构思奇特,雾里看花。用“菊花茶”“香”和“苦”的双重属性比喻复杂的感情,喻体独特且同本体有相似点。“他”的性别很鲜明,而“我”的性别隐去——文笔因“模糊”而美。“偷偷啜了一口”中“偷偷”,似有所泄露——如果实指“啜茗”,不会缀上“偷偷”二字。结尾时,将“加了泪的苦茶”倒掉了,但是“手中的杯,还在滴水”——蕴含“日后从感情上战胜自己的路还很长”!此文还需要升格:将“很苦”二字展开写,多角度多层面将“苦的感觉”写出来,使文末“走进洗手间,把杯中水倒入池中”的行动,有扎实的思想基础。 Odd ideas, watching flowers in the fog. Using the dual properties of “chrysanthemum tea”, “sweetness” and “bitterness”, the complex feelings are metaphorized. The vehicle is unique and similar to the ontology. The gender of “he” is very clear, and the gender of “I” is hidden - the writing is beautiful because of “fuzziness”. “Sneaking” in “Sneaking a Sip” seems to have leaked something—if you really mean “squeaking,” you will not be stigmatized as “sneaking”. At the end, the “tea with tears” was lost, but “the cup in the hand is still dripping” - it contains “a long way to emotionally overcome oneself in the future.” This article also needs upgrading: “Bitter” began to write, and the multi-angled and multi-faceted writing of “feeling of bitterness” made the text “walk into the bathroom and pour the cup of water into the pool” with a solid ideological foundation.