人物性格表 Personality
　　Emily ‘Jacks’ Jackson (Brittany Murphy) —
　　carefree, flippant[轻率的，冒失的], bubbly[欢快活跃的]
　　Peter Simon (Matthew Rhys) —
　　apprehensive[聪敏的，善解人意的], idealistic[理想主义的]
　　Paolo Sarmiento (Santiago Cabrera) —
　　mysterious, brooding[苦思却不采取行动的]
　　Tallulah Wentworth (Catherine Tate)—
　　 crazy, bizarre[服饰古怪], eccentric[行为古怪]
　　
　　1 Love’s Confusion 剪不断 理还乱
　　
　　Peter: Jacks? What are you doing?
　　Jacks: Reading this delicious recipe for 1)beetroot salad with 2)marjoram and 3)balsamic vinegar dressing!
　　Peter: What are you doing with James?
　　Jacks: Nothing.
　　Peter: You broke up with him a month ago!
　　Jacks: I know, it’s just sex. He fills a void. 4)Literally.
　　Peter: I don’t see how you expect to meet someone new if you spend all your time with your ex.
　　Jacks: Good point! Maybe I should get back together with James so I spend less time with him.
　　Peter: I don’t think it’s funny.
　　Jacks: Neither do I.
　　Peter: What’s the point of shagging someone 5)ad nauseam if you know you’re never going to love them?
　　Jacks: It’s not so simple.
　　Peter: He’s in love with you, Jacks. You’re not in love with him. It doesn’t get more simple than that.
　　Jacks: That’s not fair! I happen to care about James. A lot. And I hate the fact that he feels more than me. And I hate the fact that I’m not in love with him. Because I know I should be. Because he’s smart and sweet and 6)decent and I don’t want to hurt him. So I keep hoping that I’ll grow into it. That maybe one day I’ll wake up and I’ll feel...
　　Peter: What?
　　Jacks: In love! You know, dizzy and 7)feverish and 8)nauseous...
　　Peter: That’s not love, Jacks. That’s the flu.
　　Jacks: Well, at least I’m trying! You big 9)cynic.
　　Peter: I’m not a cynic!
　　Jacks: When’s the last time you even considered falling in love?
　　Peter: Today!
　　Jacks: I’m not talking about some character in a novel or a movie.
　　Peter: Neither am I.
　　彼得：杰克丝？你在干嘛？
　　杰克丝：在看美味的菜谱，甜菜根沙拉配墨角兰和香醋！
　　彼得：我说的是你跟詹姆斯这是在干嘛？
　　杰克丝：没干嘛。
　　彼得：你一个月前就和他分手了！
　　杰克丝：我知道。只是性而已，事实上他正好填补我的空虚。
　　彼得：我不知道如果你整天和前男友粘在一起，怎么可能会遇到新欢呢？
　　杰克丝：说得好！或许我该和詹姆斯复合，这样我就可以少花点时间在他身上了。
　　彼得：我不觉得这有什么好笑。
　　杰克丝：我也一样。
　　彼得：如果你知道你永远都不会爱上他，这样勉强自己和他混在一起又有什么意义呢?
　　杰克丝：事情没这么简单。
　　彼得：他爱着你，杰克丝，你却不爱他，再简单不过了。
　　杰克丝：这不公平！恰恰我喜欢詹姆斯，很喜欢；但我讨厌他爱我更多这个事实。我也讨厌我不爱他这个事实，因为我知道我应该爱他，因为他既聪明，人又好，又有风度，而且我不想伤害他。所以我一直希望自己能萌生出对他的爱意，也许有一天早上起来，我会感觉……
　　彼得：什么？
　　杰克丝：恋爱的感觉！你知道，头晕发热想吐的……
　　彼得：杰克丝，那不是爱，那是流感。
　　杰克丝：至少我在努力！你这个愤世嫉俗的家伙。
　　彼得：我不是愤世嫉俗！
　　杰克丝：你上一次有坠入爱河的感觉是在什么时候？
　　彼得：今天！
　　杰克丝：我不是在说什么小说或者电影里头的角色。
　　彼得：我也不是。
　　
　　2 Love’s Super Metaphor爱的最强比喻
　　
　　(In the house of the 10)therapist)
　　Peter: I really appreciate you seeing me on such short notice. Finlay11)thinks the world of you.
　　Therapist: And I think the world of Finlay!
　　Peter: Yes, well...He said you really 12)sorted him out on the relationship front. And I could certainly use some help there. You see I’ve never actually been in a relationship except in my own head.
　　Therapist: And how long did that last?
　　Peter: What?
　　Therapist: The relationship in your head.
　　Peter: No. I mean, it’s an ongoing problem. They only last in my head. For varying amounts of time.
　　Therapist: So you have a problem with 13)monogamy?
　　Peter: No, no that. No, that’s not my problem.
　　Therapist: OK, right. Paul?
　　Peter: Peter.
　　Therapist: Sorry?
　　Peter: Peter.
　　Therapist: Peter. Peter. Yes, it is. You’re absolutely right. Peter. That’s a good start. Well done you! OK, Peter. I think I can help you.
　　Peter: You do?
　　Therapist: I do. I think you are stuck in that prerelationship moment of 14)infatuation and you need to be reminded that a real relationship has many, many, many more stages.
　　Peter: Stages. I like that.
　　Therapist: Relationships are best measured by 15)farting.
　　Peter: Excuse me?
　　Therapist: The stages of a relationship can be defined by farting. Stage 1 is the 16)conspiracy of silence. This is a fantasy period where both parties pretend that they have no bodily waste. This 17)illusion is very quickly18)shattered by that first shy “Ooh did you fart?” followed by the 19)sheepish admission of truth. This 20)heralds a period of deeper 21)intimacy. A period I like to call the “fart honeymoon.” Where both parties find each other’s gas just the cutest thing in the world.
　　But of course no honeymoon can last forever. And so we reach the critical fork in the fart. Either the fart loses its power to amuse and22)embarrass, thereby 23)signifying true love, or else, it begins to annoy and disgust, thereby symbolizing all that is blocked and 24)rancid in the formerly beloved. Do you see what I’m getting at?
　　（在治疗专家的家中）
　　彼得：我真的很感谢你能在那么短的时间内就能见我。芬莱对你评价很高。
　　治疗专家：我对芬莱评价也很高！
　　彼得：是的，嗯……他说你在感情方面真的帮了他不小的忙，我想我能从这里得到些帮助。你知道，除了我自己的想像之外，我从来就没有真正谈过恋爱。
　　治疗专家：持续了多长时间？
　　彼得：什么？
　　治疗专家：就是你幻想中的关系。
　　彼得：不，我的意思是，这是个持续的问题。它们只存在于我的想像里，每次持续的时间也不一定。
　　治疗专家：这么说你有关于一夫一妻制的问题？
　　彼得：不，不是那样的。这不是我的问题。
　　治疗专家：好吧，这样，保罗？
　　彼得：彼得。
　　治疗专家：你说什么？
　　彼得：叫彼得。
　　治疗专家：彼得，彼得，没错。完全正确，彼得。这是个好的开始，干得好！好的，彼得，我想我能够帮助你。
　　彼得：你能？
　　治疗专家：我能。我觉得你是被困在了开始恋情之前的那个迷恋时期，我得提醒你：真正的恋情是有很多很多阶段的。
　　彼得：阶段，我喜欢这种说法。
　　治疗专家：恋情，最好用放屁来比喻。
　　彼得：您说什么？
　　治疗专家：可以用放屁来定义恋情进行的阶段。第一步，密谋保持缄默。这是幻想的时期。双方都假装自己没有体内废气。这样的幻想很快就会被第一次害羞的提问“噢，你放屁了？”而打碎，随之而来的是羞怯的承认。这宣告着更深层的亲密关系的来临。我通常称之为“屁屁蜜月”。这个阶段双方都觉得对方的废气是这世界上最可爱的东西。
　　但是当然了，没有永恒的蜜月。所以在这里我们来到了一个关键的分岔口上，要不就是放屁失去了本来搞笑和让人尴尬的力量，也就是说真爱产生了；要不然就是开始觉得惹人烦恼，招人厌恶，这就象征着对之前爱人的感觉被切断了，腐坏了。你明白我的意思了吧？
　　
　　3 Love’s Embarrassment爱的尴尬
　　
　　(With the strong recommendation of Jacks, Peter dated Paolo, whom they thought was gay.)
　　Paolo: Oh, this is....
　　Peter: Do you want to come upstairs for another drink?
　　Paolo: I want to, but I probably shouldn’t. I have to be at the 25)lab at 7.
　　Peter: Oh, OK. Well...
　　Paolo: But I really enjoyed meeting you.
　　Peter: So did I…So did I. (trying to kiss Paolo.)
　　Paolo: Are you OK here?
　　Peter: Oh my God! Oh God! You don’t! I...I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry. I was just...I’m really embarrassed.
　　Paolo: No, no, no, listen, Peter. I really like you a lot, but...
　　Peter: But you don’t like me in that way. Look, I know that speech. I use that speech because I actually wrote that speech...
　　Paolo: I’m not gay.
　　Peter: I didn’t write that part!
　　Paolo: I’m straight.
　　Peter: Since when?
　　Paolo: I suppose I first noticed when I was around eight. I thought it was just a phase, you know, but eventually I had to accept the truth. I like women.
　　Peter: Oh this is good! This is really good. You know, Jacks is useless at fixing people up...
　　Paolo: Jacks thought I was gay?
　　Peter: Oh she sure did. And I’m really going to enjoy making her feel stupid about this one.
　　Paolo: No! Please don’t. I think I should tell her myself.
　　Peter: You and, you and Jacks? Oh my God! Oh, look, I... I... I won’t say a word. I promise.
　　Paolo: Thanks.
　　Peter: 26)Cross my heart.
　　（在杰克丝的强烈推荐下，彼得约会了保洛，大家误以为他是同性恋。）
　　保洛：噢，这……
　　彼得：想上来再喝一杯吗？
　　保洛：我很想，不过可能不行了。我7点得去摄影棚。
　　彼得：哦，好的。好……
　　保洛：但是我真的很高兴认识你。
　　彼得：我也是……我也是。（想吻保洛。）
　　保洛：你没事吧？！
　　彼得：哦，我的天！上帝啊！你不是！我……我真的很抱歉，真的很抱歉，我只是……我真的很尴尬！
　　保洛：不不不，听着，彼得，我真的很喜欢你，但是……
　　彼得：但不是那种意思上的喜欢。听着，我懂话里的意思，我也说过那样的话，因为这话就是我写的……
　　保洛：我不是同性恋！
　　彼得：我可没有写过这个！
　　保洛：我是异性恋者。
　　彼得：从什么时候开始变的？
　　保洛：我想第一次注意到，是在我八岁的时候。我还以为那只是阶段性的，你知道，但最终我不得不接受这个事实。我喜欢女人。
　　彼得：噢，这很好，这实在太好了。你知道，杰克丝在撮合别人这方面就是这么差劲……
　　保洛：杰克丝以为我是同性恋？
　　彼得：是的，她就是这么想的。我真要好好对付她，让她看看自己这次有多愚蠢。
　　保洛：不！千万别这样。我想还是我自己告诉她。
　　彼得：你和……你和杰克丝？天啊！哦，你瞧，我，我，我一个字也不会说的！我保证！
　　保洛：谢谢。
　　彼得：我发誓。
　　
　　4 Love’s White Book 爱的白皮书
　　
　　(Since James informed the government about Paolo’s illegal stay, Jacks decides to make a27)marriage of convenience to help him to stay in England. In the registry…)
　　Priest: If anyone knows why these two individuals before me should not be married, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.
　　Paolo: I’m not gay.
　　Priest: Excuse me?
　　Paolo: I’m not gay!
　　Jacks: Of course you’re not gay! He’s not! Gay. I mean.
　　Priest: How nice for both of you. Now, if there’s any other reason why...
　　Paolo: And I think I’m in love with you.
　　Priest: What?
　　Paolo: I mean, I’m in love with her.
　　Jacks: Paolo, what are you doing?
　　Paolo: Telling the truth. I’m not gay and I think I’m in love with you. I know I should have said something before. But every time when I started, it seemed like the wrong time. Or maybe I didn’t have the courage. But then when you suggested getting married. I just got swept up with the idea because I wanted more than anything to stay. I wanted to stay with you. I know I should have said something but...
　　Jacks: But, What? You wanted to make a fool out of me first?
　　Paolo: Jacks. You know that’s not true.
　　Jacks: I have no idea what’s true!
　　Paolo: Oh, Jacks.
　　Jacks: I trusted you! I told you things. I was naked in your bed! Did you know about this?
　　Peter: Yes.
　　Jacks: You?
　　Talullah: No!
　　Peter: I told you!
　　Talullah: Yes! And now I’ve lied.
　　Jacks: I can’t believe I trusted any of you!
　　Paolo: Jacks! Please...
　　Priest: Next.
　　（詹姆斯偷偷举报了保洛的非法居民身份，杰克丝决定和保洛假结婚以帮助他留在英国。在婚姻登记处……）
　　神父：如果有人有理由反对我面前的这两个人结婚，请立刻说出；否则请永远保持沉默。
　　保洛：我不是同性恋！
　　神父：你说什么？
　　保洛：我不是同性恋！
　　杰克丝：你当然不是——同性恋！我是说，他不是——同性恋。
　　神父：这对你俩来说真是件好事。现在，如果有任何其它理由……
　　保洛：还有我觉得我爱上了你。
　　神父：什么？
　　保洛：我是说，我爱上了她。
　　杰克丝：保洛，你在做什么？
　　保洛：说出真相。我不是同性恋，而且我想我爱上你了。我知道我该早点说出来。但每次我开口，似乎总觉得不是时候，又或许是我没有勇气。但当你建议我们结婚时，我所有的顾虑都一扫而空。因为没有什么比能留下来更让我感到满足。我想和你在一起。我知道我早该说出来的，可……
　　杰克丝：可什么？你想先让我出丑？
　　保洛：杰克丝，你知道那不是真的。
　　杰克丝：我不知道什么才是真的！
　　保洛：噢，杰克丝！
　　杰克丝：我信任你！我什么话都和你说，我还躺在你床上一丝不挂！你们知道这事吗？
　　彼得：知道。
　　杰克丝：你呢？
　　塔露娜：不知道！
　　彼得：我告诉过你！
　　塔露娜 ：是的！现在我还撒了谎。
　　杰克丝：我真不敢相信我居然相信你们！
　　保洛：杰克丝！求求你…….
　　神父：下一对。
　　
　　5 Rule of Love 恋爱法则
　　
　　(Jacks rushed to the airport, but the plane has already taken off.)
　　Jacks: An early departure? What are the chances of that? If this was a movie, there wouldn’t be an early departure.
　　Peter: If this was a movie, you’d be blonde!
　　Jacks: If this was a movie, you’d be famous!
　　Peter: That’s the problem with life, it’s nothing like the movies.
　　(Jacks is packing her suitcase.)
　　Peter: I can’t believe you’re really going.
　　Jacks: I’m following your advice. I’m breaking my rules.
　　Peter: Good for you!
　　Jacks: Are you sure you’re going to be OK?
　　Peter: Jacks! I’m not a child, I’ll be fine.
　　Jacks: I worry about you, Babies.
　　Peter: You worry about everyone.
　　Jacks: No, I worry about you more. I just don’t want you to end up alone.
　　Peter: Well, neither do I. And stop being so dramatic!
　　Jacks: So stop living your life like you’re in some kind of a movie.
　　Peter: Excuse me?
　　Jacks: Stop trying to 28)cast your true love instead of just meeting him.
　　Peter: When I meet him, I’ll know.
　　Jacks: I’m not so sure. Love isn’t always a lightning bolt, you know? Maybe sometimes it’s just a choice.
　　Peter: Well, that’s easy for you to say! You’re flying to Argentina to meet the love of your life!
　　Jacks: That’s just it. I don’t know that Paolo’s the love of my life, but I’ve decided to give him the chance to be. Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody, without worrying whether they’ll give anything back, or if they’re gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn’t something that happens to you. Maybe it’s something you have to choose.
　　Peter: So what do I do?
　　Jacks: Well, you could start by putting all of those fantasies of true love where they belong into your work of fiction.
　　（杰克丝赶去机场时，保洛乘坐的那班机已经起飞了。）
　　杰克丝：提前起飞？这机率有多大？如果这是部电影，就不会发生提前起飞的事。
　　彼得：如果这是部电影，你会是位金发女郎！
　　杰克丝：如果这是部电影，你会是个名人！
　　彼得：这就是现实生活的问题，一点也不像电影。
　　（杰克丝在收拾行李。）
　　彼得：我真不敢相信你真要去。
　　杰克丝：我听从你的建议，我要打破自己的规则。
　　彼得：做得好！
　　杰克丝：你肯定你一个人行么？
　　彼得：杰克丝，我不是孩子，我会好好的。
　　杰克丝：我担心你，宝贝。
　　彼得：你担心每一个人。
　　杰克丝：不，我更担心你。我不想你一人孤独终老。
　　彼得：嘿，我也不想啊！不要再弄得这么富戏剧性了！
　　杰克丝：那你也别再像在电影里面一样生活了。
　　彼得：你说什么？
　　杰克丝：不要再试着去设定你的真爱，试试直接见面交流。
　　彼得：如果我遇到了合适的人，我会感觉到的。
　　杰克丝：这可说不好。爱情并不总是突如其来的，明白吗？也许，有时它只是个选择。
　　彼得：啊，你说起来当然容易了！你正要飞去阿根廷见你的生平挚爱了！
　　杰克丝：也就那样。我不知道保洛是否是我的生平挚爱，但我决定给他个机会试试。也许真爱只是做个决定，你知道，决定给自己和他人一起尝试的机会。给别人一个机会，而不去担心他们是否给予回报，或他们是否会伤害你，或他们是否是你的真命天子。也许爱不是发生在你身上的事，也许它是靠你去选择的。
　　彼得：那我该怎么办？
　　杰克丝：你可以把所有这些真爱幻想写进你的剧本。