父母的“谎言”背后

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  Six Lies That Older People
  Tell Younger People
  Sometimes, there’s a reason behind it.
  1. I’m broke.1
  A Facebook friend complained how her in-laws cried poverty when she asked them to pay for their grandkids’ camp last summer and then announced at Thanksgiving that they just booked a cruise2 to Alaska. “They have money for that,” she wrote irately3, “but not to help their own grandchildren!” She oozed indignation,4 which is probably why the grandparents lied about being broke in the first place.
  It’s their money. This is their retirement. They worked hard for years and years and how they spend their money is their choice. It doesn’t mean that they don’t hope their grandkids have a great summer. It just means they have always wanted to see Alaska and now they are finally able to.
  Whether it’s a request to bail the kids out of credit card debt, to help out with college or take over a car payment, few people make it through retirement without being asked to help fix a family member’s financial problems.5 As a result, some retirees “dial down the dialogue on their true wealth in order to politely fend off family members who struggle to manage their own finances,”6 wrote Forbes ever-so-nicely. Put more bluntly7: They lie. They lie because if retirement isn’t the time to put yourself first, when exactly is that time?
  2. I’m doing fine.
  About 36 percent of Americans have nothing saved for retirement. They will rely on Social Security8 to live; 47 percent of single seniors say that 90 percent of their income comes from Social Security. Living on Social Security, with its average payment of $1,335 a month, can hardly be described as “doing fine.” People say this when they don’t want you to worry about them. Maybe somebody should be worrying. Pride can be a dangerous thing. Seniors have been known to cut their medications in half to make them stretch longer or not turn on the heat to save money.9
  3. I’m so busy.
  Most adult children want to believe that their parents are living active, happy and fulfilling10 lives. They want to believe that until they want them to babysit. Then they want them to be available at the drop of a hat11. Grandkids can sometimes be a handful12. Most grandparents are happy to help out with the kids, but no one likes being taken for granted13. It’s a fine line and both sides need to be mindful of crossing it.14
  If it’s any consolation, researchers from the Women’s Health Aging Project in Australia found that postmenopausal women who spend one day a week caring for their grandchildren have a lower risk of developing Alzheimer’s and other cognitive disorders.15 However, the study found, those who spend five days a week or more caring for little ones have a higher risk of developing neurodegenerative disorders16.
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