十年前,我在一次国家级文学评 奖的终评中,被不公弹劾。这次巨创,不仅使我大病一场,且从骨子里感受到功利性外向化写作对人的致命戕害。由于彼时我还“人在惑中”,还处于两眼一抹黑的纯然感性写作的低级阶段,加之我先定的某些极致病,因此一旦受伤,生存性的分裂情绪便表现的尤为强烈。我连连写了《不再掩饰》、《人生大于著书》等邪火高八丈、葡萄说酸式的宣泄文章。尽是些大话诳 Ten years ago, I was unjustified in the final comment of a national literary award. This gigantic creation not only made me seriously ill, but also felt the deadly harm done to people by utilitarian outward writing. Since I was still “mesmerized” by the time I was still at a low stage of purely sensual writing with two smears of blackness, and some extremely pathogenic diseases that I set at the time, the fission of survivability manifested itself especially strongly . I repeatedly wrote “no longer hide”, “life is greater than the book” and other evil fire Baizhang, sour grapes that catharsis article. Do all the talk