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I was 18 the first time a therapist① tried to get me to embrace the idea of daily affirmations. I was dealing with depression， anxiety， and an eating disorder.
Daily affirmations②， the therapist told me， were little sayings I could use to combat the default negativity that was always running through my mind. "It sounds dumb，" she said."But it works." She gave me a little box of cards， each with a happy image and a saying such as "I am a good person" or "I deserve③ recovery" or "I am lovable and capable of sharing love with others."
I rifled through them on my bed， rolling my eyes at each card I felt like an idiot. This， I decided， was not for me.
New York Times article from last May， and something she said really stuck with me： "What fi res together wires together. If you keep on having these negative thoughts or being angry all the time， then that area of your brain is going to get stronger." I realized that I’d never opened up a pathway in my brain for positive thoughts to fl ow through.
So I dug out the stupid cards and read one aloud.
"I am a good person."
I stood in front of the mirror and watched my mouth make those words and listened to my voice push them out into the air. I said it again.
"I am a good person." I felt so stupid and corny and ridiculous， but I said it again.
"I am a good person."
And then I started bawling④. I’d been able to see how routine the negativity had become， how cruel I’d been to myself on a regular basis.
These days I use daily affi rmations as needed.
There are days when I hop off the daily-affi rmation train and forget to show myself. But I always seem to come back to them， because sometimes you need to love yourself before you can notice it coming from anywhere else， and if you can take two seconds to stare yourself in the mirror down and pay you a compliment， you’ll eventually stop feeling like a total poseurand start believing the things that are coming out of your mouth. You are beautiful. You do deserve to be loved. You are good enough， you are smart enough， and doggone it， people like you.
我在18岁那年，平生第一次有心理医生努力说服我接受“每天自我肯定”的想法。那时候，我正陷于抑郁、焦虑中，还要对付厌食症。
那位心理医生告诉我所谓“每天自我肯定”，就是让我通过一些只言片语，来对付那些时刻萦绕在脑海中的、仿佛被设定好的负面想法。她说：“这听着有点傻，但是很管用。”她給了我一小盒卡片，每张上面都印着一幅欢快的图画，并配着一句类似“我很棒”“我会康复”或“我值得人爱，也能将爱分享给大家”这样的话。
我把卡片摊在床上翻了一遍，不屑地扫视着每张卡片。总之，我觉得自己就像个傻瓜。我认定，这个法子不适合我。
上个月，我偶然看到《纽约时报》去年五月刊登的一篇文章，一些话真的让我铭记于心：“要爆发的都牵系在一起。要是你总有这些负面想法，一直愤懑不已，那大脑负责这块儿的区域就会变得更强大。”我这才意识到，我从未在大脑里给积极的想法一个畅行的通道。
于是我翻出了那些愚蠢的卡片，大声地读出其中的一句话。
“我很棒！”
我站在镜子前，看着这些字眼从自己的嘴里冒出，听着自己的声音将它们推入空气中。我又说了一遍。
“我很棒！”
我觉得自己傻乎乎的，土里土气的，显得很可笑，但我又重复了一遍。
“我很棒！”
然后我开始放声大喊。我终于能发现，对于这些负面想法，我竟已变得如此习以为常，每时每刻我对自己是多么残忍。
这些日子以来，一旦有需要，我都会进行“每天自我肯定”。
有些日子，我会跳下“每天自我肯定”的列车。但我似乎总能再次回归，因为有时你首先要爱自己，才能注意到爱也能来自其他任何地方。你要是能花上两秒钟注视着镜中的自己，夸上自己几句，你终将不再觉得自己是在矫情，而开始相信自己说出的话。你很美。你真的值得人爱。你够优秀，你够聪明。去他的，人人喜欢你！
Daily affirmations②， the therapist told me， were little sayings I could use to combat the default negativity that was always running through my mind. "It sounds dumb，" she said."But it works." She gave me a little box of cards， each with a happy image and a saying such as "I am a good person" or "I deserve③ recovery" or "I am lovable and capable of sharing love with others."
I rifled through them on my bed， rolling my eyes at each card I felt like an idiot. This， I decided， was not for me.
New York Times article from last May， and something she said really stuck with me： "What fi res together wires together. If you keep on having these negative thoughts or being angry all the time， then that area of your brain is going to get stronger." I realized that I’d never opened up a pathway in my brain for positive thoughts to fl ow through.
So I dug out the stupid cards and read one aloud.
"I am a good person."
I stood in front of the mirror and watched my mouth make those words and listened to my voice push them out into the air. I said it again.
"I am a good person." I felt so stupid and corny and ridiculous， but I said it again.
"I am a good person."
And then I started bawling④. I’d been able to see how routine the negativity had become， how cruel I’d been to myself on a regular basis.
These days I use daily affi rmations as needed.
There are days when I hop off the daily-affi rmation train and forget to show myself. But I always seem to come back to them， because sometimes you need to love yourself before you can notice it coming from anywhere else， and if you can take two seconds to stare yourself in the mirror down and pay you a compliment， you’ll eventually stop feeling like a total poseurand start believing the things that are coming out of your mouth. You are beautiful. You do deserve to be loved. You are good enough， you are smart enough， and doggone it， people like you.
我在18岁那年，平生第一次有心理医生努力说服我接受“每天自我肯定”的想法。那时候，我正陷于抑郁、焦虑中，还要对付厌食症。
那位心理医生告诉我所谓“每天自我肯定”，就是让我通过一些只言片语，来对付那些时刻萦绕在脑海中的、仿佛被设定好的负面想法。她说：“这听着有点傻，但是很管用。”她給了我一小盒卡片，每张上面都印着一幅欢快的图画，并配着一句类似“我很棒”“我会康复”或“我值得人爱，也能将爱分享给大家”这样的话。
我把卡片摊在床上翻了一遍，不屑地扫视着每张卡片。总之，我觉得自己就像个傻瓜。我认定，这个法子不适合我。
上个月，我偶然看到《纽约时报》去年五月刊登的一篇文章，一些话真的让我铭记于心：“要爆发的都牵系在一起。要是你总有这些负面想法，一直愤懑不已，那大脑负责这块儿的区域就会变得更强大。”我这才意识到，我从未在大脑里给积极的想法一个畅行的通道。
于是我翻出了那些愚蠢的卡片，大声地读出其中的一句话。
“我很棒！”
我站在镜子前，看着这些字眼从自己的嘴里冒出，听着自己的声音将它们推入空气中。我又说了一遍。
“我很棒！”
我觉得自己傻乎乎的，土里土气的，显得很可笑，但我又重复了一遍。
“我很棒！”
然后我开始放声大喊。我终于能发现，对于这些负面想法，我竟已变得如此习以为常，每时每刻我对自己是多么残忍。
这些日子以来，一旦有需要，我都会进行“每天自我肯定”。
有些日子，我会跳下“每天自我肯定”的列车。但我似乎总能再次回归，因为有时你首先要爱自己，才能注意到爱也能来自其他任何地方。你要是能花上两秒钟注视着镜中的自己，夸上自己几句，你终将不再觉得自己是在矫情，而开始相信自己说出的话。你很美。你真的值得人爱。你够优秀，你够聪明。去他的，人人喜欢你！