论文部分内容阅读
考古帮助我们跨越时空和古人对话，帮助我们更好地了解早期人类的生活方式和人类文明的发展进程。请根据右边的图片和下面的表格，以The Gold Sun Bird Artifact为题，写一篇120字左右的短文，介绍2001年出土于四川成都金沙遗址的一张金箔——太阳神鸟金饰。
写作指导
本文属于物品介绍类说明文。对这类写作，首先，我们要明确说明对象，抓住该物品的特征。其次，我们要用恰当的顺序把这件事物的外观、构造、功能、用途等展现在读者的面前；同时，可采用举例子、列数据、 作引用、分类别等不同的说明方法让读者更好的了解该物品。
习作1
The Gold Sun Bird Artifact belongs to the late Shang Dynasty， which was found in the Jinsha site in Chengdu， in the year of 2001.
According to the component analysis， it turns out that the gold content is as high as 94.2%. The gold decoration could be a sacrifice artifact of the ancient shu people and now is exhibited in Jinsha Ruins Museum in Chengdu. As to the shape， the four birds connect with each other， flying in the same direction. Its external diameter is 12.5cm， and thickness is 0.02cm. It weighs 20g. The Gold Sun Bird artifact became a symbol of Chinese cultural heritage in 2005. Also， during the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games， the cultural relic was exhibited in the Capital Museum.
点评 这篇文章详略得当，时态运用准确，将事物的特征、外观基本呈现在了读者面前。
The Gold Sun Bird Artifact is an artifact in the late Shang Period， which was found in the Jinsha site in Chengdu， in the year of 2001. 这句话是一个非限制性定语从句，但如果改成The Gold Sun Bird Artifact， a well known culture relic， was discovered coincidently in 2001 from the Jinsha Ruins in Chengdu City， Sichuan Province， China.可使层次更为分明，表达更为贴切，语言更有节奏感。
The gold decoration could be a sacrifice artifact of the ancient shu people and now is exhibited in Jinsha Ruins Museum in Chengdu.这句话中有could表示对过去事情的推测，也出现了一般现在时，体现了作者对时态较好的把握。
As to the shape， the four birds connect with each other， flying in the same direction. 这句应该改成Referred to the pattern， the artifact shows the four birds connect with each other， flying in the same direction. 这样语言更合乎逻辑。
综观全文，尽管作者基本完成了写作要求，但有些表达不尽如人意。“文似看山不喜平”，而全文以简单句为主，复合句极少，句型也较为单一。
习作2
The Gold Sun Bird Artifact is a piece of gold foil unearthed in 2001， in the Jinsha site in Sichuan， Chengdu， which dates back to the late Shang Dynasty （About 1300 BC to 1046 BC）.
The so-called “four birds around the sun” gives us a very dynamic visual effect. Its external diameter is 12.5cm， thickness is 0.02cm， and weight is 20g. More importantly， after testing we found its gold content is as high as 94.2%. Absolutely， this is a shocking discovery. According to experts’ speculate， the gold foil decoration could be an artifact of ancient Shu people’s sacrifice. In 2005， the Gold Sun Bird Artifact became the symbol of Chinese cultural heritage. During the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008， it was displayed in the Capital Museum， showing the ancient culture of China. All in all， the unearthed Gold Sun Bird Artifact must be a great discovery in archaeology.
点评 该文章全面地介绍了物品的性质、特点、用途、语言简洁、流畅、层次分明、过渡自然，时态选用得当。
The Gold Sun Bird Artifact is a piece of gold foil unearthed in 2001， in the Jinsha site in Sichuan， Chengdu， which dates back to the late Shang Dynasty （About 1300 BC to 1046 BC）.该句中使用了过去分词作后置定语，以及非限制性定语从句，使得文章的开头逻辑性强，层次分明，给人眼前一亮的感觉。文章的最后一句话All in all， the unearthed Gold Sun Bird Artifact must be a great discovery in archaeology. 对该物品的地位作用进行了总结，形成了很好的首尾呼应。
During the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008， it was displayed in the Capital Museum， showing the ancient culture of China. 使用了现在分词作状语，进一步丰富了文章的句型。
文章中in 2001， in 2005， during the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008的使用表现出了清晰的时间顺序。
More importantly， after testing we found its gold content is as high as 94.2%. Absolutely， this is a shocking discovery. 文章中这两句话用非限制性定语从句合并为一句话更好，同时用what’s more代替more importantly，使逻辑关系更为明显，即What’s more， after testing we found its gold content is as high as 94.2%， which is absolutely a shocking discovery。
范文
The Gold Sun Bird Artifact， which dates back to the late Shang Dynasty， was unearthed in 2001 from the Jinsha Site in Chengdu， Sichuan Province.
It is a ring-shaped piece of foil， whose external diameter is 12.5cm， thickness is 0.02cm， and weight is about 20g. Its bright colour and complicated pattern make it stand out， which consists of four gold birds， flying in the same counter-clockwise direction. Once it was unearthed， people were all amazed by this fabulous little thing. What shocked the country and the whole world further was that its gold content is as high as 94.2%.
In 2005， the Golden Sun Bird Artifact was selected to be the symbol of Chinese Cultural Heritage. During the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008， it was displayed in the Capital Museum， showing the great ancient Chinese culture to the people all over the world. The artifact which is said to have been used in the ancient sacrifice rite or worship is now preserved in the well-known Jinsha Site Museum. There is no doubt that the Gold Sun Bird Artifact is a great discovery in archaeology.
写作指导
本文属于物品介绍类说明文。对这类写作，首先，我们要明确说明对象，抓住该物品的特征。其次，我们要用恰当的顺序把这件事物的外观、构造、功能、用途等展现在读者的面前；同时，可采用举例子、列数据、 作引用、分类别等不同的说明方法让读者更好的了解该物品。
习作1
The Gold Sun Bird Artifact belongs to the late Shang Dynasty， which was found in the Jinsha site in Chengdu， in the year of 2001.
According to the component analysis， it turns out that the gold content is as high as 94.2%. The gold decoration could be a sacrifice artifact of the ancient shu people and now is exhibited in Jinsha Ruins Museum in Chengdu. As to the shape， the four birds connect with each other， flying in the same direction. Its external diameter is 12.5cm， and thickness is 0.02cm. It weighs 20g. The Gold Sun Bird artifact became a symbol of Chinese cultural heritage in 2005. Also， during the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games， the cultural relic was exhibited in the Capital Museum.
点评 这篇文章详略得当，时态运用准确，将事物的特征、外观基本呈现在了读者面前。
The Gold Sun Bird Artifact is an artifact in the late Shang Period， which was found in the Jinsha site in Chengdu， in the year of 2001. 这句话是一个非限制性定语从句，但如果改成The Gold Sun Bird Artifact， a well known culture relic， was discovered coincidently in 2001 from the Jinsha Ruins in Chengdu City， Sichuan Province， China.可使层次更为分明，表达更为贴切，语言更有节奏感。
The gold decoration could be a sacrifice artifact of the ancient shu people and now is exhibited in Jinsha Ruins Museum in Chengdu.这句话中有could表示对过去事情的推测，也出现了一般现在时，体现了作者对时态较好的把握。
As to the shape， the four birds connect with each other， flying in the same direction. 这句应该改成Referred to the pattern， the artifact shows the four birds connect with each other， flying in the same direction. 这样语言更合乎逻辑。
综观全文，尽管作者基本完成了写作要求，但有些表达不尽如人意。“文似看山不喜平”，而全文以简单句为主，复合句极少，句型也较为单一。
习作2
The Gold Sun Bird Artifact is a piece of gold foil unearthed in 2001， in the Jinsha site in Sichuan， Chengdu， which dates back to the late Shang Dynasty （About 1300 BC to 1046 BC）.
The so-called “four birds around the sun” gives us a very dynamic visual effect. Its external diameter is 12.5cm， thickness is 0.02cm， and weight is 20g. More importantly， after testing we found its gold content is as high as 94.2%. Absolutely， this is a shocking discovery. According to experts’ speculate， the gold foil decoration could be an artifact of ancient Shu people’s sacrifice. In 2005， the Gold Sun Bird Artifact became the symbol of Chinese cultural heritage. During the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008， it was displayed in the Capital Museum， showing the ancient culture of China. All in all， the unearthed Gold Sun Bird Artifact must be a great discovery in archaeology.
点评 该文章全面地介绍了物品的性质、特点、用途、语言简洁、流畅、层次分明、过渡自然，时态选用得当。
The Gold Sun Bird Artifact is a piece of gold foil unearthed in 2001， in the Jinsha site in Sichuan， Chengdu， which dates back to the late Shang Dynasty （About 1300 BC to 1046 BC）.该句中使用了过去分词作后置定语，以及非限制性定语从句，使得文章的开头逻辑性强，层次分明，给人眼前一亮的感觉。文章的最后一句话All in all， the unearthed Gold Sun Bird Artifact must be a great discovery in archaeology. 对该物品的地位作用进行了总结，形成了很好的首尾呼应。
During the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008， it was displayed in the Capital Museum， showing the ancient culture of China. 使用了现在分词作状语，进一步丰富了文章的句型。
文章中in 2001， in 2005， during the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008的使用表现出了清晰的时间顺序。
More importantly， after testing we found its gold content is as high as 94.2%. Absolutely， this is a shocking discovery. 文章中这两句话用非限制性定语从句合并为一句话更好，同时用what’s more代替more importantly，使逻辑关系更为明显，即What’s more， after testing we found its gold content is as high as 94.2%， which is absolutely a shocking discovery。
范文
The Gold Sun Bird Artifact， which dates back to the late Shang Dynasty， was unearthed in 2001 from the Jinsha Site in Chengdu， Sichuan Province.
It is a ring-shaped piece of foil， whose external diameter is 12.5cm， thickness is 0.02cm， and weight is about 20g. Its bright colour and complicated pattern make it stand out， which consists of four gold birds， flying in the same counter-clockwise direction. Once it was unearthed， people were all amazed by this fabulous little thing. What shocked the country and the whole world further was that its gold content is as high as 94.2%.
In 2005， the Golden Sun Bird Artifact was selected to be the symbol of Chinese Cultural Heritage. During the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008， it was displayed in the Capital Museum， showing the great ancient Chinese culture to the people all over the world. The artifact which is said to have been used in the ancient sacrifice rite or worship is now preserved in the well-known Jinsha Site Museum. There is no doubt that the Gold Sun Bird Artifact is a great discovery in archaeology.