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Today is Friday. It is my thirteen① birthday. I got up very early in the morning and put on my new clothes happily. My parents bought me the new clothes for② my birthday present. I went to school earlier than before. I invited many classmates come③ to my birthday party in the evening.
Evening came at last. Many of my classmates came to my home. They bought me lots of beautiful present④. They all said， “Happy birthday to you！” We all sang birthday songs happily. Then my parents took out a big birthday cake and said to me， “Happy birthday！We love you forever！”
At the end of the party， we eated⑤ the birthday cake and some other delicious food. How happy I was！
安徽省濉溪縣百善中心学校七（1）班 赵毅
点评
1. 优点：
这是一篇典型的记叙文；时间、地点、人物、事件等要素齐全，表达清晰，让人一目了然；时态运用准确。
2. 需要修改的地方：
①thirteen应改为thirteenth。此处应用序数词thirteenth，意为“第十三”。
②for应改为as。表示“作为”，此处应用as。
③come应改为to come。表示“邀请某人去做某事”，应用invite sb. to do sth.。
④present应改为presents。此处应用名词的复数形式。
⑤eated应改为ate。eat的过去式是不规则变化，即ate。
3. 评分：
按中考英语作文满分25分的标准，本文修改前可得22分。
Evening came at last. Many of my classmates came to my home. They bought me lots of beautiful present④. They all said， “Happy birthday to you！” We all sang birthday songs happily. Then my parents took out a big birthday cake and said to me， “Happy birthday！We love you forever！”
At the end of the party， we eated⑤ the birthday cake and some other delicious food. How happy I was！
安徽省濉溪縣百善中心学校七（1）班 赵毅
点评
1. 优点：
这是一篇典型的记叙文；时间、地点、人物、事件等要素齐全，表达清晰，让人一目了然；时态运用准确。
2. 需要修改的地方：
①thirteen应改为thirteenth。此处应用序数词thirteenth，意为“第十三”。
②for应改为as。表示“作为”，此处应用as。
③come应改为to come。表示“邀请某人去做某事”，应用invite sb. to do sth.。
④present应改为presents。此处应用名词的复数形式。
⑤eated应改为ate。eat的过去式是不规则变化，即ate。
3. 评分：
按中考英语作文满分25分的标准，本文修改前可得22分。