不是我不想回家,而是我害怕回家。回一次家,身子就像负了千斤万斤的重担,在乡路上蹒跚而行的时候,才知灌注了铅样的双腿是感情沉甸的倾注。回一次家,脑中贮满一张又一张又连着一张不忍目睹的图画,在静寂的暗夜里反刍的时候,才知内心以莫大的悲痛承受着感情的煎熬。 Not that I don’t want to go home, but I’m afraid to go home. When I returned home once, my body was like a heavy burden, and when I was walking on my country road, I learned that pouring lead-like legs was a dumping of my feelings. When I returned home once, my brain filled with pictures that I couldn’t bear to witness, and when I was ruminating in the darkness of silence, I learned that my heart was suffering with emotions with great grief.