人际交往的四个境界:一是惹不起躲得起,跑出去,最后问题还摆那里;二是非要争个胜负,非要自己胜利。三是为了对方而忍让,希望借此被对方接纳,结果可能让对方变本加厉。四是敢于面对甚至冲突,试图解决问题。我越来越相信,第四种方法最为合理。很多问题,你躲也躲不掉,让也让不掉,只有去面对,去解决,以后关系才可能正常化。好像这个思维在美国很吃得开,美国最被人反感的交流方式,是为了规避冲突不作声,但是在人后捣鬼的两面三刀。而通常被人接受的沟通方式,是那种不卑不亢地沟通:不为自己的权利而让步,但是为了解决问题也不回避与对方的 The four realms of interpersonal communication: First, can not afford to afford to hide can not afford to run out, the final problem still put there; the second is to fight a winner, we must own victory. Third, for the sake of each other and forbearance, hoping to be taken over by each other, the result may make the other party intensified. Fourth, dare to face or even conflict, trying to solve the problem. I believe more and more that the fourth method is the most reasonable. Many problems, you hide can not hide, so let too can not afford, only to face, to solve, after the relationship may be normalized. It seems that this thinking is very edible in the United States. The most objectionable way for the United States to communicate is to sidestep the clashes that are silent, but mischievously happen after people. The commonly accepted mode of communication is the kind of communication that does not hesitate: neither does it give in to its own rights, but does not evade the other