论文部分内容阅读
译/甄春亮
我是2月14日下午接到他的电话。当他的声音在电话那端响起，我脑中迅速闪过两个念头：第一，他跟那个女孩完了；第二，今晚我可能不会留在家里吃饭。
一切真如我料想的那样。
公交车载着我穿行过这个弥漫着巧克力与玫瑰浓香的城市。我想着我要去见他，这个认识了十几年却还没有真正走近的人。
其实我们之间的种种，应该算是友谊吧，可为什么他有了女朋友我会流泪，会生气得再也不想理他了？他今天约我出来，只是巧合吗？我不知道。到底应该用怎样的词汇来形容我们之间的关系？我们一起吃饭、散步、看电影，我们与大街上的男男女女没什么区别可又有着本质的区别，暧昧——是的，“暧昧”，这个词再准确不过了。
他在站牌下等我，说已经等了40分钟，我说路上人太多，汽车开不动。又问你为什么不找个暖和地方等我？他说那样你就找不到我了。两个人都在努力找话说，毕竟，这是个特殊的日子。
去哪儿吃饭？他问。我说随便。他说西餐好吗？我说还是算了吧，这日子西餐挺宰人的。其实我只是不知道，面对餐厅里缠绵的情侣，我们到底算什么？
时间一点点地流逝，我们依然像两个普通朋友一样一问一答地聊天。我开始相信今晚什么也不会发生，尽管，这种平静已经让我无比的失望。
从肯德基出来，外面风很大。看着满街的红男绿女，我忽然有一种想依偎他的冲动。但我还是忍住了。我说，我有点儿不舒服，回家吧。他问，家里有药吗？既然不舒服，那就早点休息吧。看着他满脸的关切，我咬咬嘴唇，最终没让眼泪掉下来，我真的觉得自己快要站不住了，随后逃也似的跳上了公共汽车。
我们站在车上与车下对望，看到我喜欢的他在街上欲言又止。
当车子驶出街角，他再也看不到我的时候，我告诉司机我要下车。
2月14日情人节那天，我站在寒风中泣不成声。
It was on the afternoon of February 14 that I received his call. As soon as I heard his voice on the other end of the line, two ideas flashed into my mind: he had broken with his girlfriend and perhaps I would dine out tonight.
Everything I guessed turned out to be true.
Taking the bus through the city permeated with the smell of chocolate and rose, I thought I was going to see him, a man I had known for a dozen of years but I could never draw into my love.
In fact everything concerning us could be regarded as friendship. But why did I weep and was so irritated that I wanted to stop contact with him after he had a girlfriend? Was it a coincidence that he wanted to see me on Valentine’s Day? I did not know. Which word should I use to depict the relationship between us? We would go to dinner, take a walk or see a film together like those lovers roaming in the streets but in essence our relationship differed greatly from theirs. The word “ ambiguous” came into my mind. Yes, no other word was more precise than it.
He stood under the sign of the bus stop. He said he had awaited me for over forty minutes. I told him the bus moved slowly because too many people were on the streets. I asked why he didn’t wait for me in a warm place. He said he was afraid I couldn’t find him. We tried hard to keep our conversation going on after all it was a special day.
He asked me where to go for dinner. I said anywhere. He asked if we’d go to eat Western-style food. I said we’d better not to because they would overcharge us that day. In fact the true reason was I didn’t know what roles we should play when sitting there in face of other affectionate lovers.
Time passed bit by bit. We still chatted like two ordinary friends. It suddenly dawned on me that nothing would happen tonight even though our peaceful talk had already disappointed me.
The wind blew hard when we came out of KFC. At sight of men and women in deep love in the street, I had the impulse to lean against him, but I held myself in. I told him I didn’t feel well and wanted to go home. He asked if I had any medicine at home, and said since I didn’t feel well, it’d be better for me to return early and have a good rest.
Seeing he was seriously concerned about me, I bit my lower lip to refrain from crying. I really felt that my legs could not support me any more. Later on when the bus came, I jumped into it as if I was running away.
I looked at the man I adored in the bus and he at me in the street. He wished to speak to me but did not on a second thought.
When the bus turned round the street corner where he could not see me, I told the bus driver I wanted to get off.
Standing in the chilly wind, I choked with sobs on that Valentine’s Day.
我是2月14日下午接到他的电话。当他的声音在电话那端响起，我脑中迅速闪过两个念头：第一，他跟那个女孩完了；第二，今晚我可能不会留在家里吃饭。
一切真如我料想的那样。
公交车载着我穿行过这个弥漫着巧克力与玫瑰浓香的城市。我想着我要去见他，这个认识了十几年却还没有真正走近的人。
其实我们之间的种种，应该算是友谊吧，可为什么他有了女朋友我会流泪，会生气得再也不想理他了？他今天约我出来，只是巧合吗？我不知道。到底应该用怎样的词汇来形容我们之间的关系？我们一起吃饭、散步、看电影，我们与大街上的男男女女没什么区别可又有着本质的区别，暧昧——是的，“暧昧”，这个词再准确不过了。
他在站牌下等我，说已经等了40分钟，我说路上人太多，汽车开不动。又问你为什么不找个暖和地方等我？他说那样你就找不到我了。两个人都在努力找话说，毕竟，这是个特殊的日子。
去哪儿吃饭？他问。我说随便。他说西餐好吗？我说还是算了吧，这日子西餐挺宰人的。其实我只是不知道，面对餐厅里缠绵的情侣，我们到底算什么？
时间一点点地流逝，我们依然像两个普通朋友一样一问一答地聊天。我开始相信今晚什么也不会发生，尽管，这种平静已经让我无比的失望。
从肯德基出来，外面风很大。看着满街的红男绿女，我忽然有一种想依偎他的冲动。但我还是忍住了。我说，我有点儿不舒服，回家吧。他问，家里有药吗？既然不舒服，那就早点休息吧。看着他满脸的关切，我咬咬嘴唇，最终没让眼泪掉下来，我真的觉得自己快要站不住了，随后逃也似的跳上了公共汽车。
我们站在车上与车下对望，看到我喜欢的他在街上欲言又止。
当车子驶出街角，他再也看不到我的时候，我告诉司机我要下车。
2月14日情人节那天，我站在寒风中泣不成声。
It was on the afternoon of February 14 that I received his call. As soon as I heard his voice on the other end of the line, two ideas flashed into my mind: he had broken with his girlfriend and perhaps I would dine out tonight.
Everything I guessed turned out to be true.
Taking the bus through the city permeated with the smell of chocolate and rose, I thought I was going to see him, a man I had known for a dozen of years but I could never draw into my love.
In fact everything concerning us could be regarded as friendship. But why did I weep and was so irritated that I wanted to stop contact with him after he had a girlfriend? Was it a coincidence that he wanted to see me on Valentine’s Day? I did not know. Which word should I use to depict the relationship between us? We would go to dinner, take a walk or see a film together like those lovers roaming in the streets but in essence our relationship differed greatly from theirs. The word “ ambiguous” came into my mind. Yes, no other word was more precise than it.
He stood under the sign of the bus stop. He said he had awaited me for over forty minutes. I told him the bus moved slowly because too many people were on the streets. I asked why he didn’t wait for me in a warm place. He said he was afraid I couldn’t find him. We tried hard to keep our conversation going on after all it was a special day.
He asked me where to go for dinner. I said anywhere. He asked if we’d go to eat Western-style food. I said we’d better not to because they would overcharge us that day. In fact the true reason was I didn’t know what roles we should play when sitting there in face of other affectionate lovers.
Time passed bit by bit. We still chatted like two ordinary friends. It suddenly dawned on me that nothing would happen tonight even though our peaceful talk had already disappointed me.
The wind blew hard when we came out of KFC. At sight of men and women in deep love in the street, I had the impulse to lean against him, but I held myself in. I told him I didn’t feel well and wanted to go home. He asked if I had any medicine at home, and said since I didn’t feel well, it’d be better for me to return early and have a good rest.
Seeing he was seriously concerned about me, I bit my lower lip to refrain from crying. I really felt that my legs could not support me any more. Later on when the bus came, I jumped into it as if I was running away.
I looked at the man I adored in the bus and he at me in the street. He wished to speak to me but did not on a second thought.
When the bus turned round the street corner where he could not see me, I told the bus driver I wanted to get off.
Standing in the chilly wind, I choked with sobs on that Valentine’s Day.