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【Abstract】Politeness is the symbol of human civilization. Due to different historical， lingual and cultural backgrounds， different societies may have different criteria to politeness. And this leads to some problems such as misunderstandings and embarrassments in cross-cultural or intercultural communication. In order to solve these problems， the author presents an account of politeness phenomena in modern China， and aims to make a comparative study on politeness between people with different social distance.
【Key words】Politeness； modern China
1. Introduction
Politeness， as a social phenomenon， is the strategy to maintain the harmonious interpersonal relationship；politeness is also a kind of social conventions， it lays certain restraints on all the social members （Sun Kang， 2014）. It is an essential part of society. Without it， the society would turn out to be a mess， and leads to some problems such as misunderstandings and embarrassments between people.
2. The Specific Application of Politeness in China
On the one hand， people of different backgrounds may share a host of common basic concepts （truth， honor， justice， etc.） but view them from angles and perspectives that others might consider irrational or prejudiced （Richard Lewis， 2003）. And on the other， people treat different people with different attitudes， using different kinds of words and expressions， according to their relationship and the context.
2.1 Politeness between strangers
There is an absent of address between strangers in China， when people walk in the street， will they stop and then greet everyone they do not know， the answer is no. People in other countries may regard it as indifference， but I think it is a waste of time to greet others that you do not know.
Kinship terms can be used in all social interactions to signal solidarity and familiarity or as a politeness strategy to claim closeness. Their proper use necessitates a more complex undertaking than that was required by historical terms of address. When you meet a girl in twenties， you would better call her “美女”， whether she is younger or elder than you；and when you encounter with a woman， who is 50 or more， you can call her “大姐”；and even the 80-year-old grandma will glad if you call her “大姐” instead of “大媽” or “奶奶” in recent days.
2.2 Politeness between customers and sellers
The customers are not always treated as God now， especially at some self-employed shops. The owner run the store by themselves， there is no restrictions imposed on them， and they will not degrade themselves to cater for customers. If you are in a clothing store， the shopper would fully perceive your feelings and needs， and they mainly use the positive politeness strategy first by addressing customers as “美女”. Then they exaggerate the out of style and ugliness of your original clothes and tell you， wearing her clothes， you changed suddenly from an ugly duckling into a princess. And they would tell the customer they are from the same city， address the customer as “妹子” to shorten the distance， and convince the customer. And finally， they always get satisfactory results. 2.3 Politeness between people with different social status
Discursive tools are applied in contemporary social interactions to satisfy the socio-pragmatic requirements of acknowledgement of power differences and social distance. Modern terms of address are less explicitly hierarchical on the semantic level， even though they can be used to maintain hierarchy. Self-denigrating honorifics have largely disappeared from colloquial language. Instead of denigrate themselves by calling themselves as “奴婢”， they elevate others by calling “王總”， “王院”， “王主任” to show hierarchy.
There is always some kind of hierarchical order between two speakers in contemporary Chinese interactions， based on rank， age， gender， social status. The person in the higher position uses one set of politeness strategies， and vice versa. （Yuling Pan. Daniel Z. Kadar. 2011）.
2.4 Politeness between families
There is a terrible phenomenon nowadays. People often lose their temper when staying with their loved ones， but they are always gentle towards others they do not familiar with. Except for the addresses， there is little politeness among them， they think that telling them the truth can benefit them. particularly， with regard to some young people， they do not have the sense to appreciate their parents. I think politeness is an attitude， is the manifestation of one’s personal qualities. You can be gentle， be polite， and even be tolerant to others， why can’t you do these to your families？
2.5 Politeness between close friends
And the phenomenon of asymmetrical use of politeness is puzzling to some people， who is kind of conventional not so outgoing as many young people， and view politeness as a two-way street. On one hand， their politeness is often regarded as overpoliteness indicating distance and even hypocrisy， on the other， when they expect all their courtesy to be reciprocated， they failed.
3. Conclusion
Recently， some self-denigrating honorifics have largely disappeared from colloquial language， and in spite， people prefer to use other strategies to show closeness， like the tag question， small talk and white lies. Different people have different perception of politeness. Mutual understanding is the prerequisite for the subsequent communication. No matter which strategy you choose to use， you would better make clear that what kind of person you are facing with， what situation you are in， and whether he/she could accept your “politeness”.
References：
[1]Richard Lewis，（2003）.The Cultural Imperative：Global Trends in the 21st Century.Intercultural Press.
[2]Sun Kang.（2014）.A Comparative Study of Politeness Principle in Chinese and English Language and Culture，in Oral-seas English.
[3]Yuling Pan.Daniel Z.Kadar.（2011）.Historical VS.Contemporary Chinese Linguistic Politeness.Journal of Pragmatics.
【Key words】Politeness； modern China
1. Introduction
Politeness， as a social phenomenon， is the strategy to maintain the harmonious interpersonal relationship；politeness is also a kind of social conventions， it lays certain restraints on all the social members （Sun Kang， 2014）. It is an essential part of society. Without it， the society would turn out to be a mess， and leads to some problems such as misunderstandings and embarrassments between people.
2. The Specific Application of Politeness in China
On the one hand， people of different backgrounds may share a host of common basic concepts （truth， honor， justice， etc.） but view them from angles and perspectives that others might consider irrational or prejudiced （Richard Lewis， 2003）. And on the other， people treat different people with different attitudes， using different kinds of words and expressions， according to their relationship and the context.
2.1 Politeness between strangers
There is an absent of address between strangers in China， when people walk in the street， will they stop and then greet everyone they do not know， the answer is no. People in other countries may regard it as indifference， but I think it is a waste of time to greet others that you do not know.
Kinship terms can be used in all social interactions to signal solidarity and familiarity or as a politeness strategy to claim closeness. Their proper use necessitates a more complex undertaking than that was required by historical terms of address. When you meet a girl in twenties， you would better call her “美女”， whether she is younger or elder than you；and when you encounter with a woman， who is 50 or more， you can call her “大姐”；and even the 80-year-old grandma will glad if you call her “大姐” instead of “大媽” or “奶奶” in recent days.
2.2 Politeness between customers and sellers
The customers are not always treated as God now， especially at some self-employed shops. The owner run the store by themselves， there is no restrictions imposed on them， and they will not degrade themselves to cater for customers. If you are in a clothing store， the shopper would fully perceive your feelings and needs， and they mainly use the positive politeness strategy first by addressing customers as “美女”. Then they exaggerate the out of style and ugliness of your original clothes and tell you， wearing her clothes， you changed suddenly from an ugly duckling into a princess. And they would tell the customer they are from the same city， address the customer as “妹子” to shorten the distance， and convince the customer. And finally， they always get satisfactory results. 2.3 Politeness between people with different social status
Discursive tools are applied in contemporary social interactions to satisfy the socio-pragmatic requirements of acknowledgement of power differences and social distance. Modern terms of address are less explicitly hierarchical on the semantic level， even though they can be used to maintain hierarchy. Self-denigrating honorifics have largely disappeared from colloquial language. Instead of denigrate themselves by calling themselves as “奴婢”， they elevate others by calling “王總”， “王院”， “王主任” to show hierarchy.
There is always some kind of hierarchical order between two speakers in contemporary Chinese interactions， based on rank， age， gender， social status. The person in the higher position uses one set of politeness strategies， and vice versa. （Yuling Pan. Daniel Z. Kadar. 2011）.
2.4 Politeness between families
There is a terrible phenomenon nowadays. People often lose their temper when staying with their loved ones， but they are always gentle towards others they do not familiar with. Except for the addresses， there is little politeness among them， they think that telling them the truth can benefit them. particularly， with regard to some young people， they do not have the sense to appreciate their parents. I think politeness is an attitude， is the manifestation of one’s personal qualities. You can be gentle， be polite， and even be tolerant to others， why can’t you do these to your families？
2.5 Politeness between close friends
And the phenomenon of asymmetrical use of politeness is puzzling to some people， who is kind of conventional not so outgoing as many young people， and view politeness as a two-way street. On one hand， their politeness is often regarded as overpoliteness indicating distance and even hypocrisy， on the other， when they expect all their courtesy to be reciprocated， they failed.
3. Conclusion
Recently， some self-denigrating honorifics have largely disappeared from colloquial language， and in spite， people prefer to use other strategies to show closeness， like the tag question， small talk and white lies. Different people have different perception of politeness. Mutual understanding is the prerequisite for the subsequent communication. No matter which strategy you choose to use， you would better make clear that what kind of person you are facing with， what situation you are in， and whether he/she could accept your “politeness”.
References：
[1]Richard Lewis，（2003）.The Cultural Imperative：Global Trends in the 21st Century.Intercultural Press.
[2]Sun Kang.（2014）.A Comparative Study of Politeness Principle in Chinese and English Language and Culture，in Oral-seas English.
[3]Yuling Pan.Daniel Z.Kadar.（2011）.Historical VS.Contemporary Chinese Linguistic Politeness.Journal of Pragmatics.