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到目前为止 ,出现了各种各样的言语礼貌理论 ,但它们似乎都存在某种程度上的偏颇。笔者认为言语是否礼貌 ,不完全取决于言语本身 (即直接言语可能是礼貌的 ,而间接言语可能是不礼貌的 ) ,而在很大程度上取决于人们的认知期待 (即是否与认知期待一致 ) ,认知期待又源于语境文化规约 ,因为不同语境或文化会有不同、甚至相反的言语行为规范。一句话 ,礼貌就是满足人们的认知期待 ,符合特定语境文化的习惯规约 ,最终得体。
To date, there have been various theories of verbal politeness, but they all seem to be biased to some degree. The author believes that speech is not polite, not entirely depends on the language itself (that is, direct speech may be polite, but indirect speech may be impolite), but to a large extent depends on people’s cognitive expectations (that is, whether the cognitive Expect to be consistent). Cognitive expectation, in turn, stems from the contextual cultural norms, because different contexts or cultures may have different norms of verbal behavior. In a word, politeness is to meet people’s cognitive expectations, in line with the specific context of cultural norms, eventually decent.