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试题 现在的节日种类繁多,传统节日如春节、端午节、中秋节等等;洋节日如圣诞节、感恩节、愚人节等等。请你以My Favorite Festival 为题,写一篇120词左右的短文,简单介绍这个节日,并说明你喜欢的原因。
点拨 此文属于开放性短文,没有给出太多的条条框框,这有利于同学们自由发挥。话题与我们的现实生活息息相关,如果审题得当,思路清晰,并有一定的语言素质,是能写出非常优秀的短文的。否则就会陷入无话可说,条理不清的困境。
根据题目要求可知,此短文应该由三部分组成:第一部分为短文的背景介绍,并引出你所喜欢的节日,这一部分篇幅应该小,而题目中所列举的节日只是介绍,也无需写出来;第二部分简单介绍你最喜欢的节日;第三部分说明你喜欢的原因,这一部分是本文的重点,应该写出几个喜欢的理由。
【习作一】
Everybody is eager to celebrate a festival. I think the reason may be the people today are under great pressure for they want to keep high paces of modern society. So when it refers to what’s my festival. Of course the spring festival coming soon I’ll choose.
The spring festival has a long history since ancient china, it’s not only a traditional festival but also a good time when people can stay together to make up for their missing time.
You must know the dumplings as long as you speak about the spring festival. The food is delicious and healthy.
Although dumplings play an important role in my choice, the atmosphere in the spring festival affects me most. Anyone can do everything they have always being wanting to do but can’t. The bomps of firecrackers drive away the annoying problems from our crowded minds, the laughter and happiness come in instead. It’s really a good way to refresh ourselves.
点评 这是一篇中档习作: 在审题和内容上基本符合题目要求。第一部分做了背景介绍,并且引出最喜欢的节日,但篇幅过长,特别是第二句话,与题目要求没有太大的关系;第二部分简单介绍了春节,但不够具体,显得过于单薄;第三部分说明了喜欢的原因,但不够充分,主要是思路不够清晰。Dumplings应该只作为食物这一个方面,不应该过多描述,而其他原因又太简单化。在语言方面,有一定的语言基本功,比方说文中使用的表达方式:under great pressure, keep high paces of modern society, it refers to, make up for, play an important role in, drive away, a good way to refresh ourselves等等,这些都是非常可取的。但总体语言把握上还存在一些问题, 例如:So when it refers to what’s my festival. Of course the spring festival coming soon I’ll choose.此句表达不清楚,可以这样写:So when it comes to what my favorite festival is, I’ll choose the Spring Festival. 其他也有一些表达错误。
【习作二】
Nowadays, we have many festivals, such as Spring Festival, Mid-autumn Festival, May day. Christmas and so on. But I like the Spring Festival most.
The Spring Festival is a traditional Chinese festival with a long history. It falls in January or February. It’s a time of gathering together and a time to look forward to the end of winter and to the coming of spring.
I like it because during the festival I can go home and see my family, I can play with my old friends, I can eat a lot of delicious food. Above all, it has a long holiday and I can get my mind off my work and enjoy myself freely.
点评 这是一篇非常优秀的习作。首先,习作充分考虑了题目要求,审题准确。另外,习作思路也非常清晰。习作第一段通过背景介绍引出了主题:我最喜欢的节日。第二段对春节做了简单介绍。第三段说明了喜欢的原因,文中列举了四条原因,数量适中,理由充分。三段布局合理,主题鲜明。从语言方面来说,习作表达也很地道。无论是单词、短语还是句子结构上都很恰当。
当然,这篇习作也有其不足之处,首先,文章的内容虽然也比较完整清晰,但仍显得单薄,分量不够;再者,文章的词汇使用上,都是比较简单的词汇,没什么高档词汇。
点拨 此文属于开放性短文,没有给出太多的条条框框,这有利于同学们自由发挥。话题与我们的现实生活息息相关,如果审题得当,思路清晰,并有一定的语言素质,是能写出非常优秀的短文的。否则就会陷入无话可说,条理不清的困境。
根据题目要求可知,此短文应该由三部分组成:第一部分为短文的背景介绍,并引出你所喜欢的节日,这一部分篇幅应该小,而题目中所列举的节日只是介绍,也无需写出来;第二部分简单介绍你最喜欢的节日;第三部分说明你喜欢的原因,这一部分是本文的重点,应该写出几个喜欢的理由。
【习作一】
Everybody is eager to celebrate a festival. I think the reason may be the people today are under great pressure for they want to keep high paces of modern society. So when it refers to what’s my festival. Of course the spring festival coming soon I’ll choose.
The spring festival has a long history since ancient china, it’s not only a traditional festival but also a good time when people can stay together to make up for their missing time.
You must know the dumplings as long as you speak about the spring festival. The food is delicious and healthy.
Although dumplings play an important role in my choice, the atmosphere in the spring festival affects me most. Anyone can do everything they have always being wanting to do but can’t. The bomps of firecrackers drive away the annoying problems from our crowded minds, the laughter and happiness come in instead. It’s really a good way to refresh ourselves.
点评 这是一篇中档习作: 在审题和内容上基本符合题目要求。第一部分做了背景介绍,并且引出最喜欢的节日,但篇幅过长,特别是第二句话,与题目要求没有太大的关系;第二部分简单介绍了春节,但不够具体,显得过于单薄;第三部分说明了喜欢的原因,但不够充分,主要是思路不够清晰。Dumplings应该只作为食物这一个方面,不应该过多描述,而其他原因又太简单化。在语言方面,有一定的语言基本功,比方说文中使用的表达方式:under great pressure, keep high paces of modern society, it refers to, make up for, play an important role in, drive away, a good way to refresh ourselves等等,这些都是非常可取的。但总体语言把握上还存在一些问题, 例如:So when it refers to what’s my festival. Of course the spring festival coming soon I’ll choose.此句表达不清楚,可以这样写:So when it comes to what my favorite festival is, I’ll choose the Spring Festival. 其他也有一些表达错误。
【习作二】
Nowadays, we have many festivals, such as Spring Festival, Mid-autumn Festival, May day. Christmas and so on. But I like the Spring Festival most.
The Spring Festival is a traditional Chinese festival with a long history. It falls in January or February. It’s a time of gathering together and a time to look forward to the end of winter and to the coming of spring.
I like it because during the festival I can go home and see my family, I can play with my old friends, I can eat a lot of delicious food. Above all, it has a long holiday and I can get my mind off my work and enjoy myself freely.
点评 这是一篇非常优秀的习作。首先,习作充分考虑了题目要求,审题准确。另外,习作思路也非常清晰。习作第一段通过背景介绍引出了主题:我最喜欢的节日。第二段对春节做了简单介绍。第三段说明了喜欢的原因,文中列举了四条原因,数量适中,理由充分。三段布局合理,主题鲜明。从语言方面来说,习作表达也很地道。无论是单词、短语还是句子结构上都很恰当。
当然,这篇习作也有其不足之处,首先,文章的内容虽然也比较完整清晰,但仍显得单薄,分量不够;再者,文章的词汇使用上,都是比较简单的词汇,没什么高档词汇。