论文部分内容阅读
编者注:为了提高同学们的英语写作水平,使大家在中考中立于不败之地,应广大师生的要求,我们开辟了“学生习作名师点评”栏目。同学们如果想让自己的英语习作得到名师的点评,请邮寄给我们。老师们如果发现自己学生的优秀习作需推荐的话,请按栏目要求邮寄给我们。
【栏目要求】
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社初中部 收
本期点评名师
陈龙卫男,湖北省武汉市江夏区第一初级中学高级教师,江夏区优秀青年教师,新长征突击手。曾获得第四届“张思中”杯翻译大赛一等奖。辅导学生在《中学生英语》等刊物发表英文习作五十多篇,所撰写的教学论文也有多篇见诸报端。
Two years ago, I was in love with a person. She deeply attracted me. She is Lady Gaga.
She is a shining star, and I think she is my queen. So I often call her “Queen”. Now she is my idol. And ten years later, I’ll still think she is my idol. She is so beautiful and a lot of personality. I like her songs. And my favorite song is Born This Way. It’s very great. At the world famous Grammy Awards ceremony, Lady Gaga has harvested three awords. I’m proud of her. But now, she is very tired. I don’t want her to work too hard. I only hope she can be haelthy.
I love her. Maybe this is born doomed.
点 评
1. 优点:
作为周末练笔之作,小作者写出了心中所想,心中所爱。一方面可见偶像的魅力之大,另一方面也给我们英语教育工作者很多启示——英语教学也要与时俱进。
2. 需要改进的地方:
① is改为was;
② 在and后加has;
③ personality应改为personalities;
④ awords改为awards;
⑤ haelthy应改为healthy。
3. 评分:
按照中考满分15分的标准,本文修改前可得12分。
【栏目要求】
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社初中部 收
本期点评名师
陈龙卫男,湖北省武汉市江夏区第一初级中学高级教师,江夏区优秀青年教师,新长征突击手。曾获得第四届“张思中”杯翻译大赛一等奖。辅导学生在《中学生英语》等刊物发表英文习作五十多篇,所撰写的教学论文也有多篇见诸报端。
Two years ago, I was in love with a person. She deeply attracted me. She is Lady Gaga.
She is a shining star, and I think she is my queen. So I often call her “Queen”. Now she is my idol. And ten years later, I’ll still think she is my idol. She is so beautiful and a lot of personality. I like her songs. And my favorite song is Born This Way. It’s very great. At the world famous Grammy Awards ceremony, Lady Gaga has harvested three awords. I’m proud of her. But now, she is very tired. I don’t want her to work too hard. I only hope she can be haelthy.
I love her. Maybe this is born doomed.
点 评
1. 优点:
作为周末练笔之作,小作者写出了心中所想,心中所爱。一方面可见偶像的魅力之大,另一方面也给我们英语教育工作者很多启示——英语教学也要与时俱进。
2. 需要改进的地方:
① is改为was;
② 在and后加has;
③ personality应改为personalities;
④ awords改为awards;
⑤ haelthy应改为healthy。
3. 评分:
按照中考满分15分的标准,本文修改前可得12分。