此文出彩之笔有两处,其一是在穷苦的家中“让我把蛋白抿出来吃了”,其二是在愿望顶上“母亲将两手合成喇叭状,对着山大喊”。这生动地回应了第四自然段的“一切”。最出彩的是“其二”——作者丰富的想象力,把母亲心中的话用特定的情境再现出来。此文题目宜改为“愿望顶”,以更具个性化。 There are two pens in this article. One is to “let me get the protein out of the house” in a poor home, and the other is on the top of my wish. “The mother will synthesize the trumpet with both hands and shout at the mountain”. This vividly responded to the “everything” of the fourth natural period. The most outstanding is the “second” - the author’s rich imagination to reproduce the words of the mother’s heart in a specific situation. This article should be changed to “wish top” to be more personalized.