My good friend is Yang. Do you know why？ Because she truly cares about me， that’s important to me. Also， she is a good listener. When I have trouble， I always tell her. Then she reaches for my hand and touches my heart. We are similar in these ways： we both have long straight hair. We both like to listen to music. We both like to laugh. I work as hard as her. But we are different， too. For example， she is taller than me， and she is quieter than me. She likes reading but I like sports. I am more outgoing. I think it’s not necessary to be the same as long as they are good. I think my friend is good ，isn’t she？
　　潘慧兰老师点评：
　　本文是作者学完八年级上期第三单元“I’m more outgoing than my sister”的习作，写出了她与好朋友Yang 的异同、喜爱Yang的理由及她对友情的看法。文章描写准确，感情真挚。作者能准确熟练运用比较等级，对“both， as...as”等词和词组的用法掌握较好，并能自如运用课文中的佳句，如“she reaches for my hand and touches my heart”，“it’s not necessary to be the same as long as they are good”等。但总体来说句子稍显零碎，关联词用得较少；比较两者异同时句式较单一，逻辑顺序还有待改善。另外，还有几个小错误，同学们可以讨论指出。如能再仔细斟酌词句，调整文段之间的逻辑顺序，应当会增色不少。
　　参考范文
　　Yang is my good friend. We are similar in many ways. We are not only in the same class， but also in the same row. We are both tall and we both have long straight hair. Both of us like listening to music and laughing. I work as hard as her and she sings as well as me. Though we are the same in many ways， we have some differences， too. For example， she is taller and quieter than me. I’m less serious than her. She is not as outgoing as me. I like sports but she likes reading.
　　Do you know why Yang is my good friend？ Because she truly cares about me—that’s important to me. Also， she is a good listener. When I have trouble， I always tell her. Then she reaches for my hand and touches my heart.
　　It’s not necessary for friends to be the same as long as they are getting on well. I think my friend is good， don’t you？