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有时候我们以为自己正在爱那个人,但实际爱上的却是自己的幻象。一见钟情时,我们往往爱上的是想象中的完美爱人,而不是那个现实中一见钟情的对象。我们幻想他是忠诚的,是得体的,是有智慧的,幻想他有一切美好的特质,具备所有我们希望他具备的东西。如果此时别人不识时务地指出他不是我们以为的那个样子,那么我们就会选择听不见、看不见。想要找一位能够无底限地包容和保护自己的伴侣,其实是想要给自己找个父亲或母亲,因为只有溺爱孩子的爸爸妈妈才能做到那样。退回到孩子的状态,放弃照顾自己的责任,甚至放弃独立思考的能力,对于一些人来说有着无比的吸引力。
Sometimes we think we are in love with that person, but actually we are in love with their own illusion. At first sight, we often fall in love with the perfect lover of imagination, not the object of love at first sight in reality. We fantasize that he is loyal, is decent, wise, and that he has all the good qualities and all that we want him to possess. If at this time people do not know when he pointed out that he is not what we think, then we will choose to hear, can not see. Wanting to find a partner who can tolerate and protect her without any limitations is actually trying to find a father or mother for her because only dummies who dare to love their children can do that. Returning to the child’s state, giving up the responsibility to take care of yourself, and even giving up the ability to think independently, is very appealing to some people.