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1. Model behavior
The most important thing you can do to convert others to your ideas is to be the best model possible. Walk the walk, and do it visibly, so others can see what you’re doing. This goes for your spouse, for your kids, for family and friends, for co-workers. Just showing how to do it can be a powerful tool indeed. Cherish your life, live more simply, and you’ll go a long way in converting others.
2. Share how important it is to you, and the benefits
This is really the second part of being a role model: as you start to live the simple life, show others, how great it is to you, how important a part of your life this is. Talk with them about it, and tell them why you’re doing this. When people understand your motivation, they can start to get on board, or at least stop feeling so threatened. And when they see how great it is for you, how happy it makes you and all the great things it brings into your life, they’ll move closer and closer to your way.
3. Ask for help
One of the first things I did with Eva was ask for her support. Not just her consent, but her physical help. I confessed that I can’t do it on my own and I need her. Many people, if they truly care about you and want to help you; if they want you to be happy, and if you tell them how they can help you succeed, they’ll do their best. If possible, make simplifying a team effort — not just something you’re doing, but something you’re all doing together. And make it fun!
4. Educate
The best way to educate others is, as I said above, by your good example. But beyond that, you may want to share books and websites and blogs you’re reading, not in a way that insists that they change, but just to show what you’re interested in and how they might learn more if they’re interested. Documentaries, podcasts, magazines, and other good sources of information are helpful as well. You can’t force people to read or watch, but you can make it available. In addition, talk with them about it — again, not in a pushy way but in a way that shows how excited you are and how you’d like to share what you’re learning about. If they seem put off, don’t drone on and on.
5. Help them succeed
If you do have some success converting some of the important people in your life to your way of thinking, at least to a minor degree, don’t criticize when they don’t do it as well as you’d like, or to the extent you’d like. Instead, be encouraging, be happy for them, and support them in any way you can. Again, make it a team effort.
6. Realize you can’t control or change others
One of the most common frustrations comes when people try to control other people, or force them to change. It’s a recipe for disaster. You can try to control others, but there will always be a struggle, and you’ll always fail to some degree. This applies to your significant other, even to kids. We try to control them but we can’t, not really. Instead, try to influence others, encourage them, support them, help them find happiness. And let go of the need to control. It’s difficult but really essential here. Once you can release that need to control, you’ll find much more happiness.
7. Set boundaries
Once you stop trying to control others, you have to find ways to live together with different goals and different ways of life. If you want to simplify and the others you live or work with don’t, how can you peacefully coexist in the same space? Some possibilities (but nowhere near an exhaustive list): decide who owns what and just simplify your own things; split up the house or office into your area and theirs; find a happy compromise between simplicity and major clutter.
8. Have patience
Don’t expect others to change overnight just because you have. The important people in your life might not get quite as excited about this change, because it’s not coming from them. They might not learn it as quickly as you have. Or they might not want to change or support your change at all, at first...but later, they might come around. Again, don’t push or be obnoxious about it, but instead be patient with an attitude of sharing what you’re learning and excited about.
9. Change what you can
Sometimes you can’t change everything you’d like, and you have to learn to accept that. Find areas you can control, find places that others will allow you to change, and focus on those. The other areas might come later (or they might not). You give up complete control, but you also get the wonder of sharing your life with other human beings, something I’d never give up.
10. Find support
If you can’t get support from some people in your life, find it elsewhere if possible. This might be from others who are doing the same thing as you — friends or family, or people in your community. It could be from online communities, such as social networks or forums. There are tons of people out there who are trying to simplify. Share your progress, challenges, frustrations with them, and you’ll find help from people who understand.
1. 做行动上的榜样
要让别人听取你的想法,你就要尽可能地做一个好榜样,这一点至关重要。走自己的路,正大光明,这样别人才能够看到你做的。这样做是为了你的配偶、孩子、家庭、朋友以及同事。事实上,仅仅为人师表就可以发挥强大的作用。珍惜生活,简化生活,这样你就可以持久地影响别人。
2. 分享简单生活对你的重要性以及它的好处
这是成为一个角色榜样的第二步:当你开始过上简单的日子,让其他人看到这样的日子是多么的精彩,这样的日子是多么的重要。与他们谈论下,并且告诉他们你这样做的目的是什么。一旦人们了解了你的动机,他们就会开始接受你,或者至少不会再感到威胁。当他们看到你的日子如此精彩,这日子让你如此快乐,它给你的生活带来了如此多的美好事物,他们就会越来认同你的生活方式。
3. 寻求帮助
我与女儿Eva相处,首要的就是寻求她的支持。不仅仅是她口头上的赞同,而是她实际的帮助。我承认我不能独立完成一些事,所以我需要她的帮助。很多人,如果他们真的关心你,就会想帮助你的。他们想要你快乐,而如果你告知他们如何可助你成功的话,他们将会全力以赴。如果可能,这也会使团队的付出更加简单,不仅仅是你正在做的一些事情,而是所有的事大家一起做。也能让事情变得有趣些。
4. 教育
如上所述,教育别人最好的方法就是以身作则。但是除此之外,你可能想要与人分享你正在看的书,浏览的网站,或是博客,不是坚持要他们改变,只需要表明你感兴趣的,如果他们也感兴趣,他们可能会学得更多。纪录片、播客、杂志,以及其他好的信息来源都可以帮助我们。你不能强迫别人去读或者看,但是你可以提供这些渠道。另外,与他们讨论这些事,再次强调,不要以一种强求的方式,而是表明你对此很感兴趣,并且想要分享你从中得到的东西。如果他们看起来厌倦,就不要一直讲下去了。
5. 帮助他人成功
如果你的确成功让一些你生活中重要的人听取了你的想法,至少是在很小的程度上,那么不要责怪他们做得不如你想象得好,或者没有做到你期待的程度。相反,你要鼓励他们,为他们感到高兴,并尽一切可能支持他们。再次强调,要让这称为团队合作。
6. 认清你不能控制或者改变他人
当人们试着去控制他人或者是强迫他人改变时,最常见一种挫折也随之而来。这会招致灾难。你可以试着去控制他人,但是通常会有反抗,在某种程度上,你还是会失败。这些适用于你认为重要的人,甚至是你的孩子。我们试着去控制别人,但是事实上,我们却做不到。相反,试着去影响他们,鼓励他们,支持他们或是帮助他们找到幸福。有必要放开控制。虽然很难,但是十分必要。一旦你对这些控制欲放手,你将会找到更多的幸福。
7. 设置边界
一旦你停止控制别人的尝试,你就得带着不同的目标,不同的生活方式去生活。如果你想要简化生活,然而与你生活或是工作的人却不想那样做,你怎样在相同的地方与这些人和平共处呢?有如下可能性(不过没有完整的清单):判断谁拥有什么,简化你自己的东西;在家里和办公室里设置你的区域,和其他人的分开;在简单与复杂之间找一个令人满意的折衷。
8. 有耐心
不要因为你自己的改变就期望别人一夜之间就改变,你生命中重要的人未必会为这种改变而兴奋,因为那不是出自于他们自愿。他们可能不如你学得那么快。或者他们可能不想改变,也不支持你的改变,开始他们是这样的 —— 但是慢慢地,他们或许就开始理解你了。还得强调的是,不要急, 不要厌倦,要耐心与人分享你正获得的和你所感兴趣的东西。
9. 改变你能改变的
有时候,你无法改变你想改变的一切,那你就得学会接受。找到你可以控制的事情,找到他人允许你改变的地方,并专注于那些地方。其他的事情也许会迟些出现 (也许不会出现)。这是你生活中来自于其它的部分:你放弃完全绝对控制,但是你也可以获得与他人分享自己生活的乐趣,这个方面是我从未放弃的。
10. 寻求支持
在你的生活中,如果你不能从一些人那里得到支持,那就尽可能地到别处寻找。这可能来自正在做同样的事情的朋友、家人或者你所在社区的人。也可能来自网络社区,如社交网站和论坛。那里有成千上万的人正尝试着简化生活。与他们分享你的进步、挑战、挫折,你就可以从过来人那里获得帮助。
The most important thing you can do to convert others to your ideas is to be the best model possible. Walk the walk, and do it visibly, so others can see what you’re doing. This goes for your spouse, for your kids, for family and friends, for co-workers. Just showing how to do it can be a powerful tool indeed. Cherish your life, live more simply, and you’ll go a long way in converting others.
2. Share how important it is to you, and the benefits
This is really the second part of being a role model: as you start to live the simple life, show others, how great it is to you, how important a part of your life this is. Talk with them about it, and tell them why you’re doing this. When people understand your motivation, they can start to get on board, or at least stop feeling so threatened. And when they see how great it is for you, how happy it makes you and all the great things it brings into your life, they’ll move closer and closer to your way.
3. Ask for help
One of the first things I did with Eva was ask for her support. Not just her consent, but her physical help. I confessed that I can’t do it on my own and I need her. Many people, if they truly care about you and want to help you; if they want you to be happy, and if you tell them how they can help you succeed, they’ll do their best. If possible, make simplifying a team effort — not just something you’re doing, but something you’re all doing together. And make it fun!
4. Educate
The best way to educate others is, as I said above, by your good example. But beyond that, you may want to share books and websites and blogs you’re reading, not in a way that insists that they change, but just to show what you’re interested in and how they might learn more if they’re interested. Documentaries, podcasts, magazines, and other good sources of information are helpful as well. You can’t force people to read or watch, but you can make it available. In addition, talk with them about it — again, not in a pushy way but in a way that shows how excited you are and how you’d like to share what you’re learning about. If they seem put off, don’t drone on and on.
5. Help them succeed
If you do have some success converting some of the important people in your life to your way of thinking, at least to a minor degree, don’t criticize when they don’t do it as well as you’d like, or to the extent you’d like. Instead, be encouraging, be happy for them, and support them in any way you can. Again, make it a team effort.
6. Realize you can’t control or change others
One of the most common frustrations comes when people try to control other people, or force them to change. It’s a recipe for disaster. You can try to control others, but there will always be a struggle, and you’ll always fail to some degree. This applies to your significant other, even to kids. We try to control them but we can’t, not really. Instead, try to influence others, encourage them, support them, help them find happiness. And let go of the need to control. It’s difficult but really essential here. Once you can release that need to control, you’ll find much more happiness.
7. Set boundaries
Once you stop trying to control others, you have to find ways to live together with different goals and different ways of life. If you want to simplify and the others you live or work with don’t, how can you peacefully coexist in the same space? Some possibilities (but nowhere near an exhaustive list): decide who owns what and just simplify your own things; split up the house or office into your area and theirs; find a happy compromise between simplicity and major clutter.
8. Have patience
Don’t expect others to change overnight just because you have. The important people in your life might not get quite as excited about this change, because it’s not coming from them. They might not learn it as quickly as you have. Or they might not want to change or support your change at all, at first...but later, they might come around. Again, don’t push or be obnoxious about it, but instead be patient with an attitude of sharing what you’re learning and excited about.
9. Change what you can
Sometimes you can’t change everything you’d like, and you have to learn to accept that. Find areas you can control, find places that others will allow you to change, and focus on those. The other areas might come later (or they might not). You give up complete control, but you also get the wonder of sharing your life with other human beings, something I’d never give up.
10. Find support
If you can’t get support from some people in your life, find it elsewhere if possible. This might be from others who are doing the same thing as you — friends or family, or people in your community. It could be from online communities, such as social networks or forums. There are tons of people out there who are trying to simplify. Share your progress, challenges, frustrations with them, and you’ll find help from people who understand.
1. 做行动上的榜样
要让别人听取你的想法,你就要尽可能地做一个好榜样,这一点至关重要。走自己的路,正大光明,这样别人才能够看到你做的。这样做是为了你的配偶、孩子、家庭、朋友以及同事。事实上,仅仅为人师表就可以发挥强大的作用。珍惜生活,简化生活,这样你就可以持久地影响别人。
2. 分享简单生活对你的重要性以及它的好处
这是成为一个角色榜样的第二步:当你开始过上简单的日子,让其他人看到这样的日子是多么的精彩,这样的日子是多么的重要。与他们谈论下,并且告诉他们你这样做的目的是什么。一旦人们了解了你的动机,他们就会开始接受你,或者至少不会再感到威胁。当他们看到你的日子如此精彩,这日子让你如此快乐,它给你的生活带来了如此多的美好事物,他们就会越来认同你的生活方式。
3. 寻求帮助
我与女儿Eva相处,首要的就是寻求她的支持。不仅仅是她口头上的赞同,而是她实际的帮助。我承认我不能独立完成一些事,所以我需要她的帮助。很多人,如果他们真的关心你,就会想帮助你的。他们想要你快乐,而如果你告知他们如何可助你成功的话,他们将会全力以赴。如果可能,这也会使团队的付出更加简单,不仅仅是你正在做的一些事情,而是所有的事大家一起做。也能让事情变得有趣些。
4. 教育
如上所述,教育别人最好的方法就是以身作则。但是除此之外,你可能想要与人分享你正在看的书,浏览的网站,或是博客,不是坚持要他们改变,只需要表明你感兴趣的,如果他们也感兴趣,他们可能会学得更多。纪录片、播客、杂志,以及其他好的信息来源都可以帮助我们。你不能强迫别人去读或者看,但是你可以提供这些渠道。另外,与他们讨论这些事,再次强调,不要以一种强求的方式,而是表明你对此很感兴趣,并且想要分享你从中得到的东西。如果他们看起来厌倦,就不要一直讲下去了。
5. 帮助他人成功
如果你的确成功让一些你生活中重要的人听取了你的想法,至少是在很小的程度上,那么不要责怪他们做得不如你想象得好,或者没有做到你期待的程度。相反,你要鼓励他们,为他们感到高兴,并尽一切可能支持他们。再次强调,要让这称为团队合作。
6. 认清你不能控制或者改变他人
当人们试着去控制他人或者是强迫他人改变时,最常见一种挫折也随之而来。这会招致灾难。你可以试着去控制他人,但是通常会有反抗,在某种程度上,你还是会失败。这些适用于你认为重要的人,甚至是你的孩子。我们试着去控制别人,但是事实上,我们却做不到。相反,试着去影响他们,鼓励他们,支持他们或是帮助他们找到幸福。有必要放开控制。虽然很难,但是十分必要。一旦你对这些控制欲放手,你将会找到更多的幸福。
7. 设置边界
一旦你停止控制别人的尝试,你就得带着不同的目标,不同的生活方式去生活。如果你想要简化生活,然而与你生活或是工作的人却不想那样做,你怎样在相同的地方与这些人和平共处呢?有如下可能性(不过没有完整的清单):判断谁拥有什么,简化你自己的东西;在家里和办公室里设置你的区域,和其他人的分开;在简单与复杂之间找一个令人满意的折衷。
8. 有耐心
不要因为你自己的改变就期望别人一夜之间就改变,你生命中重要的人未必会为这种改变而兴奋,因为那不是出自于他们自愿。他们可能不如你学得那么快。或者他们可能不想改变,也不支持你的改变,开始他们是这样的 —— 但是慢慢地,他们或许就开始理解你了。还得强调的是,不要急, 不要厌倦,要耐心与人分享你正获得的和你所感兴趣的东西。
9. 改变你能改变的
有时候,你无法改变你想改变的一切,那你就得学会接受。找到你可以控制的事情,找到他人允许你改变的地方,并专注于那些地方。其他的事情也许会迟些出现 (也许不会出现)。这是你生活中来自于其它的部分:你放弃完全绝对控制,但是你也可以获得与他人分享自己生活的乐趣,这个方面是我从未放弃的。
10. 寻求支持
在你的生活中,如果你不能从一些人那里得到支持,那就尽可能地到别处寻找。这可能来自正在做同样的事情的朋友、家人或者你所在社区的人。也可能来自网络社区,如社交网站和论坛。那里有成千上万的人正尝试着简化生活。与他们分享你的进步、挑战、挫折,你就可以从过来人那里获得帮助。