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必修六第五單元的写作是descriptive wrting,也就是说明文的写作,要求以Have you ever thought of visiting___________? You should because it has special attractions. 开头,对你喜欢的景点进行以下描述:
1. Why the place is famous?
2. What you can do there?
3. How good it is for you?
下面请看以下两位同学的习作:
习作一
Sheng Nongjia
Have you ever thought of visiting Shen nongjia? You should because it has special attractions.
Shengnongjia is a forest district.① It lies in the northwest of Hubei Province, covering an area of 3,253 square kilometers. Such a vast area is heavily forested of trees, like fir, pine and hemlock, and also inhabited by many precious animals, like golden monkey, leopard and bear. So it is a wonder tourist attraction, if you want to get close to nature.
Shennongjia is well known for its legend of savages. ③There are some reports showing evidence for them, like their hair and footprints, but there is no one who really has witnessed a savage in the last 30 years.
②The area has many mountains, with an average altitude of 1,700 meters. Because of that, the weather varies from the low places to the high places. The best time for visitors is from June to October. ④But if you go there between December and the next February, you can enjoy the fantastic snow scenery.
Finally, let’s talk about the food there. There are many kinds of special dishes that you won’t have in other places, especially its edible wild herbs. That’s really a feast for you! (夏秀)
【点评】
本篇写作有以下这些特点:
1. 开头用词组lie in, 动词cover直接点题:
① It lies in the northwest of Hubei Province, covering an area of 3,253 square kilometers.
2. with的复合结构介绍神农架的地理位置。
②The area has many mountains, with an average altitude of 1,700 meters.
3. 各种句式交替使用:其实在英文写作中,各种句子类型的自如转换也是高考高分作文的一个重要要素之一。该文除了简单句的使用外,还不乏有从句,并列句的句式转换。如③There are some reports showing evidence for them, like their hair and footprints, but there is no one who really has witnessed a savage in the last 30 years.
④But if you go there between December and the next February, you can enjoy the fantastic snow scenery.
不足之处:
1. 应当注意词性:So it is a wonder tourist attraction, if you want to get close to nature. 此处wonder是名词,应当改为wonderful(形容词)。
2. 有些介词的使用过于单一,如like可以使用such as, plus等介词短语或副词代替,从而使表达更加丰富、灵活。
习作二
The West Lake
Have you ever thought of visiting the West Lake? You should because it has special attractions.
①Known as Heaven on earth, the West lake lies in the west of Hangzhou in Zhejiang Province. It’s a famous urban lake in China. With an average depth of 2.27 meters, the lake is 3.3 kilometers long from north to south and 2.8 kilometers wide from east to west. The deepest site of the lake can be 5 meters. Two famous causeways, Su Causeway and the Bai Causeway, divides the West Lake into five parts. ②The beauty of the lake not only lies in its lakes, but also in its mountains, the most two famous of which are Mount Lingying and Mount Longjing.
Throughout China’s history, any poets, writers and even movie directors come here in search of inspiration under the attraction of the lake. ③In addition, there are a great number of preserved cultural relics here, which makes the West Lake a well-known tourist attraction of history and culture. On June 24, 2011, the West lake was officially listed in the “World Heritage” list.
You can breathe fresh air, and cycle around the lake. What’s more, one can always has a pleasant chat with his or her friends over the dragon well tea sitting beside the lake. (王芳)
【點评】
本篇写作下面这些特点:
1. 非谓语动词开头简洁明了:
①Known as Heaven on earth, the West lake lies in the west of Hangzhou in Zhejiang Province. 在说明文中介绍某一事物时,除了定语从句这一常见句型之外,非谓语动词是一个也不错的选择。
2. 连词巧妙连接,非限制定语从句彰显才华。
②The beauty of the lake not only lies in its lakes, but also in its mountains, the most two famous of which are Mount Lingying and Mount Longjing. 该句用到了not only ... but also这一关联词,而且用到了较为复杂的非限制性定语从句the most two of which are Mount Lingying and Mount Longjing. 可见作者语言功底的扎实。
3. 介词短语自然过渡
③In addition, there are a great number of preserved cultural relics here, which makes the West Lake a well-known tourist attraction of history and culture. 除了in addition之外,还有besides, what’s more, additionally等过渡词可用。
不足之处:
1. 主谓一致当注意:①Two famous causeways, Su Causeway and the Bai Causeway, divides the West Lake into five parts.很明显句子的主语是复数,其谓语动词应当为divide。
②文章的结尾有些唐突。似乎意犹未尽。You can breathe fresh air, and cycle around the lake. What’s more, one can always has a pleasant chat with his or her friends over the dragon well tea sitting beside the lake.
现将王芳同学的作文稍加修改作为范文:
Nowadays, travel is a good way of relaxation for people. Have you ever thought of visiting the West Lake? You should because it has special attractions.
Known as Heaven on earth, the West lake lies in the west of Hangzhou in Zhejiang Province. It’s a famous urban lake in China. With an average depth of 2.27 meters, the lake is 3.3 kilometers long from north to south and 2.8 kilometers wide from east to west. The deepest site of the lake can be 5 meters. Two famous causeways, Su Causeway and the Bai Causeway, divide the West Lake into five parts. The beauty of the lake not only lies in its lakes, but also in its mountains, the most two famous of which are Mount Lingying and Mount Longjing.
Throughout China’s history, many poets, writers and even movie directors come here in search of inspiration under the attraction of the lake. In addition,there are a great number of preservation of cultural relics here, which makes the West Lake a well-known tourist attraction of history and culture. On June 24, 2011, the West lake was officially listed in the “World Heritage” list.
Here you can enjoy the amazing landscape, breathe fresh air, cycle around the lake and paddle a boat on the water. What’s more, it always sounds attracting that one has a pleasant chat with his or her friends over the dragon well tea sitting beside the lake.
The best season to visit the West Lake is spring and autumn. And if you decide to go there,don’t forget to take a camera of high pixel to record the unforgettable moments.
1. Why the place is famous?
2. What you can do there?
3. How good it is for you?
下面请看以下两位同学的习作:
习作一
Sheng Nongjia
Have you ever thought of visiting Shen nongjia? You should because it has special attractions.
Shengnongjia is a forest district.① It lies in the northwest of Hubei Province, covering an area of 3,253 square kilometers. Such a vast area is heavily forested of trees, like fir, pine and hemlock, and also inhabited by many precious animals, like golden monkey, leopard and bear. So it is a wonder tourist attraction, if you want to get close to nature.
Shennongjia is well known for its legend of savages. ③There are some reports showing evidence for them, like their hair and footprints, but there is no one who really has witnessed a savage in the last 30 years.
②The area has many mountains, with an average altitude of 1,700 meters. Because of that, the weather varies from the low places to the high places. The best time for visitors is from June to October. ④But if you go there between December and the next February, you can enjoy the fantastic snow scenery.
Finally, let’s talk about the food there. There are many kinds of special dishes that you won’t have in other places, especially its edible wild herbs. That’s really a feast for you! (夏秀)
【点评】
本篇写作有以下这些特点:
1. 开头用词组lie in, 动词cover直接点题:
① It lies in the northwest of Hubei Province, covering an area of 3,253 square kilometers.
2. with的复合结构介绍神农架的地理位置。
②The area has many mountains, with an average altitude of 1,700 meters.
3. 各种句式交替使用:其实在英文写作中,各种句子类型的自如转换也是高考高分作文的一个重要要素之一。该文除了简单句的使用外,还不乏有从句,并列句的句式转换。如③There are some reports showing evidence for them, like their hair and footprints, but there is no one who really has witnessed a savage in the last 30 years.
④But if you go there between December and the next February, you can enjoy the fantastic snow scenery.
不足之处:
1. 应当注意词性:So it is a wonder tourist attraction, if you want to get close to nature. 此处wonder是名词,应当改为wonderful(形容词)。
2. 有些介词的使用过于单一,如like可以使用such as, plus等介词短语或副词代替,从而使表达更加丰富、灵活。
习作二
The West Lake
Have you ever thought of visiting the West Lake? You should because it has special attractions.
①Known as Heaven on earth, the West lake lies in the west of Hangzhou in Zhejiang Province. It’s a famous urban lake in China. With an average depth of 2.27 meters, the lake is 3.3 kilometers long from north to south and 2.8 kilometers wide from east to west. The deepest site of the lake can be 5 meters. Two famous causeways, Su Causeway and the Bai Causeway, divides the West Lake into five parts. ②The beauty of the lake not only lies in its lakes, but also in its mountains, the most two famous of which are Mount Lingying and Mount Longjing.
Throughout China’s history, any poets, writers and even movie directors come here in search of inspiration under the attraction of the lake. ③In addition, there are a great number of preserved cultural relics here, which makes the West Lake a well-known tourist attraction of history and culture. On June 24, 2011, the West lake was officially listed in the “World Heritage” list.
You can breathe fresh air, and cycle around the lake. What’s more, one can always has a pleasant chat with his or her friends over the dragon well tea sitting beside the lake. (王芳)
【點评】
本篇写作下面这些特点:
1. 非谓语动词开头简洁明了:
①Known as Heaven on earth, the West lake lies in the west of Hangzhou in Zhejiang Province. 在说明文中介绍某一事物时,除了定语从句这一常见句型之外,非谓语动词是一个也不错的选择。
2. 连词巧妙连接,非限制定语从句彰显才华。
②The beauty of the lake not only lies in its lakes, but also in its mountains, the most two famous of which are Mount Lingying and Mount Longjing. 该句用到了not only ... but also这一关联词,而且用到了较为复杂的非限制性定语从句the most two of which are Mount Lingying and Mount Longjing. 可见作者语言功底的扎实。
3. 介词短语自然过渡
③In addition, there are a great number of preserved cultural relics here, which makes the West Lake a well-known tourist attraction of history and culture. 除了in addition之外,还有besides, what’s more, additionally等过渡词可用。
不足之处:
1. 主谓一致当注意:①Two famous causeways, Su Causeway and the Bai Causeway, divides the West Lake into five parts.很明显句子的主语是复数,其谓语动词应当为divide。
②文章的结尾有些唐突。似乎意犹未尽。You can breathe fresh air, and cycle around the lake. What’s more, one can always has a pleasant chat with his or her friends over the dragon well tea sitting beside the lake.
现将王芳同学的作文稍加修改作为范文:
Nowadays, travel is a good way of relaxation for people. Have you ever thought of visiting the West Lake? You should because it has special attractions.
Known as Heaven on earth, the West lake lies in the west of Hangzhou in Zhejiang Province. It’s a famous urban lake in China. With an average depth of 2.27 meters, the lake is 3.3 kilometers long from north to south and 2.8 kilometers wide from east to west. The deepest site of the lake can be 5 meters. Two famous causeways, Su Causeway and the Bai Causeway, divide the West Lake into five parts. The beauty of the lake not only lies in its lakes, but also in its mountains, the most two famous of which are Mount Lingying and Mount Longjing.
Throughout China’s history, many poets, writers and even movie directors come here in search of inspiration under the attraction of the lake. In addition,there are a great number of preservation of cultural relics here, which makes the West Lake a well-known tourist attraction of history and culture. On June 24, 2011, the West lake was officially listed in the “World Heritage” list.
Here you can enjoy the amazing landscape, breathe fresh air, cycle around the lake and paddle a boat on the water. What’s more, it always sounds attracting that one has a pleasant chat with his or her friends over the dragon well tea sitting beside the lake.
The best season to visit the West Lake is spring and autumn. And if you decide to go there,don’t forget to take a camera of high pixel to record the unforgettable moments.