有一次,在学校大厅,我听到一位奶奶正在训斥自己的孙女:“你看看,学了这么长时间了,还写成这个样子,一点儿中心思想都没有,还这么短!”女孩在一边低着头,眼泪止不住地往下流。我连忙走过去安抚孩子,并翻开她的作文本,看看这篇被奶奶批得一无是处的作文。孩子写了一件关于礼物的事情,大意是她以为生日那天妈妈会送给她一辆自行车,没想到下午妈妈回家带给她的是一摞习题集,她好失望,觉得妈妈一点儿都不懂她的心思。我觉得这篇作文写得挺好,正如老师的批语:本文最精彩之处在于制造出了强烈的反差效果。小作者紧紧围绕着礼物这条线索,以心中的愿望开头(梦寐以求的“一辆红色 Once, in the school hall, I heard a grandma scolding her granddaughter: ”Look at it for a long time, write it like this, Girl head down on one side, tears stop flowing down. I quickly walked past to appease the child and opened her composition to see if this was a useless composition by her grandmother. The child wrote something about the gift, to the effect that she thought her mother would give her a bike on her birthday. I did not expect the afternoon mom brought her back to her a bundle of exercises. She was so disappointed that her mother was a little bit too Do not understand her mind. I think this essay is well written, as the teacher’s remark: The highlight of this article is to create a strong contrast effect. Small author closely around the gift of this clue, with the wishes of the hearts of the beginning (dream coveted a red