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My favorite saying is，“ A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.” It makes me think about my best friend ， Mary. She is in the same class with me. In some ways，we are different. She is taller and thinner me. She is more outgoing than me. She draws better than me. And she is better at English than me. She often help to bring out the best in me. So I’m more outgoing and better at English than before. And she is a good listener， too. I always share my sadness and happiness with her. She always makes me laugh when I am sad. In some ways， we are the same， too. We are both tall and friendly. We both like music. We often enjoy listening to music together after school. She works as hard as me. So we both have good grades.
Who is your best friend？ And which is your favorite saying？
王旦芬老师点评：
本文是小作者学习八年级上期第三单元“I’m more outgoing than my sister”的习作，叙述了她与好朋友Mary的友情以及作者对友情的观点。本文最大的优点是跳出了平铺直叙的圈子，由自己喜欢的交友格言引出最好的朋友，并用词组“in some ways ... in some ways”引出与朋友之间的异同。文章描写准确，条理清楚。作者对“both， as...as， make sb do， share ...with” 等词和词组的用法掌握较好，能准确熟练运用比较等级句型，并能自如运用课文中的佳句，如“A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.” “She often helps to bring out the best in me.”等。
当然文中也有一些错误，如help没用第三人称单数形式。此外，比较两者异同之时句式较单一，逻辑顺序等还有待改善。如能再仔细斟酌字句，应当会增色不少。
修改稿：
My favorite saying is“ A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart”. It makes me think about my best friend， Mary. She is also one of my classmates. In some ways，we are different. She is taller and thinner than me. She draws better than me. I think I am less outgoing than her. And I am not as good as her at English. But she often helps to bring out the best of me. So with her help， I’m more outgoing and better at English than before. And she is a good listener， too. I always share my sadness and happiness with her. She always makes me laugh when I am sad. In some ways， we are the same， too. We are both tall and friendly. We both like music. We often enjoy listening to music together after school. She works as hard as me. So we both have good grades.
Who is your best friend ？ And which is your favorite saying about friends？
Who is your best friend？ And which is your favorite saying？
王旦芬老师点评：
本文是小作者学习八年级上期第三单元“I’m more outgoing than my sister”的习作，叙述了她与好朋友Mary的友情以及作者对友情的观点。本文最大的优点是跳出了平铺直叙的圈子，由自己喜欢的交友格言引出最好的朋友，并用词组“in some ways ... in some ways”引出与朋友之间的异同。文章描写准确，条理清楚。作者对“both， as...as， make sb do， share ...with” 等词和词组的用法掌握较好，能准确熟练运用比较等级句型，并能自如运用课文中的佳句，如“A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.” “She often helps to bring out the best in me.”等。
当然文中也有一些错误，如help没用第三人称单数形式。此外，比较两者异同之时句式较单一，逻辑顺序等还有待改善。如能再仔细斟酌字句，应当会增色不少。
修改稿：
My favorite saying is“ A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart”. It makes me think about my best friend， Mary. She is also one of my classmates. In some ways，we are different. She is taller and thinner than me. She draws better than me. I think I am less outgoing than her. And I am not as good as her at English. But she often helps to bring out the best of me. So with her help， I’m more outgoing and better at English than before. And she is a good listener， too. I always share my sadness and happiness with her. She always makes me laugh when I am sad. In some ways， we are the same， too. We are both tall and friendly. We both like music. We often enjoy listening to music together after school. She works as hard as me. So we both have good grades.
Who is your best friend ？ And which is your favorite saying about friends？