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I’ve 1)been guilty of it.A day or two before my dentist appointment, I will spend twice the normal amount of time brushing my teeth and triple the time 2)flossing(I’m usually a fast flosser).
I even make the effort to brush my teeth again and use Listerine, right before my appointment.
If I really think about it…it’s absurd.
Here I am, paying my dentist to clean my teeth and I am doing most of the work for her(although she probably 3)begs to differ).
How about you?
Are you guilty of this as well?
Are you the type of person that will clean up the house before the cleaning lady comes?
If you are, or know someone who is, read on.
So, why do we do this to ourselves?
There is really only one reason:
We care about what other people think.
We are afraid our dentist and the dental assistants will silently look at each other with furrowed brows and 4)disgruntled looks when working on our teeth.We can already see them talking about us the next day, commenting on how lazy and 5)unhygienic we are. We can readily imagine our cleaning lady shaking her head 6)disapprovingly as she cleans up our mess (a gesture she usually reserves for college dorm rooms and seedy motels).
No matter how we try to spin it, we just don’t like to be judged negatively by other people (especially people we don’t know).
Whether it is cleaning up before the maid arrives, or brushing your teeth more 7)vigilantly than usual prior to a trip to the dentist—both are harmless 8)tendencies to have. However, it’s when it becomes a habit and you automatically start to go against your 9)natural inclinations because you are afraid of what other people will think, that it becomes dangerous.
A good warning sign is when you begin to rationalize your behavior, instead of taking responsibility. You tell yourself that by cleaning up, you are being considerate to others. You argue that the more “easy” work you do, the better they can focus on the “hard” work you paid them to do. I learned somewhere that there are always two reasons for doing something: the reason that sounds good and the real reason.
The reasons that sound good are all too familiar, so what is the real reason you brush your teeth before going to the dentist?
You care more about what other people think of you than what you think of yourself.
This is a formula for disaster for one reason:
You have no power over the actions and thoughts of other people.
So, if your self-image is based on what other people think about you, you’re going to be in for some pretty big up and down days. Each time someone changes their opinion of you, you 10)disempower yourself by 11)altering your self-worth.
Now that’s a pretty horrible way to live and it doesn’t have to be that way.
我对此一直心中有愧。在我看牙医前的一两天，我会花上比平常多一倍的时间刷牙，比平常多两倍的时间用牙线清洁牙齿（平时我用牙线三两下就完事了）。
我甚至还会在去看牙医的前一刻用力再刷一遍牙，并且用上李施德林漱口水。
其实要是认真想一想……这种行为太荒谬了。
现在我是，付钱给牙医，但自己却做了牙医的大部分工作（尽管她很可能会表示不予苟同）。
你又会怎样做呢？
你也会为这种事感到愧疚吗？
你是那种清洁女佣来之前会仔细打扫房子的人吗？
如果你是，或者你认识这样的人，就读一读这篇文章吧。
那么，我们为什么会这样做呢？
以下是唯一的真正原因：我们十分在乎别人的想法。
我们害怕牙医及其助理在捣腾我们的牙齿时，会默默交换眼色，眉头紧皱，满脸鄙夷。我们甚至已经想象到第二天他们会谈论自己，说这个病人有多么的懒惰和邋遢了。我们还会很容易就联想到清洁女佣在打扫房间时会不以为然地摇头（这种姿态通常是她在清洁学校宿舍和破旧的汽车旅馆时的保留动作）。
不论我们怎样自圆其说，归根结底只是我们不喜欢别人（尤其是陌生人）的负面评价。
无论是清洁女佣来之前清扫房间，还是看牙医前更认真地刷牙齿——这两种做法并无大碍。然而，如果这变成一种习惯，并且由于你害怕别人的想法，而导致你自觉地开始违背自己的本性，这种情况就很危险了。
当你开始为自己的行为找借口，而不去承担责任时，就要警惕了。你自辩说，自己打扫房间，是为别人着想。你辩称，你干的“轻巧”活儿越多，别人就越能关注你付钱让他们干的“苦差事”。我知道做事情通常有两种理由：冠冕堂皇的理由和真正的理由。
那些冠冕堂皇的理由我们都耳熟能详了，那么看牙医前你刷牙的真正理由是什么呢？
你在乎别人对你的看法甚于自我的看法。
这是酿成大错的常规定律，原因是：
你缺乏驾驭他人的行为和想法的能力。
因此，如果你的自我形象建立在别人对你的评价之上，你会经常陷入大起大落的状态。每次别人对你的看法发生改变，你就自我价值动摇，沮丧泄气。
这是一种很可怕的生活方式，但我们大可不必以此道过活。
Try this:
Care more about what you think about yourself, than what others think about you.
All I did was to change the order of the words and yet the impact is huge. The best way to put this to use in the real world, is by separating your self-image from your behavior and outlook—your self-image should not 12)fluctuate if you do this. If anything, it should only improve because you are in complete control of it. What’s more, changing your selfimage is instant. What are you waiting for?
Once you can separate your behavior from your self-image, failures becomes a reflection on your behavior, not who you are as a person. You haven’t changed and you don’t need to. You were perfect from the minute you were born. What does have to change, is your behavior. Remember that your failures won’t disempower you.
Are you someone who gets upset when people criticize or blame you?
Do you discount your ideas when it’s contrary to popular belief?
Is your mood tied to what people think about you?
If so, I strongly 13)recommend that you take the first step in the right direction and stop brushing your teeth just before you see the dentist. If you’re feeling really good, eat some 14)gooey chocolate beforehand. It may feel uncomfortable at first but when you come out with your teeth all cleaned and realize how little it matters what the dentist thinks about you, it’ll be well worth it.
If you are a dentist, sorry!
试试下面的做法吧：
在乎自我的看法甚于别人对你的看法。
我做的只是改变文字的次序，但效果卓著。将这一准则运用到现实生活中的最佳方法是把自我形象与自己的行为、观点分开看待。这么做的话，你的自我形象应该保持不变。就算有变，那也只可能是加以提升，因为它尽在你掌握之中。此外，改变心中的自我形象无需太多的时间。那你还在等什么呢？
一旦你把行为和自我形象分开来看，失败也只是你行为的反映，并不代表你这个人的失败。你个人并没有因为这个失败行为而发生变化，你也无需改变。打出生那一刻起，你就是个完美的造物。确实需要改变的只是你的行为而已。记住，你的失败不能掌控你的生活。
如果有人批评或责备你，你会感到很沮丧——你是这样的人吗？
如果你的想法和大家的不一样，你会就质疑自己的吗？
别人对你的看法会影响你的情绪吗？
如果答案是肯定的，我强烈建议你走出正确的第一步，在去看牙医前别刷牙了。如果你兴头来了，不妨吃点黏乎乎的巧克力。起初的改变可能让你感觉不舒服，但当你带着一口清洁一新的牙齿从牙医诊所走出来，意识到牙医的评价对你的影响实在是微乎其微时，这种改变就很值得了。
不过如果你是一名牙医，那请允许我说声抱歉！
The pessimist(悲观主义者) sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist(乐观主义者) sees the opportunity in every difficulty. —Winston Churchill
I even make the effort to brush my teeth again and use Listerine, right before my appointment.
If I really think about it…it’s absurd.
Here I am, paying my dentist to clean my teeth and I am doing most of the work for her(although she probably 3)begs to differ).
How about you?
Are you guilty of this as well?
Are you the type of person that will clean up the house before the cleaning lady comes?
If you are, or know someone who is, read on.
So, why do we do this to ourselves?
There is really only one reason:
We care about what other people think.
We are afraid our dentist and the dental assistants will silently look at each other with furrowed brows and 4)disgruntled looks when working on our teeth.We can already see them talking about us the next day, commenting on how lazy and 5)unhygienic we are. We can readily imagine our cleaning lady shaking her head 6)disapprovingly as she cleans up our mess (a gesture she usually reserves for college dorm rooms and seedy motels).
No matter how we try to spin it, we just don’t like to be judged negatively by other people (especially people we don’t know).
Whether it is cleaning up before the maid arrives, or brushing your teeth more 7)vigilantly than usual prior to a trip to the dentist—both are harmless 8)tendencies to have. However, it’s when it becomes a habit and you automatically start to go against your 9)natural inclinations because you are afraid of what other people will think, that it becomes dangerous.
A good warning sign is when you begin to rationalize your behavior, instead of taking responsibility. You tell yourself that by cleaning up, you are being considerate to others. You argue that the more “easy” work you do, the better they can focus on the “hard” work you paid them to do. I learned somewhere that there are always two reasons for doing something: the reason that sounds good and the real reason.
The reasons that sound good are all too familiar, so what is the real reason you brush your teeth before going to the dentist?
You care more about what other people think of you than what you think of yourself.
This is a formula for disaster for one reason:
You have no power over the actions and thoughts of other people.
So, if your self-image is based on what other people think about you, you’re going to be in for some pretty big up and down days. Each time someone changes their opinion of you, you 10)disempower yourself by 11)altering your self-worth.
Now that’s a pretty horrible way to live and it doesn’t have to be that way.
我对此一直心中有愧。在我看牙医前的一两天，我会花上比平常多一倍的时间刷牙，比平常多两倍的时间用牙线清洁牙齿（平时我用牙线三两下就完事了）。
我甚至还会在去看牙医的前一刻用力再刷一遍牙，并且用上李施德林漱口水。
其实要是认真想一想……这种行为太荒谬了。
现在我是，付钱给牙医，但自己却做了牙医的大部分工作（尽管她很可能会表示不予苟同）。
你又会怎样做呢？
你也会为这种事感到愧疚吗？
你是那种清洁女佣来之前会仔细打扫房子的人吗？
如果你是，或者你认识这样的人，就读一读这篇文章吧。
那么，我们为什么会这样做呢？
以下是唯一的真正原因：我们十分在乎别人的想法。
我们害怕牙医及其助理在捣腾我们的牙齿时，会默默交换眼色，眉头紧皱，满脸鄙夷。我们甚至已经想象到第二天他们会谈论自己，说这个病人有多么的懒惰和邋遢了。我们还会很容易就联想到清洁女佣在打扫房间时会不以为然地摇头（这种姿态通常是她在清洁学校宿舍和破旧的汽车旅馆时的保留动作）。
不论我们怎样自圆其说，归根结底只是我们不喜欢别人（尤其是陌生人）的负面评价。
无论是清洁女佣来之前清扫房间，还是看牙医前更认真地刷牙齿——这两种做法并无大碍。然而，如果这变成一种习惯，并且由于你害怕别人的想法，而导致你自觉地开始违背自己的本性，这种情况就很危险了。
当你开始为自己的行为找借口，而不去承担责任时，就要警惕了。你自辩说，自己打扫房间，是为别人着想。你辩称，你干的“轻巧”活儿越多，别人就越能关注你付钱让他们干的“苦差事”。我知道做事情通常有两种理由：冠冕堂皇的理由和真正的理由。
那些冠冕堂皇的理由我们都耳熟能详了，那么看牙医前你刷牙的真正理由是什么呢？
你在乎别人对你的看法甚于自我的看法。
这是酿成大错的常规定律，原因是：
你缺乏驾驭他人的行为和想法的能力。
因此，如果你的自我形象建立在别人对你的评价之上，你会经常陷入大起大落的状态。每次别人对你的看法发生改变，你就自我价值动摇，沮丧泄气。
这是一种很可怕的生活方式，但我们大可不必以此道过活。
Try this:
Care more about what you think about yourself, than what others think about you.
All I did was to change the order of the words and yet the impact is huge. The best way to put this to use in the real world, is by separating your self-image from your behavior and outlook—your self-image should not 12)fluctuate if you do this. If anything, it should only improve because you are in complete control of it. What’s more, changing your selfimage is instant. What are you waiting for?
Once you can separate your behavior from your self-image, failures becomes a reflection on your behavior, not who you are as a person. You haven’t changed and you don’t need to. You were perfect from the minute you were born. What does have to change, is your behavior. Remember that your failures won’t disempower you.
Are you someone who gets upset when people criticize or blame you?
Do you discount your ideas when it’s contrary to popular belief?
Is your mood tied to what people think about you?
If so, I strongly 13)recommend that you take the first step in the right direction and stop brushing your teeth just before you see the dentist. If you’re feeling really good, eat some 14)gooey chocolate beforehand. It may feel uncomfortable at first but when you come out with your teeth all cleaned and realize how little it matters what the dentist thinks about you, it’ll be well worth it.
If you are a dentist, sorry!
试试下面的做法吧：
在乎自我的看法甚于别人对你的看法。
我做的只是改变文字的次序，但效果卓著。将这一准则运用到现实生活中的最佳方法是把自我形象与自己的行为、观点分开看待。这么做的话，你的自我形象应该保持不变。就算有变，那也只可能是加以提升，因为它尽在你掌握之中。此外，改变心中的自我形象无需太多的时间。那你还在等什么呢？
一旦你把行为和自我形象分开来看，失败也只是你行为的反映，并不代表你这个人的失败。你个人并没有因为这个失败行为而发生变化，你也无需改变。打出生那一刻起，你就是个完美的造物。确实需要改变的只是你的行为而已。记住，你的失败不能掌控你的生活。
如果有人批评或责备你，你会感到很沮丧——你是这样的人吗？
如果你的想法和大家的不一样，你会就质疑自己的吗？
别人对你的看法会影响你的情绪吗？
如果答案是肯定的，我强烈建议你走出正确的第一步，在去看牙医前别刷牙了。如果你兴头来了，不妨吃点黏乎乎的巧克力。起初的改变可能让你感觉不舒服，但当你带着一口清洁一新的牙齿从牙医诊所走出来，意识到牙医的评价对你的影响实在是微乎其微时，这种改变就很值得了。
不过如果你是一名牙医，那请允许我说声抱歉！
The pessimist(悲观主义者) sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist(乐观主义者) sees the opportunity in every difficulty. —Winston Churchill