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鉴于许多读者强烈要求继续扩大读者参与互动版块，编辑部经过慎重考虑，决定推出“日记我心”栏目，由读者自己动手，用英语写自己的故事，本刊选取优异者，经英语编辑点评后刊登。但鉴于版面的限制，字数控制在300字左右。敬请关注。
My father is a worker. He was brave and stubborn, but he was quite kind to me when I was young.
When I was in primary school, I went walking with dad after supper every evening. During that time, he often told me stories and funny things that happened around him. He tried his best to make me laugh, and I enjoyed it very much.
As time went by, I became a middle school student.One day dad asked me to go out for a walk. “No, I have a lot of homework to do,” I refused him firmly and coldly. “Just a few minutes?” “No, I’ve told you I have no time!” I shouted. He seemed disappointed.
Just two months before my final examination,my dad was hit by a truck on his way home from a wedding.He had to live in a hospital.
When I heard this news, I couldn’t help crying. The hospital was far from my home and the exam was nearer and nearer.I called him. When I heard his voice again, I was too sad to say a word.“ Take care, dad.” This was what I could say.
A week later, my mother suggested me to watch my father. I saw my father again. He appeared to be tired and old.“Dad, I miss you very much.” I said these words with tears in my eyes.
After supper, I suddenly rememberd something.“ Dad, let’s go for a walk. OK?” “Of course, let’s go.” He said excitedly.
We went to the park near the hospital.
“Why do you love me so much, Dad?” I asked this question again. He thought for a while then he liftedhis head, watching the light of the setting sun, “There is no reason for father’s love.” He smiled, and I smiled too.
Fathers are satisfied easily because“There is no reason for father’s love”.
Jeffrey’s Commentary:
This is a touching story of how a near-tragic accident brought a father and son closer together, and helped a son understand his father.When translated into English, the phrase, “There is no reason for a father’s love” sounds a bit like the father’s love has no basis or cause, which is probably not what the writer meant.I think a better way of expressing the idea would be “a father’s love is unconditional”.In other words, fathers love their children, not for specific reasons or because of any behavior on the part of the children, but simply because that is what fathers do.
The writer frequently uses more words than necessary to convey an idea.Also, when using quotes, a new paragraph is required each time there is a change of speaker.
The most common mistake in storytelling is inconsistencies of tense, especially a mixture of past and present tense.Here, the writer nearly always avoids such mistakes, and does a fine job of making all verbs past tense.
My father is a worker. He was brave and stubborn, but he was quite kind to me when I was young.
When I was in primary school, I went walking with dad after supper every evening. During that time, he often told me stories and funny things that happened around him. He tried his best to make me laugh, and I enjoyed it very much.
As time went by, I became a middle school student.One day dad asked me to go out for a walk. “No, I have a lot of homework to do,” I refused him firmly and coldly. “Just a few minutes?” “No, I’ve told you I have no time!” I shouted. He seemed disappointed.
Just two months before my final examination,my dad was hit by a truck on his way home from a wedding.He had to live in a hospital.
When I heard this news, I couldn’t help crying. The hospital was far from my home and the exam was nearer and nearer.I called him. When I heard his voice again, I was too sad to say a word.“ Take care, dad.” This was what I could say.
A week later, my mother suggested me to watch my father. I saw my father again. He appeared to be tired and old.“Dad, I miss you very much.” I said these words with tears in my eyes.
After supper, I suddenly rememberd something.“ Dad, let’s go for a walk. OK?” “Of course, let’s go.” He said excitedly.
We went to the park near the hospital.
“Why do you love me so much, Dad?” I asked this question again. He thought for a while then he liftedhis head, watching the light of the setting sun, “There is no reason for father’s love.” He smiled, and I smiled too.
Fathers are satisfied easily because“There is no reason for father’s love”.
Jeffrey’s Commentary:
This is a touching story of how a near-tragic accident brought a father and son closer together, and helped a son understand his father.When translated into English, the phrase, “There is no reason for a father’s love” sounds a bit like the father’s love has no basis or cause, which is probably not what the writer meant.I think a better way of expressing the idea would be “a father’s love is unconditional”.In other words, fathers love their children, not for specific reasons or because of any behavior on the part of the children, but simply because that is what fathers do.
The writer frequently uses more words than necessary to convey an idea.Also, when using quotes, a new paragraph is required each time there is a change of speaker.
The most common mistake in storytelling is inconsistencies of tense, especially a mixture of past and present tense.Here, the writer nearly always avoids such mistakes, and does a fine job of making all verbs past tense.