论文部分内容阅读
Mark Twain’s Absent-mindedness
The famous American writer Mark Twain was well-known for his absent-mindedness(心不在焉). One day,when he was riding in a train, the conductor asked him for his ticket. Mark Twain looked for the ticket in all his pockets, but without success. At last,the conductor, who knew the writer by sight(面熟)said:
“It doesn’t really matter. Show me your ticket on your way back. And if you don’t find it, there’s no harm done.”
“Oh,but there is, I must find the darned thing(这该死的玩意儿),otherwise how will I know where I’m going?”
Mark Twain and Whistler
Whistler,the famous artist,once invited Mark Twain to visit his studio(画室)to see a new painting he was just finishing. The humorist(幽默作家)examined the canvas(油画)for some time in silence, then said,“I’d do away with that cloud if I were you,”and extended his hand carelessly toward one corner of the picture as though about to smudge(涂去)out a cloud effect. Whistler cried out nervously:“God,sir,be careful! Don’t you see the paint still wet!”
“Oh,that doesn’t matter,”said Mark.“I’ve got my gloves on.”
Bernard Shaw’s Question
Stepping out between the acts at the first production of one of his plays,Bernard Shaw(英戏剧家萧伯纳)said to the audience:“What do you think of it?”
This startled(使大吃一惊)everybody for the time being, but presently a man in the pit(剧场正厅)assembled his scattered wits(很快恢复常态)and cried:“Rotten(遭透了)!”
Shaw made a curtsey(行屈膝礼)and melted the house(柔情面对观众)with one of his Irish(爱尔兰人的)smiles.
“My friend,”he said,struggling his shoulders and indicating the crowd in front.“I entirely agree with you,but what on earth can we two do against this whole audience?”
The Shortest Letters
Voltaire(法作家伏尔泰),the great French writer,wrote a small book and sent it to his publisher. Some time passed,but Voltaire received no news about it. So at last he sent his publisher a letter. In it there is only the sign “?”.
All the copies of the book were already sold. It was quite clear to the publisher what the sign“?”meant in Voltaire’s letter. So he sent an answer. It was as short as Voltaire’s letter. The answer is also only one sign“!”.
Do you know what these signs mean?
I Won’t Charge You Much
A rich but ignorant(无知的)Englishman went to the famous painter Turner and ordered a painting. When it was finished he refused to pay the price that the painter demanded.
“What,”he said,“all that money for a square of canvas(粗帆布)and a little paint!”
“Oh,”replied Turner,“if it’s just paint and canvas that you want, here’s a half-used tube, and over in the corner you will find some canvas. I won’t charge you much for them.”
The famous American writer Mark Twain was well-known for his absent-mindedness(心不在焉). One day,when he was riding in a train, the conductor asked him for his ticket. Mark Twain looked for the ticket in all his pockets, but without success. At last,the conductor, who knew the writer by sight(面熟)said:
“It doesn’t really matter. Show me your ticket on your way back. And if you don’t find it, there’s no harm done.”
“Oh,but there is, I must find the darned thing(这该死的玩意儿),otherwise how will I know where I’m going?”
Mark Twain and Whistler
Whistler,the famous artist,once invited Mark Twain to visit his studio(画室)to see a new painting he was just finishing. The humorist(幽默作家)examined the canvas(油画)for some time in silence, then said,“I’d do away with that cloud if I were you,”and extended his hand carelessly toward one corner of the picture as though about to smudge(涂去)out a cloud effect. Whistler cried out nervously:“God,sir,be careful! Don’t you see the paint still wet!”
“Oh,that doesn’t matter,”said Mark.“I’ve got my gloves on.”
Bernard Shaw’s Question
Stepping out between the acts at the first production of one of his plays,Bernard Shaw(英戏剧家萧伯纳)said to the audience:“What do you think of it?”
This startled(使大吃一惊)everybody for the time being, but presently a man in the pit(剧场正厅)assembled his scattered wits(很快恢复常态)and cried:“Rotten(遭透了)!”
Shaw made a curtsey(行屈膝礼)and melted the house(柔情面对观众)with one of his Irish(爱尔兰人的)smiles.
“My friend,”he said,struggling his shoulders and indicating the crowd in front.“I entirely agree with you,but what on earth can we two do against this whole audience?”
The Shortest Letters
Voltaire(法作家伏尔泰),the great French writer,wrote a small book and sent it to his publisher. Some time passed,but Voltaire received no news about it. So at last he sent his publisher a letter. In it there is only the sign “?”.
All the copies of the book were already sold. It was quite clear to the publisher what the sign“?”meant in Voltaire’s letter. So he sent an answer. It was as short as Voltaire’s letter. The answer is also only one sign“!”.
Do you know what these signs mean?
I Won’t Charge You Much
A rich but ignorant(无知的)Englishman went to the famous painter Turner and ordered a painting. When it was finished he refused to pay the price that the painter demanded.
“What,”he said,“all that money for a square of canvas(粗帆布)and a little paint!”
“Oh,”replied Turner,“if it’s just paint and canvas that you want, here’s a half-used tube, and over in the corner you will find some canvas. I won’t charge you much for them.”