主妇宣言

来源 :疯狂英语·中学版 | 被引量 : 0次 | 上传用户:fongyu061440
下载到本地 , 更方便阅读
声明 : 本文档内容版权归属内容提供方 , 如果您对本文有版权争议 , 可与客服联系进行内容授权或下架
论文部分内容阅读
  看了这篇文章,不禁让人赞叹这位母亲好可爱哦!突然好想说:“妈妈真伟大!”嘻嘻~Rico猜,这位阿姨是B型血的吧?
  
  Okay, that does it注1! I have heard excuses one too many times for being a housewife! Who the heck thinks they are so much better than the woman of the home? Who dares compare themselves in even the smallest fashion to this paragon[模范] of virtue?
  I am NOT a Domestic Engineer[即家庭主妇]; nor am I Queen of the Castle. I am most definitely not diva注2 of the mansion[官邸] or any other ridiculous term which denigrates[贬低] my daily work in my chosen career.
  Yes, I said career. Oh, my gosh, do I see my fellow housewives trying to shrink into the wallpaper at being recognized as career women?
  Ladies, stop fading and step to the forefront[最前面] of this paper room. Hold your heads up, push your chests out, pull your tummies in, dare anyone to confront you!
  Oh, you think since you don’t get paychecks, you can’t be career women? Get over it! The gentleman, who leaves home every day to bring home dough, is bringing it to you! You get that money and with it the responsibility of making it stretch[延伸] until it squeals[尖叫]
  with pain! He works solely to have enough money to pay you to make his life bearable. Not too shabby[卑鄙的], huh?
  You’ve heard the statistics... If you were paid for the jobs you do with an hourly wage, few people could afford to hire you. That makes you special! You have more talents in your little finger than most have in their whole lives.
  You heal the sick, make the lazy walk, feed the multitudes[一大群人] (your kids’ friends), and keep the economy cycling by supporting your local stores. You teach, you preach, you are the disciplinarian[执行纪律者]
  and you are the soother[抚慰者] of hurt feelings. You keep everyone else on schedule and you manage the accounting in your home. You are the ultimate ambassador, keeping all diverse personalities calm and interacting in a logical manner.
  You are a builder, a plumber[水管工人], electrician, seamstress[女裁缝], gardener, party giver extraordi-naire[(后缀)非凡的], backbone of your local PTA注3, nutritionist, and appliance[器具] repair person.
  You are the calming waters poured over your husband after a hard day and a pitcher[水壶] of ice water dashed on his head when he forgets you need quiet time, too.
  You are the finder of funds for college, music and judo classes. You are the finger of fate for the child who dares come up against your power, offering leniency[仁慈] or demanding penance[惩罚].
  You are the reason that stupid cat is still alive at 26 years and the goldfish is now mammoth[巨大的] instead of flushed down the toilet. You are the ball player your dog depends on for exercise.
  You are a major player in the population of the world. If you can’t bear your own children, you reach out to those who have no one else. You help them grow and learn to love.
  Few in the corporate[共同的] world could handle half of your tasks and remain sane[头脑清楚的], especially when they discover they get a pay increase only if their partner gets one and shares it.
  I, for one, am proud to have the CAREER of HOUSEWIFE. I will never think of it as a pastime or lowest of the low position in life. I will, however, dare anyone who doesn’t do this job on a regular basis to try it for a week. Let’s see if you can get even halfway through my lists (yes, that’s plural[复数的]) without running screaming back to your office to crawl[爬] under your desk.
  Come on, ladies, I think it’s time for a well-deserved coffee break, don’t you?
  
  好了,得了!我已经听过太多太多不愿意当一名家庭主妇的理由了。谁敢说自己比呆在家里的女人好上百倍?谁胆敢与这位美德的典范比拼时尚?
  我不是一位家政工程师;也不是城堡里的皇后。我也绝对不是什么豪宅的女主人,更没有其他荒唐的称谓——它们贬低了我所选择的这项职业的日常工作。
  是的,我是说职业。噢,天啊,我是不是看见我亲爱的主妇们在被称为“职业女性”时吓得躲到了墙纸后面?
  女士们,别躲猫猫了,站到这纸房子的最前方吧。抬头,挺胸,收腹,看看谁敢挑战你!
  噢,你认为既然自己没有领到薪水支票,你就不能成为职业女性?别这样!男士们每天出门赚钱,为的就是给你送支票呢!你拿了他的钱,职责就是钱尽其用,用得其所!他独自默默工作,赚取足够的金钱付你工资,让你安顿好他的生活。这也很公平,对吧?
  相信你听说过那些数据……如果按照时薪给你的工作付钱,恐怕没有多少人能雇得起你。这可让你与众不同哦!你的小手所拥有的才能比大部分人一辈子的还要多。
  你治愈病号,让懒虫去散步,喂养群众(你孩子的朋友),还通过支持当地小商店来保持宏观经济运转。你言传身教,循循善诱;你严于律己,抚平伤痛。你确保每一个人都准时作息,也做好家庭财政预算。你是最厉害的大使,确保不同个性的人能温和平顺,和平共处。
  你是建筑工人、水管工人、电工、裁缝、园丁、忒棒的派对组织者、当地家长教师协会的骨干、营养师以及电器维修员。
  你是丈夫辛苦工作一天后冲洗身心的缓缓流水;当他忘记你也需要宁静时,你也是泼往他头上的那一壶冰水。
  你是院校、音乐课和柔道课的资金筹集者。当孩子胆敢违抗你的威严时,你便成了他们的命运之手,给予宽恕或是惩罚。
  你是那只笨猫已经26岁了却还生龙活虎的理由,也是金鱼体型疯长而没被冲进马桶的原因。当家中的狗狗需要锻炼时,你还是它唯一能依靠的投球手。
  你是世界人口的主要成员。即使你无法生儿育女,你也会向那些无依无靠的人伸出援手。她帮助他们成长,教会他们如何爱人。
  在我们这个世界上,几乎没有人能在处理你的一半事务后依然保持头脑清晰,尤其是当他们发现——只有自己的伴侣得到提薪并与自己分享时,他们才能获得提薪。
  作为其中一员,我为自己以家庭主妇为职业而自豪。我永远都不会将它视为一种消遣或是低等职业里最低的职位。我会向任何一个不曾正式担任过这份工作的人发出挑战,让他来试着工作一个星期。看看你能否在尖叫着跑回办公桌子底下前完成我的一半工作吧(是的,活儿多着呢)。
  来吧,女士们,我想是时候好好享受一杯我们应得的咖啡了,不是吗?
  
  注1:形容一个人对某件事非常生气,到了宁可放弃的地步,相当于汉语中的“得了,不干了!”、“我受够了!”。
  注2:指歌剧女主唱,知名女艺人或明星天后,也可指自视很高、要求苛刻的人。
  注3:家长教师协会(Parent-Teacher Association)的缩写。
其他文献
阅读小提示:本文虽涉及较多化学和物理用语,但篇幅短,原理简单,建议先通读全文,理解大意,并把生词进行归类,以便再次阅读时加深记忆。    Fireworks were developed by the ancient Chinese and are the oldest and most basic form of rocket.  Many of our modern day 1)weaponr
期刊
Put your problems on probation[缓刑]   Run your troubles off the track[出轨],   Throw your worries out the window   Get the monkeys off your back[解除……的负担].   Silence all your inner critics   With your con
期刊
圣诞节又到了,编辑部一年一度的圣诞交换礼物派对又将开始咯~各小编们已经在紧锣密鼓地筹备礼物——怎样才能让大家耳目一新、让自己那份大礼惊艳全场呢?(校长啊,您应该设一个最惊艳礼物奖送给准备礼物的小编哦>w<)同学们是否也很希望在圣诞节给父母和朋友送上一份特别的惊喜呢?事实证明,礼物越超乎意料越能抓住别人的心哦!小编在绞尽脑汁之余,不忘给大家带来几个特别的送礼点子,把你特别的爱送给特别的TA吧——BT
期刊
12月1日是世界艾滋病日。艾滋病这个字眼让很多人感到不安。的确,艾滋病是一种严重的疾病,但只要我们正确了解艾滋病的成因和传播途径,就不必闻“艾”色变,也不会歧视艾滋病病毒感染者。  本文主人公山姆今年17岁,一出生就是艾滋病病毒感染者。得知自己患有这个不治之症,他曾经很害怕、绝望,不敢把自己的身体状况告诉朋友,但通过有关组织的帮助和开解,他终于勇敢地面对这种疾病。    I found out a
期刊
还记得上一期“潮玩特区”为大家介绍的有趣储钱罐吗?赶完稿后,小编也立即去买了个豆腐储钱罐存起硬币来,本想着能满心欢喜地“脱光”(脱离“月光族”),不料看到这篇文章不禁开始动摇——炎炎夏日,或许该掏几个硬币出来买冰激凌吃啦~    The message is everywhere.  Man: Money in the bank suddenly seems like a brilliant id
期刊
The tradition of Christmas movies is as old as moviemaking itself. The most beloved family Christmas movies are about showing compassion[同情,怜悯], appreciating your loved ones, helping others, and avoid
期刊
也许是因为2009年11月上映的灾难片《2012》,也可能是因为同年12月召开了全球关注的哥本哈根国际气候大会,小编义无反顾地将这篇已经不“新”的新闻搬了上来,希望同学们时刻提醒自己和身边的人:我们有义务为地球做点事情,而不是对即将被淹没的岛国居民说一声“抱歉”。P.S. 本文长句较多,建议先熟悉文字再听声音。    Data released this week注 by a team of ex
期刊
其实Wendy也是因为最近看了拍得和惊悚片差不多的“寒蝉”真人版电影,才兴之所致地挖出全套动画来补遗——差点儿因为人设太萌不对自己胃口而错过了这么优秀的作品,蹲墙角检讨ing……“寒蝉”继续出第三季OVA,“海猫”也动画化了,对鸣泣系粉丝来说,这个夏天实在是美好啊……    It’s already summer, which means new anime is just around the
期刊
I’m sure by now you’ve all heard the exciting news: Ghostbusters 3 is due out next year. That’s   right, the Ghostbusters franchise[特许权] is back (with the full original cast[演员阵容]), which continues   
期刊
作为2010年上海世博会以及广州亚运的热身活动,系列文章《亚洲电影巡礼》在“娱乐直播室”启动啦!这个电影之旅总共包括中国、韩国、印度以及伊朗四站,让大家尽情体验亚洲各国电影的不同特色和美丽风情。我们在2009年10月号和12月号分别刊登了关于中国、韩国电影的介绍,以下为大家带来  第三站——    听力小提示:由于受访者大多带有明显口音,部分语句的语法不够规范,本文不宜模仿,仅可作为泛听材料使用。
期刊