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Tomorrow is the New Year’s Day. Yesterday all the students in Class 1， Grade 8 asked the head teacher Mr. Zhang to have a New Year’s Day party. My Zhang told the monitor to organize the activity.
“Excuse me， Mr. Wang. We need some help. Could you please help us write the words， ‘Happy New Year’s Day！’ and draw something on the blackboard？” asked Wang Hui. Mr. Wang said， “Sorry， I can’t. I have to have art classes. You can do① yourselves.”
Wang Hui said to Li Ying who is good at draw②， “Could you please write and draw something on the blackboard？” “Sure，” said Li Ying.
“Hello， everyone！ Could you please clean and decorate the classroom？”
“Sure.”
Two hours later， everything were③ ready for the party.
安徽省濉溪县百善中心学校九（3）班 周丽
点评
1. 优点：
小作者能根据写作要求，展开联想，将文章按事件发生的先后顺序来组织文章，这样文章就显得条理十分清晰，而且运用了刚学过的语言点，写好短文；此外，主题鲜明，表达流畅，这些都是本文的闪光点。然而，也有错误存在，仍要努力练笔。
2. 需要修改的地方：
① 在do后面加上代词it。 it用来代替要做的事情。
② 把draw改为动名词drawing。因为介词at后用名词或动名词。
③ 把此处的were改为was。因为当everything， somebody， everyone等复合不定代词作主语时，动词用单数形式。
3. 评分：
按中考英语作文满分20的评分标准，本文修改前可得17分。
“Excuse me， Mr. Wang. We need some help. Could you please help us write the words， ‘Happy New Year’s Day！’ and draw something on the blackboard？” asked Wang Hui. Mr. Wang said， “Sorry， I can’t. I have to have art classes. You can do① yourselves.”
Wang Hui said to Li Ying who is good at draw②， “Could you please write and draw something on the blackboard？” “Sure，” said Li Ying.
“Hello， everyone！ Could you please clean and decorate the classroom？”
“Sure.”
Two hours later， everything were③ ready for the party.
安徽省濉溪县百善中心学校九（3）班 周丽
点评
1. 优点：
小作者能根据写作要求，展开联想，将文章按事件发生的先后顺序来组织文章，这样文章就显得条理十分清晰，而且运用了刚学过的语言点，写好短文；此外，主题鲜明，表达流畅，这些都是本文的闪光点。然而，也有错误存在，仍要努力练笔。
2. 需要修改的地方：
① 在do后面加上代词it。 it用来代替要做的事情。
② 把draw改为动名词drawing。因为介词at后用名词或动名词。
③ 把此处的were改为was。因为当everything， somebody， everyone等复合不定代词作主语时，动词用单数形式。
3. 评分：
按中考英语作文满分20的评分标准，本文修改前可得17分。