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婆媳矛盾可说是家庭的通病。以往调解人员在调处这类纠纷时,总规劝当事人双方如母女关系相处。然而,婆媳争端并没有迎刃而解。究其原因在于这一贯之的建议本身就是错的。婆媳就是婆媳,永远不是母女。解决婆媳关系问题的关系,在于改变传统观念,正确认识婆媳纠纷起因于20—30年的代沟和当事人思考问题的出发点不同、方法不同、兴趣爱好不同。调处婆媳纠纷,最重要的是提醒当事人充分认识彼此的不同,达到互不干涉、和平共处。婆媳关系是十分复杂和微妙的。要减少和避免矛盾与冲突,化解纠纷,笔者提出以下忠告:——婆婆不要把儿媳当作“我的媳妇”。许多婆婆把“我儿媳”挂在嘴边。这样说是错误的开始。如果婆婆认为媳妇是她的媳妇,就会以长辈的口气或命令的口吻吩咐儿媳或与儿媳谈话,引起儿媳的反感。因为媳妇是嫁给她丈夫一个人的,不是嫁给丈夫
Conflict between law-abiding mother and father can be said that the family’s common problem. In the past, mediators in the mediation of such disputes, the general advice to both parties, such as mother and daughter get along. However, the dispute between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has not been solved. The reason is that the consistent advice itself is wrong. Mother and daughter is law-in-law, and never mother-daughter. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to solve the dispute between mother-in-law and mother-daughter-in-law. It is because of different starting points of different generation gap and parties’ thinking in 20-30 years, different ways and different hobbies. Disciplinary mother-in-law disputes, the most important thing is to remind the parties to fully understand each other’s differences, to achieve non-interference and peaceful coexistence. Mother-daughter relationship is very complicated and delicate. To reduce and avoid contradictions and conflicts and resolve disputes, the author offers the following advice: - The mother-in-law should not treat her daughter-in-law as “my wife.” Many grandma put “my daughter-in-law” in my mouth. This is the wrong start. If her mother-in-law considers her daughter-in-law to be her daughter-in-law, she may order her daughter-in-law or talk with her daughter-in-law with the tone of an elder’s order or a daughter’s order. Because the wife is married to her husband alone, not to marry her husband