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你是谁的绝对，谁是你的也许？
你不能在事业的上升期遇到爱情，对方会觉得你更关注自己的事业——正如威廉第一次向埃米莉求婚时；你不能在事业的低谷遇到爱情，对方会觉得你在拿自己当慰籍品——正如威廉在埃普丽尔家门口表白时。
所谓真爱，并不是who的问题，而是when的问题。
Plot:
威廉离婚后，经不住女儿玛雅的再三要求，讲述起关于自己的三段爱情经历：
威尔暂别大学女友埃米莉独自来到纽约发展自己的事业，成为协助克林顿竞选总统的竞选战团中的一员。后来威尔跟战团中的打杂女孩埃普丽尔、新闻记者夏曼发展出若有还无的感情。即使到后来威廉在纽约站稳了脚，有了自己的公司，他还是无法走出这三个完全不同的女人的萦绕……
Maya: I think you should tell me the story of you and my mom.
William: Why do you keep saying “my mom” like I’ve never met her?
Maya: Well, because now that you’re getting divorced, she’s mine, not yours.
William: Is that so?
Maya: Tell me how it happened. And the real story, not the, “Oh, we met, we fell in love, and we decided to take all that love and make a family, and that’s how we made you.”
William: You know something? I’m gonna tell you the real, true story of how me and your mother met.
Maya: When I’m old enough.
William: Yep.
Maya: Look, I know love isn’t a fairytale.
William: Really?
Maya: Really. Did you have another girlfriend before you met her? Come on, tell me the truth.
William: (Sighs) I had two serious girlfriends. And then some other... 1)smattering of other women that I dated. What?
Maya: What’s the boy word for 2)slut?
William: They still haven’t come up with one yet, but I’m sure they’re working on it.
Maya:You still have to tell me the story of why you fell in love with her.
William: I fell in love with her because she was smart and beautiful and fun.
Maya: So now she’s stupid and ugly and boring?
William: Of course not.
Maya: Then what’s the problem?
William: It’s complicated, Maya.
Maya: Everything with you is so complicated. I bet that if you just told me the story, you’d realize that it’s not complicated at all, that you just love her.
William: I know this is tough for you, but what are you thinking? That I’m gonna tell you this story and it’s gonna make everything better? It doesn’t work that way.
Maya: Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. Tell me and we’ll find out.
William: No. Game over. It’s time for bed.
Maya: No, it’s not time for bed! It’s time for you to tell me the story!
William: Maya.
Maya: I need to know! (Changes into begging voice) I need to know.
William: Fine! Fine! I’m gonna tell you the story, but I’m not telling you who your mom is.
Maya: Fine.
William: You’re just gonna have to 3)figure it out for yourself.
Maya: Good.
William: And I’m changing all the names and some of the facts, but I just decided that right now. And then we’ll see how smart you are.
Maya: I like it. It’s like a love story mystery.
William: Great. Sounds good. You ready?
玛雅：我想你该告诉我你与我妈的故事了。
威廉：你为什么一直称她为“我妈”？好像我从未见过她似的。
玛雅：这个，因为你们要离婚了，所以她是我的，不是你的。
威廉：是这样吗？
玛雅：告诉我这事是怎样发生的，你们的真实故事，不是什么“噢，我们相遇并相恋了，然后决定用我们的爱建立一个家庭，并因此生下了你”那样的话。
威廉：你知道吗？我将会告诉你我跟你妈相识的来龙去脉。
玛雅：等我长大时。
威廉：没错。
玛雅：你瞧，我知道爱情并非童话。
威廉：真的吗？
玛雅：真的。你在认识她之前有别的女友吗？拜托，跟我说实情。
威廉：（叹气）我曾有过两个正式的女友。还有一些随便交往过的女人。怎么了？
玛雅：“荡妇”的男生对应词是什么？
威廉：还没有人想到那词，但我相信有人正在努力中。
玛雅：你还是得告诉我你为何爱上她。
威廉：我爱上她是因为她很聪明、漂亮又风趣。
玛雅：那她现在又蠢又丑又无聊了吗？
威廉：当然不是。
玛雅：那问题出在哪儿？
威廉：很复杂，玛雅。
玛雅：你什么事都很复杂。我打赌若是你跟我说了那故事后，你就不会觉得一切都如此复杂了。你就是爱她。
威廉：我知道这事对你来说很难以接受，但你在想什么？你以为故事说完后一切都会好转了吗？这行不通的。
玛雅：也许可以，也许不行。跟我讲了后我们就知道了。
威廉：不，游戏结束了，该睡觉了。
玛雅：不，现在不是睡觉的时候，是你该跟我说这故事的时候。
威廉：玛雅。
玛雅：我就要知道！（转为哀求的语气）我需要知道。
威廉：好啦！好啦！我告诉你就是了，但我不会告诉你里面哪个是你妈。
玛雅：好。
威廉：你得自己弄清楚。
玛雅：好。
威廉：而且我还会用化名，并改变一些细节，不过这是我现在才想到的。然后我们再来看看你有多聪明。
玛雅：我喜欢，像是爱情悬疑故事。
威廉：很好，听起来不错，准备好了吗？
Scene 1
“徘徊过多少橱窗，住过多少旅馆，才会觉得分离也并不冤枉”
Once upon a time, before e-mails and cell phones and 4)reality television shows, in 1992 to be exact, in a little town called Madison, Wisconsin, there lived a young man named William Hayes. Now, this young man was deeply, deeply in love with his college sweetheart. Let’s call her...
Maya: Emily!
William: Emily! Emily!
Emily: Hey.
William: Hi.
All: Ten, nine, eight...
William: Hey, guess who’s gonna be the luckiest guy on planet Earth in...oh...four seconds?
Emily: You.
All: ...two, one! Happy New Year!
William: Oh, they were a perfect couple. Except to really understand how this young man ended up marrying your mother, you’ll also need to know that he had a very big, 5)incredibly embarrassing dream.
(To the mirror)All rise for the President of the United States of America, William Matthew Hayes.
Emily: I’m just, I don’t understand why you have to work for Clinton in New York. Why can’t you just work for him in Madison?
William: Well, because they don’t need me here. They need me in New York.
Charlie: They need him, Em. Will’s the man. I can’t believe you’re letting him go. I mean, don’t you know about New York girls? Besides being incredibly hot, they have no problem with casual sex, which by the way, I totally respect. (Charlie is locked out)
Emily: What if Charlie’s right?
William: Charlie’s never right. He’s6)functionally 7)retarded.
Emily: I am worried New York’s gonna change you.
William: Change can be good.
Emily: If we change together.
William: So, we’ll change together. OK? It’s two months in New York. I’ll be back before you know it. Besides, we have a plan, right?
Charlie: The other thing I can’t believe is that you’d risk leaving Emily here with me. (Turns to Emily) ’Cause I gotta tell you, I’ve always had a thing for you...And I have absolutely no 8)scruples.
Emily: I love you, William Hayes.(Car horn honking) OK. Go, go, go. Go be your brilliant self.
Maya: Emily sounds like she would make a good mom. I just don’t know if she’s my mom.
William: Why not?
Maya: Everyone knows that the girlfriend in the beginning of the story always gets 9)dumped.
很久很久以前，在电邮、手机与真人秀出现之前，确切来说是1992年，在威斯康星州的一个叫麦迪逊的小镇住着位名叫威廉·海斯的青年，这名青年深爱着他的大学女友，就叫她……
玛雅：埃米莉！
威廉：埃米莉！埃米莉！
埃米莉：嘿！
威廉：嗨！
全体：10、9、8……
威廉：嘿，猜猜再过4秒后，谁会是全世界最幸运的人？
埃米莉：你！
全体：……2、1！新年快乐！
威廉：噢，他们是天作之合。除了要真正了解这青年最后为何娶了你母亲，你还必须要先知道，他怀着一个既伟大，又令人难为情的梦想。
（对着镜子）请起立！向美国总统威廉·马修·海斯致敬。
埃米莉：我只是，我不懂你为何要在纽约帮克林顿做事，你为何不能就在麦迪逊替他工作呢？
威廉：因为他们不需要我在这儿，他们需要我去纽约。
查理：他们需要他，小埃，威尔就是他们的最佳人选。我不敢相信你让他去。你没听说过纽约的女孩子吗？除了外形超辣之外，她们对性都很随意，对此我可是非常赞同。（查理被关在门外）
埃米莉：万一给查理说中了呢？
威廉：查理从来没对过，他是个智障。
埃米莉：我很担心纽约会改变你。
威廉：改变也可能是好的。
埃米莉：如果我们一起改变才好。
威廉：那我们就一起改变啊，好吗？不过就去纽约两个月，你都还没回过神来我就回来了。况且，我们是有计划的，对吗？
查理：另一件事让我不敢相信的是，你竟然敢把埃米莉跟我留在这，我得告诉你。（转向埃米莉）我一直对你有好感……况且我完全不会有半点犹豫。
埃米莉：我爱你，威廉·海斯。（车喇叭响起）好吧，快走快走，好好表现自己。
玛雅：埃米莉听来像是个好妈妈，我只是不确定她是不是我妈。
威廉：为什么？
玛雅：大家都知道在故事最初的女朋友一定会被甩。
Scene 2
“流浪几张双人床，换过几次信仰，才让戒指义无反顾的交换”
(At the New York office, William meets a copy girl, April, who has no interest in politics. They become friends undesignedly on April’s lonely birthday…)
April: So Emily is what, like, your college sweetheart?
William: It’s amazing how you do that.
April: What?
William: The way you take the simplest 10)statement, and then you twist it with a completely 11)negative 12)connotation. It’s really, actually, impressive. I’m amazed.
April: I didn’t mean to do that.
William: But I understand.
April: I actually think it’s very sweet.
William:I get it. See, you did it again.
April: Really?
William:Yeah.
April: I don’t even know I’m doing it.
William: It’s probably hard for you to imagine a relationship based on 13)mutual respect without even the slightest hint of whatever you call it,14)masochism.
April: Well, if your deal with Emily is so 15)gosh darn wonderful, then why don’t you just marry her? What’s stopping you?
William: Nothing. (Brings out a ring)
April: Wow.
Maya: Wow.
William: She gets it tomorrow. I made a 16)reservation at some fancy French restaurant on the Upper East Side.
April: Oh, my God. You’re doing it in front of a room full of strangers?
William: Yeah, I am. What’s wrong with that?
April: No, nothing. I think it shows confidence. What are you gonna say?
William: I’m still working on it. I don’t know.
April: Oh, you should work on it with me. You should practice with me. I’m really good at that. I will be Emily. I’m Emily, your college sweetheart. Is there something you wanted to ask me?
William: Emily...
April: Wait! You gotta 17)get down on your knee.
William: No, I’m not getting down on my knee.
April: She’ll like it. She’ll like seeing you down on your knee.
William: I’m not getting down on my knee.
April: Such a mistake. OK.
William: Emily.
April: Yes, William.
William: Don’t make me laugh. Emily, will you, um, marry me?
April: No.
William: Oh, my God.
April: Well, what do you mean, “Will you, um, marry me?” I haven’t seen you in weeks! You don’t look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You’re asking me to give up my freedom, my 18)joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you, anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some 19)bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society 20)embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist21)agenda?
William: Oh! (Chuckling) Oh, my God!
April: You should’ve got on your knee!
William: Just shut up! Here. I wanna marry you because you’re the first person that I want to look at when I wake up in the morning and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn’t imagine not being able to hold them. But mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do. So will you...um...marry me?
April: Definitely, maybe. I have to think about it.
Maya: Anybody else?
William: I was too busy. I was too busy working on the campaign. Anyway, when Clinton got elected, Russell and I started our own consulting firm, and we worked on campaigns for everybody. City 22)council, state 23)senate. We even did one for the local dog catcher.
Maya: That’s very interesting, Dad, but what about girlfriends? What about Mom?
William: Well, I started dating again. But nothing serious.
Maya: What about April? What happened to her?
William: Well, a week after 24)Kurt Cobain died, she broke up with her boyfriend. She went traveling. She traveled all over the world, just like she always dreamed of doing. And she says that it was because of something that I said to her on her birthday. Anyway, we started writing postcards.We started writing letters. And before I knew it, even though we were separated by entire worlds, we became great friends.
（威廉在办公室遇到了一个对政治一点兴趣和好感都没有的女孩埃普丽尔。在她孤单的生日里，无意中他俩成了朋友……）
埃普丽尔：那么埃米莉是……你的大学甜心？
威廉：你真厉害。
埃普丽尔：什么？
威廉：你可以将一句很简单的话扭曲成一个完全变了味的意思，真的很厉害，我很佩服。
埃普丽尔：我不是有意的。
威廉：但我懂了。
埃普丽尔：其实我觉得那很感人。
威廉：我懂了。看，你又来了。
埃普丽尔：真的？
威廉：嗯。
埃普丽尔：我自己都没察觉。
威廉：你或许很难想像一段基于互相尊重的恋情而丝毫没有你所谓的被虐倾向。
埃普丽尔：你与埃米莉的关系若真像你说的那么完美，你为什么不娶她呢？什么阻止了你？
威廉：没有啊。（亮出一枚戒指）
埃普丽尔：哗。
玛雅：哗。
威廉：她明天就会收到了。我在上东区一家很高档的法国餐厅订了位。
埃普丽尔：噢，我的天啊，你要在满屋子不认识的人面前求婚？
威廉：是啊，有什么不妥吗？
埃普丽尔：没有，这表示你很有自信。到时你要怎么说？
威廉：我还在想，不知道。
埃普丽尔：噢，你应该和我练习。你该跟我演习一遍。我在这方面很厉害，我来演埃米莉，我是你的大学女友埃米莉。你有什么要问我的吗？
威廉：埃米莉……
埃普丽尔：等等！你要跪下来。
威廉：不，我才不要跪下。
埃普丽尔：她会喜欢的，她会希望你跪下。
威廉：我不要跪下。
埃普丽尔：那真是大错特错了，也罢。
威廉：埃米莉。
埃普丽尔：什么事，威廉。
威廉：别惹我笑。埃米莉，你愿意，呃，嫁给我吗？
埃普丽尔：不。
威廉：噢，我的天。
埃普丽尔：什么叫做“你愿意，呃，嫁给我吗？”我好几个礼拜没见到你了！看来你对我们的婚姻前景一点都不开心与兴奋！你要我为了一个成功与失败率参半的制度放弃我的自由、我快乐无忧的生活？我为什么要嫁给你？你又为什么想要娶我呢？除了为了那中产阶级的欲望，以满足这个社会从小就灌输在我们心中的消费资本主义进程？
威廉：噢！（咯咯轻笑）我的天啊！
埃普丽尔：你早该跪下的。
威廉：闭嘴啦！这样，我想娶你，是因为你是我一早起来，第一眼就想要见到的人，并是我每晚睡前唯一想要吻的人。因为当我第一次看到那双手时，我就无法想象不能牵着它们过日子。但最重要的，当你如此深爱一个人，像我爱你一样，唯一能做的就是结婚。那么，你愿意，呃，嫁给我吗？
埃普丽尔：肯定，或许。我得考虑一下。
玛雅：还有其他人吗？
威廉：我太忙了，为了竞选忙得要死。总之，克林顿当选后，罗素与我成立了一家顾问公司。我们协助各色人等进行竞选，市议员、州参议员，甚至替当地管狗的也做过一次。
玛雅：很有趣，爸，但那些女友呢？妈呢？
威廉：我又开始约会，但都没有当真的。
玛雅：埃普丽尔呢？她怎么样了？
威廉：嗯，柯特·科本去世一周后，她与男友分手了，她去了旅行，环游世界，正如她所梦想的那样。她说是因为我在她生日时跟她说过的话。反正，我们开始互写明信片，开始通信，不知不觉中，虽然天各一方，我们成了好朋友。
Scene 3
“熬过了多久患难，湿了多长眼眶，才能知道伤感是爱的遗产”
(William buys a diamond ring for Summer when April comes back suddenly.)
William: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why are you so upset?
April: Don’t you think it’s a little weird we’ve been writing each other for however long and somehow you25)neglect to tell me that, A, you’ve fallen in love, and, B, you’ve fallen in love!
William: I told you I was dating someone.
April: Dating someone.You just bought a diamond 26)engagement ring for someone!
William: I’m sorry. I think I was just nervous to tell you.
April: Why would you be nervous to tell me?
William: I don’t know. I love this girl so much. I’d just really like you to be happy for me.
April: I can be happy for you. Of course I can be happy for you.
Maya: Poor April. She’s like the character in the story who’s always been the friend. Then she realized she doesn’t just want to be the friend. She wants to be the girlfriend, except it’s too late.
William: What do you mean?
Maya: Weren’t you listening? She came home for you.
（当埃普丽尔突然回国时，威廉正在购买送给夏曼的钻石戒指。）
威廉：等等，等等，你为什么这么生气？
埃普丽尔：你不觉得在我们通了这么久的信后, 你竟然没跟我透露, 一、你恋爱了，二、你居然恋爱了！
威廉：我跟你说过我在约会。
埃普丽尔：约会？！你刚刚为人家买了钻石订婚戒指！
威廉：很抱歉，我对于要跟你说感到紧张。
埃普丽尔：为什么跟我说会让你紧张？
威廉：我不知道，我非常爱这女孩，我很希望你能替我感到高兴。
埃普丽尔：我替你感到高兴，我当然替你感到高兴。
玛雅：可怜的埃普丽尔。她就像是那些故事里永远是朋友的那个角色，然后发现她不想只做朋友，她其实想当女朋友，但是太迟了。
威廉：什么意思？
玛雅：你没在听吗？她为了你回来。
Scene 4
“把一个人的温暖，转移到另一个的胸膛，让上次犯的错反省出梦想”
(Putting herself first, Summer breaks William’s dreams of love and career at the same time.)
William: So I lost my girl, I lost my job, and I lost my friend. And for a long time, nothing seemed to matter. But I wasn’t the only one with problems.
Bill Clinton(From TV):I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie.
William: Hello?
April: Are you watching?
Bill Clinton: These 27)allegations are false.
William: April?
April: Yeah, April. Who’d you think it was? Are you watching or not?
William: Of course I’m watching. You think he did it, don’t you?
April: I don’t think, I know. Look at the picture of her. I love her. She’s so his type.
William: So, what took you so long to finally call me back there? I thought I lost you. Feels like years.
April: I’m calling you now, aren’t I?
William: Yeah. How are you? What’s doing?
April: I got a new roommate, Olivia. And I’m working at a bookstore. But I’ve been thinking about going back to school.
William: Cool. Hey, did I tell you that I hate my job? I used to love what I do, and now I feel like a complete 28)hack.
April: Are you 29)seeing anyone?
William: Me? Am I... No, no. Absolutely not.
April: Hey, maybe you should follow his lead and seduce an 30)intern.
William: You know, it’s funny that you should mention that. There’s a 31)fetching young intern who just started a week ago.
April: Great. Ask her out.
William: I should, shouldn’t I? But I don’t think I will. You see, I don’t want a 32)fling. I want the real deal.
April: Forget about the real deal. You don’t find it, it finds you.
William: What does that mean? I don’t know what that means.
April: It means that you get to a certain age and then you’re ready. You know, you’re ready for kids or a 33)commitment or, you know...a34)mortgage. You know what I mean? And the person that you’re with then, they become the one.
William: So you’re saying it’s not who, but it’s when.
April: Exactly.
（自我的夏曼让威廉的爱情和事业梦想在同一时间幻灭。）
威廉：我失去了女友、工作、朋友。有好长一段时间，一切仿佛都不重要。但世上有问题的不只我一人。
比尔·克林顿（电视中）：我与那位女士，莱温斯基小姐之间没有性关系。我从未要求别人撒谎。
威廉：喂？
埃普丽尔：你在看吗？
比尔·克林顿：这些指控都是诬告。
威廉：埃普丽尔？
埃普丽尔：嗯，是埃普丽尔。你以为是谁？你到底有没有在看？
威廉：当然在看。你觉得他做了吧？
埃普丽尔：我不用觉得，我就知道。你看她的照片，我喜欢她，她就是他所喜欢的类型。
威廉：你为什么这么久才回我电话？我还以为我和你失去联系了，感觉好像好几年没见了。
埃普丽尔：我现在不是打给你了吗？
威廉：是啊，你好吗？都在做些什么？
埃普丽尔：我有了一个新室友，叫奥莉维亚。我在书店做事，但我一直在想要不要回去念书。
威廉：酷。嘿，我有告诉过你我痛恨我的工作吗？我以前好爱我所干的工作，但我现在觉得自己完全像个为钱写稿的人。
埃普丽尔：你交女朋友了吗？
威廉：我？我交……不不，完全没有。
埃普丽尔：嘿，或许你该学学他去勾引实习生。
威廉：你提到这还真巧。上礼拜才来了个很正的年轻实习生。
埃普丽尔：很好，约她出去啊。
威廉：我确实应该，不是吗？但我想我不会了。你知道的，我不想只是玩玩，我要的是真爱。
埃普丽尔：别管什么真爱了，真爱由不得你去找它，它自己会找上门。
威廉：什么意思？我不懂这其中的意思。
埃普丽尔：意思就是等你到了一定年纪便自然而然准备好了，就是你准备好生孩子或是做出承诺，或者是，你知道……背房贷。懂吗？到时跟你在一起的人就是你的真爱。
威廉：你的意思是这并不是人的问题，而是时机咯？
埃普丽尔：正是。
Scene 5
“你不要失望，荡气回肠是为了最美的平凡”
(William had been looking forApril’s lost book, which was the last birthday present from her father.)
Bookstore Keeper: Jane Eyre, Random House. 1943. It’s a beautiful edition, known for the cover 35)illustration. But there’s a really nice 36)dedication inside, with a quote from the book. “To my darling daughter, April. ‘The human heart has hidden treasures. In secret kept, in silence sealed...’”
William: “‘…In silence sealed. The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures whose charms were broken if revealed.’ From your loving father.”
（威廉一直都在帮埃普丽尔寻找那本遗失的书，那书是她父亲去世前送给她的生日礼物。）
书店老板：《简·爱》，1943年，蓝登书屋出版。这个版本很漂亮，以美丽的插画封面著称。但里面的题词很美，是书中的句子：“给我亲爱的女儿，埃普丽尔：‘人类的心灵充满着隐藏的宝藏，在未说的秘密与未打破的沉默中……’”
威廉：“‘……未打破的沉默中。那些想法、希望、梦想、快乐，其魔力将因透露而破解。’爱你的父亲赠。”
Scene 6
“爱情不停站，想开往地老天荒，需要多勇敢”
Maya: How come you changed all the names except hers?
William: What do you mean?
Maya: In the story, you know, like Mom became Emily, and Summer’s that Natasha lady who writes for that magazine. But you didn’t change April’s name. Why?
William: Why are you so concerned with all of this anyway?
Maya: Because I want you to be happy.
William: You know, I’m happy.
Maya: Trust me, Dad, you’re not happy.
William: Put your coat on.
William: Taxi!
Maya: Taxi!
玛雅：为什么除了她之外其他人都用化名？
威廉：什么意思？
玛雅：故事里妈妈成了埃米莉，夏曼就是帮杂志社写报道，那个叫娜塔莎的女人。但你没有换埃普丽尔的名字，为什么？
威廉：你为什么对这一切那么感兴趣？
玛雅：因为我希望你快乐。
威廉：你知道，我很快乐。
玛雅：相信我，爸，你不快乐。
威廉：去穿大衣。
威廉：计程车。
玛雅：计程车。
翻译：立及夕
你不能在事业的上升期遇到爱情，对方会觉得你更关注自己的事业——正如威廉第一次向埃米莉求婚时；你不能在事业的低谷遇到爱情，对方会觉得你在拿自己当慰籍品——正如威廉在埃普丽尔家门口表白时。
所谓真爱，并不是who的问题，而是when的问题。
Plot:
威廉离婚后，经不住女儿玛雅的再三要求，讲述起关于自己的三段爱情经历：
威尔暂别大学女友埃米莉独自来到纽约发展自己的事业，成为协助克林顿竞选总统的竞选战团中的一员。后来威尔跟战团中的打杂女孩埃普丽尔、新闻记者夏曼发展出若有还无的感情。即使到后来威廉在纽约站稳了脚，有了自己的公司，他还是无法走出这三个完全不同的女人的萦绕……
Maya: I think you should tell me the story of you and my mom.
William: Why do you keep saying “my mom” like I’ve never met her?
Maya: Well, because now that you’re getting divorced, she’s mine, not yours.
William: Is that so?
Maya: Tell me how it happened. And the real story, not the, “Oh, we met, we fell in love, and we decided to take all that love and make a family, and that’s how we made you.”
William: You know something? I’m gonna tell you the real, true story of how me and your mother met.
Maya: When I’m old enough.
William: Yep.
Maya: Look, I know love isn’t a fairytale.
William: Really?
Maya: Really. Did you have another girlfriend before you met her? Come on, tell me the truth.
William: (Sighs) I had two serious girlfriends. And then some other... 1)smattering of other women that I dated. What?
Maya: What’s the boy word for 2)slut?
William: They still haven’t come up with one yet, but I’m sure they’re working on it.
Maya:You still have to tell me the story of why you fell in love with her.
William: I fell in love with her because she was smart and beautiful and fun.
Maya: So now she’s stupid and ugly and boring?
William: Of course not.
Maya: Then what’s the problem?
William: It’s complicated, Maya.
Maya: Everything with you is so complicated. I bet that if you just told me the story, you’d realize that it’s not complicated at all, that you just love her.
William: I know this is tough for you, but what are you thinking? That I’m gonna tell you this story and it’s gonna make everything better? It doesn’t work that way.
Maya: Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. Tell me and we’ll find out.
William: No. Game over. It’s time for bed.
Maya: No, it’s not time for bed! It’s time for you to tell me the story!
William: Maya.
Maya: I need to know! (Changes into begging voice) I need to know.
William: Fine! Fine! I’m gonna tell you the story, but I’m not telling you who your mom is.
Maya: Fine.
William: You’re just gonna have to 3)figure it out for yourself.
Maya: Good.
William: And I’m changing all the names and some of the facts, but I just decided that right now. And then we’ll see how smart you are.
Maya: I like it. It’s like a love story mystery.
William: Great. Sounds good. You ready?
玛雅：我想你该告诉我你与我妈的故事了。
威廉：你为什么一直称她为“我妈”？好像我从未见过她似的。
玛雅：这个，因为你们要离婚了，所以她是我的，不是你的。
威廉：是这样吗？
玛雅：告诉我这事是怎样发生的，你们的真实故事，不是什么“噢，我们相遇并相恋了，然后决定用我们的爱建立一个家庭，并因此生下了你”那样的话。
威廉：你知道吗？我将会告诉你我跟你妈相识的来龙去脉。
玛雅：等我长大时。
威廉：没错。
玛雅：你瞧，我知道爱情并非童话。
威廉：真的吗？
玛雅：真的。你在认识她之前有别的女友吗？拜托，跟我说实情。
威廉：（叹气）我曾有过两个正式的女友。还有一些随便交往过的女人。怎么了？
玛雅：“荡妇”的男生对应词是什么？
威廉：还没有人想到那词，但我相信有人正在努力中。
玛雅：你还是得告诉我你为何爱上她。
威廉：我爱上她是因为她很聪明、漂亮又风趣。
玛雅：那她现在又蠢又丑又无聊了吗？
威廉：当然不是。
玛雅：那问题出在哪儿？
威廉：很复杂，玛雅。
玛雅：你什么事都很复杂。我打赌若是你跟我说了那故事后，你就不会觉得一切都如此复杂了。你就是爱她。
威廉：我知道这事对你来说很难以接受，但你在想什么？你以为故事说完后一切都会好转了吗？这行不通的。
玛雅：也许可以，也许不行。跟我讲了后我们就知道了。
威廉：不，游戏结束了，该睡觉了。
玛雅：不，现在不是睡觉的时候，是你该跟我说这故事的时候。
威廉：玛雅。
玛雅：我就要知道！（转为哀求的语气）我需要知道。
威廉：好啦！好啦！我告诉你就是了，但我不会告诉你里面哪个是你妈。
玛雅：好。
威廉：你得自己弄清楚。
玛雅：好。
威廉：而且我还会用化名，并改变一些细节，不过这是我现在才想到的。然后我们再来看看你有多聪明。
玛雅：我喜欢，像是爱情悬疑故事。
威廉：很好，听起来不错，准备好了吗？
Scene 1
“徘徊过多少橱窗，住过多少旅馆，才会觉得分离也并不冤枉”
Once upon a time, before e-mails and cell phones and 4)reality television shows, in 1992 to be exact, in a little town called Madison, Wisconsin, there lived a young man named William Hayes. Now, this young man was deeply, deeply in love with his college sweetheart. Let’s call her...
Maya: Emily!
William: Emily! Emily!
Emily: Hey.
William: Hi.
All: Ten, nine, eight...
William: Hey, guess who’s gonna be the luckiest guy on planet Earth in...oh...four seconds?
Emily: You.
All: ...two, one! Happy New Year!
William: Oh, they were a perfect couple. Except to really understand how this young man ended up marrying your mother, you’ll also need to know that he had a very big, 5)incredibly embarrassing dream.
(To the mirror)All rise for the President of the United States of America, William Matthew Hayes.
Emily: I’m just, I don’t understand why you have to work for Clinton in New York. Why can’t you just work for him in Madison?
William: Well, because they don’t need me here. They need me in New York.
Charlie: They need him, Em. Will’s the man. I can’t believe you’re letting him go. I mean, don’t you know about New York girls? Besides being incredibly hot, they have no problem with casual sex, which by the way, I totally respect. (Charlie is locked out)
Emily: What if Charlie’s right?
William: Charlie’s never right. He’s6)functionally 7)retarded.
Emily: I am worried New York’s gonna change you.
William: Change can be good.
Emily: If we change together.
William: So, we’ll change together. OK? It’s two months in New York. I’ll be back before you know it. Besides, we have a plan, right?
Charlie: The other thing I can’t believe is that you’d risk leaving Emily here with me. (Turns to Emily) ’Cause I gotta tell you, I’ve always had a thing for you...And I have absolutely no 8)scruples.
Emily: I love you, William Hayes.(Car horn honking) OK. Go, go, go. Go be your brilliant self.
Maya: Emily sounds like she would make a good mom. I just don’t know if she’s my mom.
William: Why not?
Maya: Everyone knows that the girlfriend in the beginning of the story always gets 9)dumped.
很久很久以前，在电邮、手机与真人秀出现之前，确切来说是1992年，在威斯康星州的一个叫麦迪逊的小镇住着位名叫威廉·海斯的青年，这名青年深爱着他的大学女友，就叫她……
玛雅：埃米莉！
威廉：埃米莉！埃米莉！
埃米莉：嘿！
威廉：嗨！
全体：10、9、8……
威廉：嘿，猜猜再过4秒后，谁会是全世界最幸运的人？
埃米莉：你！
全体：……2、1！新年快乐！
威廉：噢，他们是天作之合。除了要真正了解这青年最后为何娶了你母亲，你还必须要先知道，他怀着一个既伟大，又令人难为情的梦想。
（对着镜子）请起立！向美国总统威廉·马修·海斯致敬。
埃米莉：我只是，我不懂你为何要在纽约帮克林顿做事，你为何不能就在麦迪逊替他工作呢？
威廉：因为他们不需要我在这儿，他们需要我去纽约。
查理：他们需要他，小埃，威尔就是他们的最佳人选。我不敢相信你让他去。你没听说过纽约的女孩子吗？除了外形超辣之外，她们对性都很随意，对此我可是非常赞同。（查理被关在门外）
埃米莉：万一给查理说中了呢？
威廉：查理从来没对过，他是个智障。
埃米莉：我很担心纽约会改变你。
威廉：改变也可能是好的。
埃米莉：如果我们一起改变才好。
威廉：那我们就一起改变啊，好吗？不过就去纽约两个月，你都还没回过神来我就回来了。况且，我们是有计划的，对吗？
查理：另一件事让我不敢相信的是，你竟然敢把埃米莉跟我留在这，我得告诉你。（转向埃米莉）我一直对你有好感……况且我完全不会有半点犹豫。
埃米莉：我爱你，威廉·海斯。（车喇叭响起）好吧，快走快走，好好表现自己。
玛雅：埃米莉听来像是个好妈妈，我只是不确定她是不是我妈。
威廉：为什么？
玛雅：大家都知道在故事最初的女朋友一定会被甩。
Scene 2
“流浪几张双人床，换过几次信仰，才让戒指义无反顾的交换”
(At the New York office, William meets a copy girl, April, who has no interest in politics. They become friends undesignedly on April’s lonely birthday…)
April: So Emily is what, like, your college sweetheart?
William: It’s amazing how you do that.
April: What?
William: The way you take the simplest 10)statement, and then you twist it with a completely 11)negative 12)connotation. It’s really, actually, impressive. I’m amazed.
April: I didn’t mean to do that.
William: But I understand.
April: I actually think it’s very sweet.
William:I get it. See, you did it again.
April: Really?
William:Yeah.
April: I don’t even know I’m doing it.
William: It’s probably hard for you to imagine a relationship based on 13)mutual respect without even the slightest hint of whatever you call it,14)masochism.
April: Well, if your deal with Emily is so 15)gosh darn wonderful, then why don’t you just marry her? What’s stopping you?
William: Nothing. (Brings out a ring)
April: Wow.
Maya: Wow.
William: She gets it tomorrow. I made a 16)reservation at some fancy French restaurant on the Upper East Side.
April: Oh, my God. You’re doing it in front of a room full of strangers?
William: Yeah, I am. What’s wrong with that?
April: No, nothing. I think it shows confidence. What are you gonna say?
William: I’m still working on it. I don’t know.
April: Oh, you should work on it with me. You should practice with me. I’m really good at that. I will be Emily. I’m Emily, your college sweetheart. Is there something you wanted to ask me?
William: Emily...
April: Wait! You gotta 17)get down on your knee.
William: No, I’m not getting down on my knee.
April: She’ll like it. She’ll like seeing you down on your knee.
William: I’m not getting down on my knee.
April: Such a mistake. OK.
William: Emily.
April: Yes, William.
William: Don’t make me laugh. Emily, will you, um, marry me?
April: No.
William: Oh, my God.
April: Well, what do you mean, “Will you, um, marry me?” I haven’t seen you in weeks! You don’t look happy or excited about the prospect of our marriage! You’re asking me to give up my freedom, my 18)joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you, anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some 19)bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society 20)embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist21)agenda?
William: Oh! (Chuckling) Oh, my God!
April: You should’ve got on your knee!
William: Just shut up! Here. I wanna marry you because you’re the first person that I want to look at when I wake up in the morning and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn’t imagine not being able to hold them. But mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do. So will you...um...marry me?
April: Definitely, maybe. I have to think about it.
Maya: Anybody else?
William: I was too busy. I was too busy working on the campaign. Anyway, when Clinton got elected, Russell and I started our own consulting firm, and we worked on campaigns for everybody. City 22)council, state 23)senate. We even did one for the local dog catcher.
Maya: That’s very interesting, Dad, but what about girlfriends? What about Mom?
William: Well, I started dating again. But nothing serious.
Maya: What about April? What happened to her?
William: Well, a week after 24)Kurt Cobain died, she broke up with her boyfriend. She went traveling. She traveled all over the world, just like she always dreamed of doing. And she says that it was because of something that I said to her on her birthday. Anyway, we started writing postcards.We started writing letters. And before I knew it, even though we were separated by entire worlds, we became great friends.
（威廉在办公室遇到了一个对政治一点兴趣和好感都没有的女孩埃普丽尔。在她孤单的生日里，无意中他俩成了朋友……）
埃普丽尔：那么埃米莉是……你的大学甜心？
威廉：你真厉害。
埃普丽尔：什么？
威廉：你可以将一句很简单的话扭曲成一个完全变了味的意思，真的很厉害，我很佩服。
埃普丽尔：我不是有意的。
威廉：但我懂了。
埃普丽尔：其实我觉得那很感人。
威廉：我懂了。看，你又来了。
埃普丽尔：真的？
威廉：嗯。
埃普丽尔：我自己都没察觉。
威廉：你或许很难想像一段基于互相尊重的恋情而丝毫没有你所谓的被虐倾向。
埃普丽尔：你与埃米莉的关系若真像你说的那么完美，你为什么不娶她呢？什么阻止了你？
威廉：没有啊。（亮出一枚戒指）
埃普丽尔：哗。
玛雅：哗。
威廉：她明天就会收到了。我在上东区一家很高档的法国餐厅订了位。
埃普丽尔：噢，我的天啊，你要在满屋子不认识的人面前求婚？
威廉：是啊，有什么不妥吗？
埃普丽尔：没有，这表示你很有自信。到时你要怎么说？
威廉：我还在想，不知道。
埃普丽尔：噢，你应该和我练习。你该跟我演习一遍。我在这方面很厉害，我来演埃米莉，我是你的大学女友埃米莉。你有什么要问我的吗？
威廉：埃米莉……
埃普丽尔：等等！你要跪下来。
威廉：不，我才不要跪下。
埃普丽尔：她会喜欢的，她会希望你跪下。
威廉：我不要跪下。
埃普丽尔：那真是大错特错了，也罢。
威廉：埃米莉。
埃普丽尔：什么事，威廉。
威廉：别惹我笑。埃米莉，你愿意，呃，嫁给我吗？
埃普丽尔：不。
威廉：噢，我的天。
埃普丽尔：什么叫做“你愿意，呃，嫁给我吗？”我好几个礼拜没见到你了！看来你对我们的婚姻前景一点都不开心与兴奋！你要我为了一个成功与失败率参半的制度放弃我的自由、我快乐无忧的生活？我为什么要嫁给你？你又为什么想要娶我呢？除了为了那中产阶级的欲望，以满足这个社会从小就灌输在我们心中的消费资本主义进程？
威廉：噢！（咯咯轻笑）我的天啊！
埃普丽尔：你早该跪下的。
威廉：闭嘴啦！这样，我想娶你，是因为你是我一早起来，第一眼就想要见到的人，并是我每晚睡前唯一想要吻的人。因为当我第一次看到那双手时，我就无法想象不能牵着它们过日子。但最重要的，当你如此深爱一个人，像我爱你一样，唯一能做的就是结婚。那么，你愿意，呃，嫁给我吗？
埃普丽尔：肯定，或许。我得考虑一下。
玛雅：还有其他人吗？
威廉：我太忙了，为了竞选忙得要死。总之，克林顿当选后，罗素与我成立了一家顾问公司。我们协助各色人等进行竞选，市议员、州参议员，甚至替当地管狗的也做过一次。
玛雅：很有趣，爸，但那些女友呢？妈呢？
威廉：我又开始约会，但都没有当真的。
玛雅：埃普丽尔呢？她怎么样了？
威廉：嗯，柯特·科本去世一周后，她与男友分手了，她去了旅行，环游世界，正如她所梦想的那样。她说是因为我在她生日时跟她说过的话。反正，我们开始互写明信片，开始通信，不知不觉中，虽然天各一方，我们成了好朋友。
Scene 3
“熬过了多久患难，湿了多长眼眶，才能知道伤感是爱的遗产”
(William buys a diamond ring for Summer when April comes back suddenly.)
William: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why are you so upset?
April: Don’t you think it’s a little weird we’ve been writing each other for however long and somehow you25)neglect to tell me that, A, you’ve fallen in love, and, B, you’ve fallen in love!
William: I told you I was dating someone.
April: Dating someone.You just bought a diamond 26)engagement ring for someone!
William: I’m sorry. I think I was just nervous to tell you.
April: Why would you be nervous to tell me?
William: I don’t know. I love this girl so much. I’d just really like you to be happy for me.
April: I can be happy for you. Of course I can be happy for you.
Maya: Poor April. She’s like the character in the story who’s always been the friend. Then she realized she doesn’t just want to be the friend. She wants to be the girlfriend, except it’s too late.
William: What do you mean?
Maya: Weren’t you listening? She came home for you.
（当埃普丽尔突然回国时，威廉正在购买送给夏曼的钻石戒指。）
威廉：等等，等等，你为什么这么生气？
埃普丽尔：你不觉得在我们通了这么久的信后, 你竟然没跟我透露, 一、你恋爱了，二、你居然恋爱了！
威廉：我跟你说过我在约会。
埃普丽尔：约会？！你刚刚为人家买了钻石订婚戒指！
威廉：很抱歉，我对于要跟你说感到紧张。
埃普丽尔：为什么跟我说会让你紧张？
威廉：我不知道，我非常爱这女孩，我很希望你能替我感到高兴。
埃普丽尔：我替你感到高兴，我当然替你感到高兴。
玛雅：可怜的埃普丽尔。她就像是那些故事里永远是朋友的那个角色，然后发现她不想只做朋友，她其实想当女朋友，但是太迟了。
威廉：什么意思？
玛雅：你没在听吗？她为了你回来。
Scene 4
“把一个人的温暖，转移到另一个的胸膛，让上次犯的错反省出梦想”
(Putting herself first, Summer breaks William’s dreams of love and career at the same time.)
William: So I lost my girl, I lost my job, and I lost my friend. And for a long time, nothing seemed to matter. But I wasn’t the only one with problems.
Bill Clinton(From TV):I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie.
William: Hello?
April: Are you watching?
Bill Clinton: These 27)allegations are false.
William: April?
April: Yeah, April. Who’d you think it was? Are you watching or not?
William: Of course I’m watching. You think he did it, don’t you?
April: I don’t think, I know. Look at the picture of her. I love her. She’s so his type.
William: So, what took you so long to finally call me back there? I thought I lost you. Feels like years.
April: I’m calling you now, aren’t I?
William: Yeah. How are you? What’s doing?
April: I got a new roommate, Olivia. And I’m working at a bookstore. But I’ve been thinking about going back to school.
William: Cool. Hey, did I tell you that I hate my job? I used to love what I do, and now I feel like a complete 28)hack.
April: Are you 29)seeing anyone?
William: Me? Am I... No, no. Absolutely not.
April: Hey, maybe you should follow his lead and seduce an 30)intern.
William: You know, it’s funny that you should mention that. There’s a 31)fetching young intern who just started a week ago.
April: Great. Ask her out.
William: I should, shouldn’t I? But I don’t think I will. You see, I don’t want a 32)fling. I want the real deal.
April: Forget about the real deal. You don’t find it, it finds you.
William: What does that mean? I don’t know what that means.
April: It means that you get to a certain age and then you’re ready. You know, you’re ready for kids or a 33)commitment or, you know...a34)mortgage. You know what I mean? And the person that you’re with then, they become the one.
William: So you’re saying it’s not who, but it’s when.
April: Exactly.
（自我的夏曼让威廉的爱情和事业梦想在同一时间幻灭。）
威廉：我失去了女友、工作、朋友。有好长一段时间，一切仿佛都不重要。但世上有问题的不只我一人。
比尔·克林顿（电视中）：我与那位女士，莱温斯基小姐之间没有性关系。我从未要求别人撒谎。
威廉：喂？
埃普丽尔：你在看吗？
比尔·克林顿：这些指控都是诬告。
威廉：埃普丽尔？
埃普丽尔：嗯，是埃普丽尔。你以为是谁？你到底有没有在看？
威廉：当然在看。你觉得他做了吧？
埃普丽尔：我不用觉得，我就知道。你看她的照片，我喜欢她，她就是他所喜欢的类型。
威廉：你为什么这么久才回我电话？我还以为我和你失去联系了，感觉好像好几年没见了。
埃普丽尔：我现在不是打给你了吗？
威廉：是啊，你好吗？都在做些什么？
埃普丽尔：我有了一个新室友，叫奥莉维亚。我在书店做事，但我一直在想要不要回去念书。
威廉：酷。嘿，我有告诉过你我痛恨我的工作吗？我以前好爱我所干的工作，但我现在觉得自己完全像个为钱写稿的人。
埃普丽尔：你交女朋友了吗？
威廉：我？我交……不不，完全没有。
埃普丽尔：嘿，或许你该学学他去勾引实习生。
威廉：你提到这还真巧。上礼拜才来了个很正的年轻实习生。
埃普丽尔：很好，约她出去啊。
威廉：我确实应该，不是吗？但我想我不会了。你知道的，我不想只是玩玩，我要的是真爱。
埃普丽尔：别管什么真爱了，真爱由不得你去找它，它自己会找上门。
威廉：什么意思？我不懂这其中的意思。
埃普丽尔：意思就是等你到了一定年纪便自然而然准备好了，就是你准备好生孩子或是做出承诺，或者是，你知道……背房贷。懂吗？到时跟你在一起的人就是你的真爱。
威廉：你的意思是这并不是人的问题，而是时机咯？
埃普丽尔：正是。
Scene 5
“你不要失望，荡气回肠是为了最美的平凡”
(William had been looking forApril’s lost book, which was the last birthday present from her father.)
Bookstore Keeper: Jane Eyre, Random House. 1943. It’s a beautiful edition, known for the cover 35)illustration. But there’s a really nice 36)dedication inside, with a quote from the book. “To my darling daughter, April. ‘The human heart has hidden treasures. In secret kept, in silence sealed...’”
William: “‘…In silence sealed. The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures whose charms were broken if revealed.’ From your loving father.”
（威廉一直都在帮埃普丽尔寻找那本遗失的书，那书是她父亲去世前送给她的生日礼物。）
书店老板：《简·爱》，1943年，蓝登书屋出版。这个版本很漂亮，以美丽的插画封面著称。但里面的题词很美，是书中的句子：“给我亲爱的女儿，埃普丽尔：‘人类的心灵充满着隐藏的宝藏，在未说的秘密与未打破的沉默中……’”
威廉：“‘……未打破的沉默中。那些想法、希望、梦想、快乐，其魔力将因透露而破解。’爱你的父亲赠。”
Scene 6
“爱情不停站，想开往地老天荒，需要多勇敢”
Maya: How come you changed all the names except hers?
William: What do you mean?
Maya: In the story, you know, like Mom became Emily, and Summer’s that Natasha lady who writes for that magazine. But you didn’t change April’s name. Why?
William: Why are you so concerned with all of this anyway?
Maya: Because I want you to be happy.
William: You know, I’m happy.
Maya: Trust me, Dad, you’re not happy.
William: Put your coat on.
William: Taxi!
Maya: Taxi!
玛雅：为什么除了她之外其他人都用化名？
威廉：什么意思？
玛雅：故事里妈妈成了埃米莉，夏曼就是帮杂志社写报道，那个叫娜塔莎的女人。但你没有换埃普丽尔的名字，为什么？
威廉：你为什么对这一切那么感兴趣？
玛雅：因为我希望你快乐。
威廉：你知道，我很快乐。
玛雅：相信我，爸，你不快乐。
威廉：去穿大衣。
威廉：计程车。
玛雅：计程车。
翻译：立及夕