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刚上复旦大学时,我在作文中写了这样一句话:“庭院中有一个水池,池中的几条鱼和几枝荷花为环境平添了许多生机与情趣。”写作老师黄润苏改动了其中的“个”“条”“枝”“许多”几个字,把这句话改成了:“庭院中有一方水池,池中的几尾鱼和几茎荷花为环境平添了几许生机与情趣。”经她一改,意思虽未变,但给人的感觉却大不相同,有了灵气和美感。黄老师还在旁边批注了“精致语言,自量词始”这句话。此事已过去四五十年,可我还记忆犹新。
When I first came to Fudan University, I wrote the following sentence in my composition: “There is a pool in the courtyard where a few fish and several water lilies add a lot of vitality and interest to the environment.” The writing teacher Huang Runsu changed The word “” “” “stick ” “many ” a few words, the sentence changed to: “courtyard has a pool, a few fish in the pool and a few Stems and lotus for the environment added a few vitality and taste. ”By her change, although the meaning has not changed, but gives the feeling is very different, with Aura and beauty. Huang teacher is still next to the endorsement “exquisite language, since the beginning of the word ” this sentence. This matter has passed four or five years, but I still remember.