Summer flings. Those summer days of fun under the sun, careless and worryfree, drifting away into those breezy summer nights.
It’s a concept somewhat romanticized by the media but still pretty common in Western societies, and seemingly other cultures infiltrated by Western media. One can only imagine my surprise when my friend told me there were such things as winter flings too. That’s right, winter flings. Strange as it seems, this was introduced to me by a friend from Toronto, a city on the east coast of Canada. I’m from the west coast of the country, so we cower in our homes when it hits -15oC. Our pipes freeze, we have no running water, and sometimes we have no electricity. Toronto lies on the east so it gets pretty nasty winters, sometimes dipping to -40oC. I’m a winter wuss.
She explained winter flings simply: It gets cold in winter, so it’s nice to have someone you can snuggle with and be warm. When she put it that way, it made so much sense. Summer flings were all about the funness of summer while winter flings were more focused on the idea of coziness and sharing that hot cup of cocoa.
This is my first winter in Beijing and already I’m beginning to behold the wisdom of winter flings. Temperatures are dropping but hearts are melting as people around me have begun coupling up. Staunchly single just a month ago, now everywhere I go, all I see are couples in their poofy jackets, holding hands, making plans and getting cozy.
Does this recent coupling have anything to do with Singles Day being so close to winter? Perhaps being reminded of your single status and the primal need to be warm is just too much to take for many in Beijing. Or maybe I’m just surrounded by people who feel the sudden urge to be in relationships. Either way, I believe there is more to winter flings than meets the eye and all those keen on embarking on one should know what they’re getting themselves into.
Winter has yet to hit hard, so these flings are a little premature but I don’t think I’m getting ahead of myself. What is concerning with is how winter flings end. Winter technically starts in late December and goes all the way till March. It may seem like just a couple of months, but those are the months where the steps to commitment lie.
Picture this. You start an innocent winter fling early December-ish. You’re all nice and toasty as you celebrate the following holidays: Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa in December, time for being together; New Year’s Day and Chinese New Year in January, the time for new beginnings; and here it comes, the big one, Valentine’s Day in February, the celebration of love. By the time March–I suppose you can celebrate St. Patrick’s Day too–rolls around, it will have snowballed into more than a fling, right?
Maybe. Everyone is different after all and it would be arrogant of me to speak for anyone else, but friends have embarked on these winter flings only to end in a strange place in between disappointment, sadness and for some the unfortunate feeling of regret. As new as the concept is to me, and however tempting the thought is of snuggling together as you both watched the snow gently fall outside, winter flings still don’t measure up to their sunnier counterparts in terms of flingyness. A lot more is at stake, that’s for sure. After all, how do barbecues and games of beach volleyball compare to Christmas/ Hanukkah/Kwanzaa, both New Years, and the big one, V-day? True flingers will want out. That’s a big step toward commitment, the exact opposite of a fling.
There it is again. The C word. Commitment. Just the thought is enough to send the most fearless men and women running out the door faster than you can say “baby, its cold outside.” Did you just cringe inwardly when you read that? That’s a sign you’re still scared witless of the C word. Smart flingers will want to stay away from winter flings, as they know all the commitment involved this time of the year. Simpleminded flingers will jump in unthinkingly only to jump back out as soon as they realize this.
Fear not, believers of true winter love. It’s perfectly possible that it’s not all doom and gloom in this chilly season. Some flingers find themselves perfectly happy with the situation they sometimes unwittingly waltzed into and change their flingy ways. I have yet to see this happen but who knows, really? I’m new to this after all and this is just one person’s take on it. Perhaps calling it a winter fling is a misnomer, or my initial assessment was wrong–winter is just not a conducive environment for flings.
Only time will tell. Who knows? Maybe by the time the harsh parts of winter roll around, my inner west coast winter wuss will wise up and want one too.