自己以独立著称,但却常常无法独立。无法独立常常有两个处境:一是遇到高人;二是到了“强国”。两个处境的核心又都一样,就是遇到“强”于自己之人和之国。2012年去了现代舞蹈的“延安”纽约一个多月,并如饥似渴地看了所有能看的演出。先是心潮激荡,难以平复,因为“延安”清晰地映照出了自己的缺点,其缺点竟源于自己拼死抵抗的这个社会。这是“多么痛的领悟”呀:尽管自己拼死抵抗这个社会,最终却被这个社会同化,其同化更因为自己全无知觉而可悲可怜。当时的痛苦是巨大的,因为抵抗的结果竟是同化,前进的结果竟是倒退。当时的自己突然就虚无了,唯一能做的事 Known for its independence, but often can not be independent. There are often two situations in which independence can not be achieved: one is to encounter an ascendant; the other is to a “power”. The same is true for the two situations, where one encounters “strong” one’s own and one’s own country. In 2012, I went to Yan’an, New York for modern dance for more than a month, and hungrily watched all the shows I could watch. First, the ups and downs of the tide, it is difficult to calm down, because “Yan’an ” clearly reflects its own shortcomings, but its shortcomings actually stem from their desperate resistance in this society. This is “What a painful comprehension”. "Yeah: Although I desperately resisted this society, I was finally assimilated by this society and its assimilation was even more pitiful because of my own ignorance. The pain of that time was enormous because the result of resistance was actually assimilation and the result of its advance was actually retrogression. Suddenly he was nothingness, the only thing to do