确表达是:It is the first time that my two American friends David and Peter had set foot in China. (要注意此句型的时态) 或:My two American friends David and Peter set foot in China for the first time.②此时间状语可简洁表达为this spring。③此处也是典型错误,这是一个非限定性定语从句,关系代词已代替下文做主语,因此it多余,应去掉,或改为主语从句:It is known to all that it is famous for the beautiful West Lake.④句前是句号,不构成非限定性定语从句,应把which改为 that。⑤表达不准确,应改为gave a report on American education to the college students. ⑥dozen用法错误,dozen有数词等修饰时,其后直接加名词,所以应该去掉of。⑦是汉语式表达,可直接用形容词作伴随状语,可改为:Finally, they returned to Beijing by plane, tired but excited.
点评:本篇书面表达是图表说明文,作者能清楚有条理地描述参观几个大城市的流程图。on the following day, then, after, the last city..., finally等词的使用使得全文结构清晰。本文还有一些值得学习和模仿的结构和词汇,如:set foot in, upon doing..., It was no wonder that..., while和几处定语从句。但如上面所指出的,该作者应注意准确使用一些基本句型,不能把某些类似的结构混合使用,若能正确使用便是锦上添花了。
One Possible Version:
The Visit in China
David and Peter came to China for the first time this spring. During their stay in China, they visited several cities and had a good time.
In Beijing, they paid a visit to the Imperial Palace and were impressed by it. The next day they left for Nanjing by train, where they visited the Nanjing Changjiang Bridge. After that they traveled to Hangzhou by air and went sightseeing on the West Lake. They were impressed by the Lake’s beauty. Then they got to Guangzhou by train and gave a report on American education to the college students there. Later they went to Shanghai by ship. David bought over ten books in Chinese while Peter visited many places of interest and took lots of pictures. Then they returned to Beijing by plane.
[作者单位:湖北省广水市第一高级中学]
教育部组织创编了《第一套全国中小学校园集体舞》,并决定自2007年9月1日起在全国中小学校全面推广。对此,很多师生和社会人士就校园集体舞的推广展开了议论,有的人支持,也有的人反对。假如你是李华,请你向一家英文报社写一封信,表达自己对此事的看法,信的内容包括:
1. 表示赞成。
2. 陈述你的理由。
3. 如何消除反对观点。
注意:
1. 信的开头和结尾部分已经给出,但不计入总词数。
2. 可根据内容要点适当发挥。
3. 词数为120左右。
4. 参考词汇:早恋puppy love; 集体舞the group dance。
Dear Editor,
I am a student of a senior middle school in a city.
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
I hope that we will all enjoy ourselves in the group dance.
Yours sincerely, Li Hua
学生习作:
Dear Editor,
I am a student of a senior middle school in a city. On hearing the news that the group dance will be carried out in primary and high schools. I showed great interest in it.①I think it is of great benefit to put the group dance into practice.
First, students are usually very busy with their studies, few of them can set aside some time to enjoy themselves. The group dance is the very thing②which is needed by today’s students. Second, it is③a fun to dance together. By doing so, we can enjoy a life full of ④varieties. What’s more, the group dance is helpful for students to⑤communicate with others and develop a friendship with others. The more activities we take part in together, the more united we will be.
However, there are some people⑥disagree with the plan. What worries them is that puppy love may come into being in the activity. But in fact, the best way to avoid puppy love is⑦develop a pure friendship between boys and girls. By⑧explaining the parents the advantage of the group dance, we can make the ones who⑨against it⑩to accept it.
So I can’t agree more with the group dance. I hope that we will all enjoy ourselves in the group dance.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
修改说明:①此句移至下段开头更好,可作为第二段主题句,避免显得突兀。②定语从句先行词有very修饰时,关系代词应用that,因此应把which改为that。③④fun, variety在此处均为不可数名词。⑤为使句子更简洁,可合并为to communicate and develop a friendship with others。⑥此处为典型错误,there be 句型中不可再用谓语动词的形式,此句可去掉there are,或在disagree前加who 或改disagree为disagreeing。⑦应用非谓语动词作表语,在develop 前加to。⑧explain 不接双宾语,应用explain sth. to sb. 结构。⑨against 不是动词, 不能单独做谓语,应在前加are。⑩make是使役动词,应接不带to 的不定式,去掉to。
点评:本篇书面表达是议论文,主题贴近学生生活,学生有内容可写。具体表现如下:①作者按题目要求分三部分 —— 表示赞成,陈述理由,如何消除反对观点,使文章结构完整清晰。②过渡性词汇使用得体,使文章更连贯,如:first, second, what’s more, however, in fact 等。③本文使用了较复杂的语法结构和词汇,如:on doing,名词性从句,定语从句,the + 比较级,the + 比较级,I can’t agree more with..., be of + 抽象名词,set aside time 等。
如上面指出的,本文在语言准确性方面还有待提高,平时要多积累一些重要词语的用法和词组搭配,有些错误在仔细检查后是可以避免的,另外,该作文字数大大超过了要求的120词左右,作者应使语言更简练些。
One Possible Version:
Dear Editor,
I am a student of a senior middle school in a city. Thanks to the nationwide launch of the group dance for all the students in primary and secondary schools, we have the chance to dance together.
I think the group dance will do good to students in several ways. First, it can help to build up the student’s health. Second, it can make our life in school livelier and more interesting. Third, it can help students communicate more with each other and ease tense atmosphere in study.
Although some people are afraid that the group dance will lead to puppy love and embarrassment between boys and girls, I think it is a good means of communication and if organized well, it can contribute to the normal and healthy relationship among students.
I hope that we will all enjoy ourselves in the group dance.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
(B)
美国朋友David 和Peter今年春天第一次来中国。期间,他们参观了几个大城市。请你根据下面的流程图,以The Visit in China为题写一篇100词左右的英语短文,介绍一下David 和Peter在此期间的行程。
The Visit in China
①It was the first time for my two American friends David and Peter to set foot in China ②in the spring of this year.
Upon arriving in Beijing, they couldn’t wait to see the Palace Museum, which witnesses the long history of China. On the following day, they went to Nanjing to visit the Nanjing Changjiang Bridge by train. Then they flew to Hangzhou.③As it is known to all, it is famous for the beautiful West Lake. It was no wonder that they completely lost themselves in the beautiful scenery there. ④After which, they took the train to Guangzhou where they ⑤gave a speech of the education in America to the college students. The last city they visited was Shanghai. They got there by sea. David bought about ⑥a dozen of Chinese books while Peter enjoyed visiting and taking photos. Finally, they returned to Beijing by plane ⑦with tired but excited mind.
修改说明:①是错误句式,我们可以说It is (high) time for sb. to do sth.,但It is the first time for sb. to do是错误结构,正确表达是:It is the first time that my two American friends David and Peter had set foot in China. (要注意此句型的时态) 或:My two American friends David and Peter set foot in China for the first time.②此时间状语可简洁表达为this spring。③此处也是典型错误,这是一个非限定性定语从句,关系代词已代替下文做主语,因此it多余,应去掉,或改为主语从句:It is known to all that it is famous for the beautiful West Lake.④句前是句号,不构成非限定性定语从句,应把which改为 that。⑤表达不准确,应改为gave a report on American education to the college students. ⑥dozen用法错误,dozen有数词等修饰时,其后直接加名词,所以应该去掉of。⑦是汉语式表达,可直接用形容词作伴随状语,可改为:Finally, they returned to Beijing by plane, tired but excited.
点评:本篇书面表达是图表说明文,作者能清楚有条理地描述参观几个大城市的流程图。on the following day, then, after, the last city..., finally等词的使用使得全文结构清晰。本文还有一些值得学习和模仿的结构和词汇,如:set foot in, upon doing..., It was no wonder that..., while和几处定语从句。但如上面所指出的,该作者应注意准确使用一些基本句型,不能把某些类似的结构混合使用,若能正确使用便是锦上添花了。
One Possible Version:
The Visit in China
David and Peter came to China for the first time this spring. During their stay in China, they visited several cities and had a good time.
In Beijing, they paid a visit to the Imperial Palace and were impressed by it. The next day they left for Nanjing by train, where they visited the Nanjing Changjiang Bridge. After that they traveled to Hangzhou by air and went sightseeing on the West Lake. They were impressed by the Lake’s beauty. Then they got to Guangzhou by train and gave a report on American education to the college students there. Later they went to Shanghai by ship. David bought over ten books in Chinese while Peter visited many places of interest and took lots of pictures. Then they returned to Beijing by plane.
[作者单位:湖北省广水市第一高级中学]