老军垦(赵宝海)稀疏两鬓淡霜丝,每忆荒原初拓时。篝火已经非战火,队旗犹自是军旗。垄纹春种白棉雪,地锦秋披黄布衣。老去依然有宏愿,机车遥控逐风驰。(2016.4《中华诗词》)邓世广评:此律韵脚之“丝、时、旗、驰”皆为上平声四支韵,“衣”是上平声五微韵。显然是用新韵。四联格律严谨,对仗工稳,尤其颔联两句连贯一气,如行云流水,洵为佳制。尾联出句“仄仄平平仄平仄”是特殊平仄格式,习称准律句,于此可见作者功底。 Old Army Reclamation (Zhao Baohai) sparse two 鬓 pale cream silk, each recalled wasteland when the first extension. Bonfire has been non-war, the flag is still self-flag. Ridge spring white cotton snow, to Kam autumn yellow cloth coat. The old is still ambitious, locomotive remote controlled by the wind Chi. (2016.4 “Chinese Poetry”) Deng Shiguang Comment: This rhyme rhyme foot “silk, flag, Chi ” are all on the Ping Ping four rhyme, “clothing ” is on the Ping Wu five rhyme. Apparently new rhyme. Quadruple stringent rules, work on a stable, in particular, couplet coherence two lines, as well, 洵 is the best system. End of the line sentence “Chek flat flat Chek flat ” is a special level flat format, Xi said the quasi-law sentence, we can see the author skills.