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Wu Minqiang， 70， has devoted a significant part of his life to providing free marriage counseling for couples considering a divorce.
Before Wu retired from his position as an administrative assistant， it was part of his job responsibilities to mediate family disputes. Although most people used to be embarrassed or even ashamed to acknowledge marriage difficulties， it was not difficult for Wu to find those in need of his help.
Until the amended Marriage Law took effect in October 2003， couples seeking a divorce were required to obtain written permission from employers or neighborhood committees to untie the knot and there was a “buffer period”of one month from the acceptance of a divorce application by the government until the issuance of a divorce certificate.
“Back then， couples sought divorces mainly due to fights over money or disagreements over parenting. I used my personal experience to tell them how to divide financial power between the wife and husband or better educate their children，” Wu told newspaper Legal Weekly.
After his retirement， Wu found he missed assisting couples through their difficulties so much that he enrolled in a program to become a certificated marriage counselor. During his voluntary service at the marriage registration office in yuhang District， Hangzhou City in Zhejiang Province， he witnessed a spike in divorce applications.
“Unlike the old days —when I tried my best to persuade my colleagues not to break up—now I mainly advise against making impulsive decisions，” Wu said. “I also educate them on how to minimize possible trauma to their children or themselves after the marriage falls apart.”
divorce boom
The divorce rate in China has been rising rapidly over the past 30 years， shooting up from less than 0.25 per thousand in 1978 to 2.29 per thousand in 2012， based on dividing the number of divorces by the entire population and multiplying the result by 1，000. Using the same calculation method， while the nationwide marriage rate climbed from 8.3 per thousand to 9.8 per thousand between 2008 and 2012， the divorce rate during this period exhibited a much steeper curve by surging from 1.71 per thousand to 2.29 per thousand.
According to official statistics， a total of 13.23 million couples were wed while 3.1 million divorced in China in 2012， representing one marriage falling apart almost every 10 seconds.
The total number of divorces in 2012 was 133 percent more than in 2003， according to Zhang Shifeng， head of the Department of Social Affairs at the Ministry of Civil Affairs. Although national divorce statistics for 2013 have yet to be released， he predicted that they would maintain their upward trajectory. In July 2011， the Ministry of Civil Affairs launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of impulsive divorces by improving the free counseling services available at divorce registration offices.
Discussions on the Internet about the staggering divorce rate have seen some netizens criticize the phenomenon and blame divorcees for not taking their marriage seriously. Others consider it a sign of social progress and an indicator of more freedom and rationality when making choices about marriage.
Many sociologists believe that at the root of the change is a more affluent， open and tolerant society， where people put more emphasis on individuality and freedom of choice. Moreover， society has become more tolerant toward divorces and divorcees.
A report by Xinhua News Agency in November 2013 identified four factors eroding marriage in China： an increase in vulnerable marriages entered into for pragmatic， material goals； a windfall for one party； extramarital affairs； and “technical divorces，” which were filed to avoid paying certain taxes during property trades or to sidestep car purchase restrictions.
After the issuance of a new set of government policies aimed at reining in housing prices in March 2013， couples in many cities flocked to divorce to avoid a new property sales tax， which can amount to tens of thousands of yuan in large cities such as Shanghai and Beijing.
In order to curb speculation， a capital gains tax of 20 percent on profits made from selling residential property was introduced nationwide， with the only exclusion being a family’s only property under certain conditions.
Therefore， many couples with two properties divorce and put each house under each person’s name to avoid the tax when selling the property. After the sale goes through， they often remarry.
According to statistics from Beijing’s Bureau of Civil Affairs， 39，075 couples in the city got divorced during the first three quarters of 2013， representing a staggering growth of 41 percent year on year.
However， Li yinhe， a renowned sociologist and sexologist， said that the impact of “technical divorces” is temporary and regional， so they can be ignored when predicting the long-term trend of China’s divorce rate. “I expect to see an upward curve in China’s divorce rate in the future， which will drop back to a relatively high level after reaching a peak，” she said.
Marital norms
yu Hai， a professor of sociology at Fudan University in Shanghai， said that while higher divorce rates shed light on larger freedom and privacy enjoyed by individuals， the ensuing instability for families， the basic components of society， as well as deformation of popular perceptions about marriage and relationships， are alarming. “Instead of feeling ashamed about cheating on their wives， some rich people boast about keeping mistresses as a symbol of their success. This shows moral degradation and the breakdown of organizational and cultural restraints on marriage，” yu said.
Tan Kejian， Deputy Director of the Institute of Sociology at the Shanxi Academy of Social Sciences， said that various social problems， including marriage issues， tend to emerge in societies where annual per-capita income approaches and reaches $3，000， a stage China has recently passed through.
“When it comes to China， increased migration within the country， a lack of communication between spouses due to the accelerated tempo of life and the low costs of divorce are all factors pushing up the number of couples choosing to separate，” Tan said. He doesn’t worry about moral degradation caused by the apparent “marriage crisis” in China， however， as he believes that love plays an increasingly important role in the success or failure of marriage compared with the past.
Tan’s notion seems to be supported by a survey conducted by magazine Insight China in 2012. According to the survey on marriage and family that involved people from 287 cit- ies across China， among the 70 percent of respondents who were married， 59.4 percent felt “pretty happy，” while another 17.7 percent felt “very happy.” The study also found that almost 80 percent of people in a marriage would choose the same spouse if given a second chance.
Singling out major factors affecting marriage， 61.5 percent of the respondents chose“affection between the husband and wife，”much higher than the 37.2 percent who chose“family income.”
The poll showed that Chinese people generally stay in satisfying marriages and tend to give up a marriage when it causes them distress or unhappiness.
According to Wu， the marriage counselor in Hangzhou， instances of flash marriages and divorces have been increasing among young couples in recent years.
“Many young people are only children in their families， who have stronger personalities and are more self-centered compared to their parents’ generation. They are quicker to lose their tempers，” Wu said. He added that some of them are used to being taken care of by their parents and lack the independence.
Wu personally counseled a couple， in their 20s， both from one-child families， who filed for divorce after getting married for only four days in January. The trigger was a single quarrel over what kind of fruit to eat after dinner.
“I tried to tell couples rushing into a divorce that marriage requires perseverance and it is common to have difficult times in a marriage when they need to work on it to make it work，” Wu said.
Wu’s colleague， Wu Xuanlan， said that the toughest couples to counsel for are those whose parents are deeply involved in their conflicts.
“Older people tend to hold strong opinions about family life and can be stubborn and resist looking at things from the angle of the other party in the marriage. Some parents even forced their children to abandon a marriage，”Wu Xuanlan said.
Before Wu retired from his position as an administrative assistant， it was part of his job responsibilities to mediate family disputes. Although most people used to be embarrassed or even ashamed to acknowledge marriage difficulties， it was not difficult for Wu to find those in need of his help.
Until the amended Marriage Law took effect in October 2003， couples seeking a divorce were required to obtain written permission from employers or neighborhood committees to untie the knot and there was a “buffer period”of one month from the acceptance of a divorce application by the government until the issuance of a divorce certificate.
“Back then， couples sought divorces mainly due to fights over money or disagreements over parenting. I used my personal experience to tell them how to divide financial power between the wife and husband or better educate their children，” Wu told newspaper Legal Weekly.
After his retirement， Wu found he missed assisting couples through their difficulties so much that he enrolled in a program to become a certificated marriage counselor. During his voluntary service at the marriage registration office in yuhang District， Hangzhou City in Zhejiang Province， he witnessed a spike in divorce applications.
“Unlike the old days —when I tried my best to persuade my colleagues not to break up—now I mainly advise against making impulsive decisions，” Wu said. “I also educate them on how to minimize possible trauma to their children or themselves after the marriage falls apart.”
divorce boom
The divorce rate in China has been rising rapidly over the past 30 years， shooting up from less than 0.25 per thousand in 1978 to 2.29 per thousand in 2012， based on dividing the number of divorces by the entire population and multiplying the result by 1，000. Using the same calculation method， while the nationwide marriage rate climbed from 8.3 per thousand to 9.8 per thousand between 2008 and 2012， the divorce rate during this period exhibited a much steeper curve by surging from 1.71 per thousand to 2.29 per thousand.
According to official statistics， a total of 13.23 million couples were wed while 3.1 million divorced in China in 2012， representing one marriage falling apart almost every 10 seconds.
The total number of divorces in 2012 was 133 percent more than in 2003， according to Zhang Shifeng， head of the Department of Social Affairs at the Ministry of Civil Affairs. Although national divorce statistics for 2013 have yet to be released， he predicted that they would maintain their upward trajectory. In July 2011， the Ministry of Civil Affairs launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of impulsive divorces by improving the free counseling services available at divorce registration offices.
Discussions on the Internet about the staggering divorce rate have seen some netizens criticize the phenomenon and blame divorcees for not taking their marriage seriously. Others consider it a sign of social progress and an indicator of more freedom and rationality when making choices about marriage.
Many sociologists believe that at the root of the change is a more affluent， open and tolerant society， where people put more emphasis on individuality and freedom of choice. Moreover， society has become more tolerant toward divorces and divorcees.
A report by Xinhua News Agency in November 2013 identified four factors eroding marriage in China： an increase in vulnerable marriages entered into for pragmatic， material goals； a windfall for one party； extramarital affairs； and “technical divorces，” which were filed to avoid paying certain taxes during property trades or to sidestep car purchase restrictions.
After the issuance of a new set of government policies aimed at reining in housing prices in March 2013， couples in many cities flocked to divorce to avoid a new property sales tax， which can amount to tens of thousands of yuan in large cities such as Shanghai and Beijing.
In order to curb speculation， a capital gains tax of 20 percent on profits made from selling residential property was introduced nationwide， with the only exclusion being a family’s only property under certain conditions.
Therefore， many couples with two properties divorce and put each house under each person’s name to avoid the tax when selling the property. After the sale goes through， they often remarry.
According to statistics from Beijing’s Bureau of Civil Affairs， 39，075 couples in the city got divorced during the first three quarters of 2013， representing a staggering growth of 41 percent year on year.
However， Li yinhe， a renowned sociologist and sexologist， said that the impact of “technical divorces” is temporary and regional， so they can be ignored when predicting the long-term trend of China’s divorce rate. “I expect to see an upward curve in China’s divorce rate in the future， which will drop back to a relatively high level after reaching a peak，” she said.
Marital norms
yu Hai， a professor of sociology at Fudan University in Shanghai， said that while higher divorce rates shed light on larger freedom and privacy enjoyed by individuals， the ensuing instability for families， the basic components of society， as well as deformation of popular perceptions about marriage and relationships， are alarming. “Instead of feeling ashamed about cheating on their wives， some rich people boast about keeping mistresses as a symbol of their success. This shows moral degradation and the breakdown of organizational and cultural restraints on marriage，” yu said.
Tan Kejian， Deputy Director of the Institute of Sociology at the Shanxi Academy of Social Sciences， said that various social problems， including marriage issues， tend to emerge in societies where annual per-capita income approaches and reaches $3，000， a stage China has recently passed through.
“When it comes to China， increased migration within the country， a lack of communication between spouses due to the accelerated tempo of life and the low costs of divorce are all factors pushing up the number of couples choosing to separate，” Tan said. He doesn’t worry about moral degradation caused by the apparent “marriage crisis” in China， however， as he believes that love plays an increasingly important role in the success or failure of marriage compared with the past.
Tan’s notion seems to be supported by a survey conducted by magazine Insight China in 2012. According to the survey on marriage and family that involved people from 287 cit- ies across China， among the 70 percent of respondents who were married， 59.4 percent felt “pretty happy，” while another 17.7 percent felt “very happy.” The study also found that almost 80 percent of people in a marriage would choose the same spouse if given a second chance.
Singling out major factors affecting marriage， 61.5 percent of the respondents chose“affection between the husband and wife，”much higher than the 37.2 percent who chose“family income.”
The poll showed that Chinese people generally stay in satisfying marriages and tend to give up a marriage when it causes them distress or unhappiness.
According to Wu， the marriage counselor in Hangzhou， instances of flash marriages and divorces have been increasing among young couples in recent years.
“Many young people are only children in their families， who have stronger personalities and are more self-centered compared to their parents’ generation. They are quicker to lose their tempers，” Wu said. He added that some of them are used to being taken care of by their parents and lack the independence.
Wu personally counseled a couple， in their 20s， both from one-child families， who filed for divorce after getting married for only four days in January. The trigger was a single quarrel over what kind of fruit to eat after dinner.
“I tried to tell couples rushing into a divorce that marriage requires perseverance and it is common to have difficult times in a marriage when they need to work on it to make it work，” Wu said.
Wu’s colleague， Wu Xuanlan， said that the toughest couples to counsel for are those whose parents are deeply involved in their conflicts.
“Older people tend to hold strong opinions about family life and can be stubborn and resist looking at things from the angle of the other party in the marriage. Some parents even forced their children to abandon a marriage，”Wu Xuanlan said.