When I tried to hug her， she’d tell me it was too hot for hugs. So I learned to stop trying. We never had conversations①. I thought it was normal②. It was all I knew. I always thought the relationship③ between a mother and a child was about giving and receiving orders④. But when I was ten years old， I went to a friend’s house to do a school project. At first I remember feeling sorry for him. His family was so poor. There was almost nothing in the house. But when we walked inside， his mom gave him such a big hug. And she was so happy to see him. And that was the saddest moment of my life. Because I never knew that was something you could have. My mom still doesn’t hug me. But I think we’re on the way to that. I had an asthma⑤ attack⑥ recently， and I felt so weak， and she told me I could lay my head in her lap⑦. I can’t explain how special⑧that made me feel.
　　我想拥抱她，她说抱着太热了，所以我学会了不再尝试。我们从没有过真正的谈话，我觉得那很正常，我所知道的就是這样的，我一直以为母亲和孩子之间就是她说什么你做什么。但我10岁时去一个朋友家做一个学校布置的任务，记得一开始我还为他难过呢：他家穷得叮当响，可以说是家徒四壁。但我们一进门，他妈妈就给了他一个好大的拥抱，她看到他好开心哦。那是我这辈子最难过的时刻，因为我从不知道那是我本来可以拥有的。我妈妈还是不拥抱我，但我认为我们正朝着那个方向去：最近我哮喘发作，浑身没劲儿，她跟我说我可以把头放在她腿上。说不出来那让我感觉有多特别。