论文部分内容阅读
今年6月，全国人大常委会初次审议《老年人权益保障法（修订草案）》，草案规定每年农历九月初九（重阳节）为老年节。其实，即使没有老年节，我们也应该时时刻刻敬重老人，关怀老人，让他们安享晚年。
关爱老人应该从家人开始。如果你和长辈同住，应该珍惜和他们在一起的时光，好好照顾他们。如果他们住在别的地方，你是否经常关心他们呢？如果你实在抽不出时间看望家中老人，至少也应该经常打个电话问候一下他们吧。
万一家中老人病了，照顾他们更成为很多家庭面对的一大难题。以下请来两位住在美国的女士和我们分享一下照顾患病老人的体会。
受访人介绍
吉尼瓦·亨特( 66岁)：在华盛顿特区的一家律师事务所工作。两年半之前，89岁的母亲被诊断患上阿尔茨海默病。于是她把母亲从马里兰州接回家中照顾。吉尼瓦试过请人回家照顾母亲，但效果不理想。吉尼瓦的女儿尤兰达因此辞去了工作，专门照顾外祖母。现在，尤兰达计划重新找工作。
拉多娜·马丁( 44岁)：和凯利（拉多娜丈夫的姐姐）一起负责照顾凯利的奶奶。两年前，由于87岁的奶奶已经无法照顾自己，她们决定把她接回来。因为两人住得很近，所以奶奶在两家轮流住。拉多娜有两个小孩。她说奶奶来了以后，孩子们变听话了，也不再以自我为中心了。但她也承认照顾行动不便的奶奶确实很有压力。
David Greene (Host): I wondered if we could start with just an update from each of you on the people you care for. Geneva, how is your mom, Ida Christian, doing?
Geneva Hunter: Mom’s doing great. She is having issues[问题] with swallowing, which is a part of the latter stages of Alzheimer’s注1. But overall she’s doing extremely well.
Greene: LaDonna, tell me about Grandma. Tell me about Snutzie注2.
LaDonna Martin: Grandma’s actually doing well. Luckily, she, you know, has her mind, so we don’t have that problem. Hers is more physical—getting around. But she’s doing well.
Greene: Geneva, your daughter, Yolanda, 43, she gave up her career—her life, in many ways, for two years to be the daytime caregiver[护理者] for your mom. At what point does your role as a child in taking care of a parent compete with your role as a parent, and taking care of the younger generation?
Hunter: My daughter is a fantastic individual. I encourage her to continue to seek employment and we’re always thinking and planning what will happen once she finds a job. We’ve had to make decisions together. We sat up all night in hospitals together. We’ve decided on what’s the next step to take. And I don’t know what I would have done without her. She has been my caregiver (laughs)…in so many ways.
Greene: And LaDonna, let me ask you that question—the real balancing act. You have a 12-year-old and a 14-year-old. You are taking care of your husband’s grandmother. I mean, do you ever feel like you’re giving a little bit too much time to an older generation and kind of not there for your kids as much as you’d like to be?
Martin: I mean, not that I feel like I’m giving her too much,’cause I, you know, I would do anything for her. I do sometimes feel guilty that I’m not there enough for my own kids. But it’s your family and that’s what you do—or that’s how I was raised. You know, that that’s what you do.
Greene: I wonder if you think about when the breaking point[转换点] might come. And LaDonna, you told me a few weeks ago that, you know, if Grandma—if Snutzie falls or breaks a hip[髋关节] at some point, that might be the moment when you say, “You know, we just can’t take care of you. We live in a two-story house. We can’t take that much time away from our kids.” And how have you prepared for a conversation like that?
Martin: We say that to her. Do I truly think I could do it? I guess essentially[本质上] I don’t know what we would do. We would try our best. We would probably, you know, get a hospital bed and try 24-hour care. Truly, no one does the care that you would do for your own family. They just don’t. So it’s tough.
Greene: Sounds like it’s the kind of conversation you could think about in theory, but it’s a lot more difficult to actually carry out…
Martin: …in reality. It is.
Greene: And Geneva, watching someone with Alzheimer’s is something unimaginable. I mean, it’s…I wonder, if the disease progresses[发展], if a point will come, if she loses more of her faculties[能力], if you start thinking about “is it worth it for me to have sleepless nights,” “is it worth it to make sure she has 24-hour care in the home,” or is there a breaking point where we say, you know, it’s time for her to live outside the home?
Hunter: It’s worth it to me to have her with me, even when she doesn’t know who I am. I think eventually I will have to get a hospital bed. But I’m always thinking about what to do to make it more comfortable for her. I think if she passed away today, I could look at myself and say that I did the best that I could. She did her best for me. I want to do my best for her.
Greene: Look forward for me if you all can. Geneva, let me ask you, where do you see things in a year or so?
Hunter: Well, I think I’m gonna be faced with some very tough decisions. I’ve already checked into hospice[收容所] and things of that nature, so we have an idea what to do when the time comes, but I will still have my mom with me. I’m not going to allow her to be taken anywhere else until that time comes.
Greene: The amazing thing about telling your stories is that the listeners who have written in and shared their own stories and said they appreciate learning about their own financial decisions from what you’ve been through. And I guess, I wonder if there’s one piece of advice you could offer to someone in your situation after sort of living through this, what would it be? LaDonna?
Martin: Save early. (laughs) Save your money. Do a college fund and...you know, to have that extra. Greene: Geneva, one piece of advice on your mind?
Hunter: I’m going to say two things. I know I’m only supposed to say one.
Greene: It’s okay. You’re allowed.
Hunter: But I think saving is critical. The second thing would be communication. If you know that a disease runs in the family, you may not get it but someone else in the family may get it. And you have to be educated in order to take care of the person appropriately.
戴维·格林(主持人)：在节目开头，能否说一下你们照顾的人近况如何。吉尼瓦，你妈妈艾达·克里斯琴现在怎样？
吉尼瓦·亨特：妈妈现在不错。她在吞咽方面有些问题，这是阿尔茨海默病后期的病征之一。但总体来说，她非常好。
格林：拉多娜，说说奶奶的近况，说说斯鲁茨现在怎样。
拉多娜·马丁：其实奶奶近况不错。幸运的是，你知道，她头脑清醒，所以没有那个问题。她的问题更多是体能上的，比如说走路之类的。但她挺不错的。
格林：吉尼瓦，你的女儿尤兰达现年43岁，她在长达两年的时间里放弃了自己的事业——也放弃了其生活的许多方面，来为你的妈妈做日间看护人。作为子女，你要照顾父母；作为父母，你又要照顾下一代——要兼顾这两个角色，你要面对什么难题？
亨特：我女儿很了不起。我鼓励她继续找工作，我们总是在思考并计划着一旦她找到了工作，我们要怎样做。我们不得不一起做决定。我们一起在医院里彻夜未眠。我们决定了下一步该怎么做。如果没有了她，我不知道自己该怎么办。她一直是我的看护人（大笑）……在很多方面而言。格林：拉多娜，我想问你这个问题——平衡对你来说才是真的问题。你有一个12岁和一个14岁的孩子。你还在照顾你丈夫的祖母。我是说，你是否曾经觉得自己花在长辈身上的时间稍多了些，不能如你所愿地把时间更多地花在自己孩子身上呢？
马丁：我不觉得为她付出过多，因为，你知道，我愿意为她做任何事情。但我有时确实觉得内疚，因为不够时间陪伴自己的孩子。但这是你的家人，这是你该做的——或者说，我就是接受这样的教育长大的。你知道，这就是你该做的。
格林：我想知道的是，你们是否想过这个转折点会在什么时候到来？拉多娜，你在几个星期前曾对我说，你知道，如果奶奶——如果斯鲁茨摔倒了或在什么时候摔伤了髋关节，或许就是那个时刻你会说：“你知道，我们没有办法再照顾你了。我们住在一栋两层楼的房子里。我们不能总是丢下自己的孩子不管。”你如何为这样的谈话做准备呢？
马丁：我们会直接对她说的。我真的认为自己会那样做吗？我根本不知道我们会怎么做。我们会尽最大努力。你知道，我们也许会弄一张病床，找人24小时护理。说真的，没有人会像照顾家人一样去照顾别人。他们就是做不到。所以说，这很难。
格林：听起来像是一种在理论上你可能会思考的对话，但很难真的执行……
马丁：……真的实行。确实如此。
格林：吉尼瓦，看护阿尔茨海默病患者是一件难以想象的事情。我是说……我想知道，如果病情进一步恶化，如果转折点来了，如果她更加不能自理，你会否开始想“这些不眠夜值得吗”，“确保她在家得到24小时护理值得吗”等问题——或者如我们所说的转折点出现了，你知道，是时候让她搬出去住了吗？
亨特：对我来说，有她在就够了，即便她不知道我是谁。到最后，我可能还是要安排她入院。但我总是在思考怎样才能令她更舒心。我想如果今天她去世了，我可以告诉自己，我已经尽了最大的努力。她尽心尽力地为我付出，我也想为她竭尽所能。
格林：如果可以的话，和我说说未来的展望吧。吉尼瓦，我想问你，你觉得一年以后情况会怎样？
亨特：我将要做出非常艰难的决定。我已经查了一些临终关怀院方面的资料，所以当那一刻到来之时，我们知道应该怎样做，但我依然会把妈妈留在身边。直到那一刻到来之前，我不会把她送走的。
格林：你们的故事很了不起的一点在于，听众们会写信过来分享他们的故事。他们都很感激，说能够从你们的经历中学着自己做理财决策。我猜，经历过这种情况之后，你们能否为那些处境相同的人提供一些建议。拉多娜，你说呢？
马丁：尽早存钱。（大笑）把你的钱存好。准备一个大学基金……你知道，再多存点。
格林：吉尼瓦，你想到的建议是什么？
亨特：我打算讲两点，我知道我本来只应该讲一点。
格林：没关系，你可以说。
亨特：不过我也认为存钱很关键。第二件事情就是沟通交流。如果你知道家族里有遗传病，也许你没得病，但家里的其他人可能会患上。你必须接受培训，才能妥善照顾病人。
关爱老人应该从家人开始。如果你和长辈同住，应该珍惜和他们在一起的时光，好好照顾他们。如果他们住在别的地方，你是否经常关心他们呢？如果你实在抽不出时间看望家中老人，至少也应该经常打个电话问候一下他们吧。
万一家中老人病了，照顾他们更成为很多家庭面对的一大难题。以下请来两位住在美国的女士和我们分享一下照顾患病老人的体会。
受访人介绍
吉尼瓦·亨特( 66岁)：在华盛顿特区的一家律师事务所工作。两年半之前，89岁的母亲被诊断患上阿尔茨海默病。于是她把母亲从马里兰州接回家中照顾。吉尼瓦试过请人回家照顾母亲，但效果不理想。吉尼瓦的女儿尤兰达因此辞去了工作，专门照顾外祖母。现在，尤兰达计划重新找工作。
拉多娜·马丁( 44岁)：和凯利（拉多娜丈夫的姐姐）一起负责照顾凯利的奶奶。两年前，由于87岁的奶奶已经无法照顾自己，她们决定把她接回来。因为两人住得很近，所以奶奶在两家轮流住。拉多娜有两个小孩。她说奶奶来了以后，孩子们变听话了，也不再以自我为中心了。但她也承认照顾行动不便的奶奶确实很有压力。
David Greene (Host): I wondered if we could start with just an update from each of you on the people you care for. Geneva, how is your mom, Ida Christian, doing?
Geneva Hunter: Mom’s doing great. She is having issues[问题] with swallowing, which is a part of the latter stages of Alzheimer’s注1. But overall she’s doing extremely well.
Greene: LaDonna, tell me about Grandma. Tell me about Snutzie注2.
LaDonna Martin: Grandma’s actually doing well. Luckily, she, you know, has her mind, so we don’t have that problem. Hers is more physical—getting around. But she’s doing well.
Greene: Geneva, your daughter, Yolanda, 43, she gave up her career—her life, in many ways, for two years to be the daytime caregiver[护理者] for your mom. At what point does your role as a child in taking care of a parent compete with your role as a parent, and taking care of the younger generation?
Hunter: My daughter is a fantastic individual. I encourage her to continue to seek employment and we’re always thinking and planning what will happen once she finds a job. We’ve had to make decisions together. We sat up all night in hospitals together. We’ve decided on what’s the next step to take. And I don’t know what I would have done without her. She has been my caregiver (laughs)…in so many ways.
Greene: And LaDonna, let me ask you that question—the real balancing act. You have a 12-year-old and a 14-year-old. You are taking care of your husband’s grandmother. I mean, do you ever feel like you’re giving a little bit too much time to an older generation and kind of not there for your kids as much as you’d like to be?
Martin: I mean, not that I feel like I’m giving her too much,’cause I, you know, I would do anything for her. I do sometimes feel guilty that I’m not there enough for my own kids. But it’s your family and that’s what you do—or that’s how I was raised. You know, that that’s what you do.
Greene: I wonder if you think about when the breaking point[转换点] might come. And LaDonna, you told me a few weeks ago that, you know, if Grandma—if Snutzie falls or breaks a hip[髋关节] at some point, that might be the moment when you say, “You know, we just can’t take care of you. We live in a two-story house. We can’t take that much time away from our kids.” And how have you prepared for a conversation like that?
Martin: We say that to her. Do I truly think I could do it? I guess essentially[本质上] I don’t know what we would do. We would try our best. We would probably, you know, get a hospital bed and try 24-hour care. Truly, no one does the care that you would do for your own family. They just don’t. So it’s tough.
Greene: Sounds like it’s the kind of conversation you could think about in theory, but it’s a lot more difficult to actually carry out…
Martin: …in reality. It is.
Greene: And Geneva, watching someone with Alzheimer’s is something unimaginable. I mean, it’s…I wonder, if the disease progresses[发展], if a point will come, if she loses more of her faculties[能力], if you start thinking about “is it worth it for me to have sleepless nights,” “is it worth it to make sure she has 24-hour care in the home,” or is there a breaking point where we say, you know, it’s time for her to live outside the home?
Hunter: It’s worth it to me to have her with me, even when she doesn’t know who I am. I think eventually I will have to get a hospital bed. But I’m always thinking about what to do to make it more comfortable for her. I think if she passed away today, I could look at myself and say that I did the best that I could. She did her best for me. I want to do my best for her.
Greene: Look forward for me if you all can. Geneva, let me ask you, where do you see things in a year or so?
Hunter: Well, I think I’m gonna be faced with some very tough decisions. I’ve already checked into hospice[收容所] and things of that nature, so we have an idea what to do when the time comes, but I will still have my mom with me. I’m not going to allow her to be taken anywhere else until that time comes.
Greene: The amazing thing about telling your stories is that the listeners who have written in and shared their own stories and said they appreciate learning about their own financial decisions from what you’ve been through. And I guess, I wonder if there’s one piece of advice you could offer to someone in your situation after sort of living through this, what would it be? LaDonna?
Martin: Save early. (laughs) Save your money. Do a college fund and...you know, to have that extra. Greene: Geneva, one piece of advice on your mind?
Hunter: I’m going to say two things. I know I’m only supposed to say one.
Greene: It’s okay. You’re allowed.
Hunter: But I think saving is critical. The second thing would be communication. If you know that a disease runs in the family, you may not get it but someone else in the family may get it. And you have to be educated in order to take care of the person appropriately.
戴维·格林(主持人)：在节目开头，能否说一下你们照顾的人近况如何。吉尼瓦，你妈妈艾达·克里斯琴现在怎样？
吉尼瓦·亨特：妈妈现在不错。她在吞咽方面有些问题，这是阿尔茨海默病后期的病征之一。但总体来说，她非常好。
格林：拉多娜，说说奶奶的近况，说说斯鲁茨现在怎样。
拉多娜·马丁：其实奶奶近况不错。幸运的是，你知道，她头脑清醒，所以没有那个问题。她的问题更多是体能上的，比如说走路之类的。但她挺不错的。
格林：吉尼瓦，你的女儿尤兰达现年43岁，她在长达两年的时间里放弃了自己的事业——也放弃了其生活的许多方面，来为你的妈妈做日间看护人。作为子女，你要照顾父母；作为父母，你又要照顾下一代——要兼顾这两个角色，你要面对什么难题？
亨特：我女儿很了不起。我鼓励她继续找工作，我们总是在思考并计划着一旦她找到了工作，我们要怎样做。我们不得不一起做决定。我们一起在医院里彻夜未眠。我们决定了下一步该怎么做。如果没有了她，我不知道自己该怎么办。她一直是我的看护人（大笑）……在很多方面而言。格林：拉多娜，我想问你这个问题——平衡对你来说才是真的问题。你有一个12岁和一个14岁的孩子。你还在照顾你丈夫的祖母。我是说，你是否曾经觉得自己花在长辈身上的时间稍多了些，不能如你所愿地把时间更多地花在自己孩子身上呢？
马丁：我不觉得为她付出过多，因为，你知道，我愿意为她做任何事情。但我有时确实觉得内疚，因为不够时间陪伴自己的孩子。但这是你的家人，这是你该做的——或者说，我就是接受这样的教育长大的。你知道，这就是你该做的。
格林：我想知道的是，你们是否想过这个转折点会在什么时候到来？拉多娜，你在几个星期前曾对我说，你知道，如果奶奶——如果斯鲁茨摔倒了或在什么时候摔伤了髋关节，或许就是那个时刻你会说：“你知道，我们没有办法再照顾你了。我们住在一栋两层楼的房子里。我们不能总是丢下自己的孩子不管。”你如何为这样的谈话做准备呢？
马丁：我们会直接对她说的。我真的认为自己会那样做吗？我根本不知道我们会怎么做。我们会尽最大努力。你知道，我们也许会弄一张病床，找人24小时护理。说真的，没有人会像照顾家人一样去照顾别人。他们就是做不到。所以说，这很难。
格林：听起来像是一种在理论上你可能会思考的对话，但很难真的执行……
马丁：……真的实行。确实如此。
格林：吉尼瓦，看护阿尔茨海默病患者是一件难以想象的事情。我是说……我想知道，如果病情进一步恶化，如果转折点来了，如果她更加不能自理，你会否开始想“这些不眠夜值得吗”，“确保她在家得到24小时护理值得吗”等问题——或者如我们所说的转折点出现了，你知道，是时候让她搬出去住了吗？
亨特：对我来说，有她在就够了，即便她不知道我是谁。到最后，我可能还是要安排她入院。但我总是在思考怎样才能令她更舒心。我想如果今天她去世了，我可以告诉自己，我已经尽了最大的努力。她尽心尽力地为我付出，我也想为她竭尽所能。
格林：如果可以的话，和我说说未来的展望吧。吉尼瓦，我想问你，你觉得一年以后情况会怎样？
亨特：我将要做出非常艰难的决定。我已经查了一些临终关怀院方面的资料，所以当那一刻到来之时，我们知道应该怎样做，但我依然会把妈妈留在身边。直到那一刻到来之前，我不会把她送走的。
格林：你们的故事很了不起的一点在于，听众们会写信过来分享他们的故事。他们都很感激，说能够从你们的经历中学着自己做理财决策。我猜，经历过这种情况之后，你们能否为那些处境相同的人提供一些建议。拉多娜，你说呢？
马丁：尽早存钱。（大笑）把你的钱存好。准备一个大学基金……你知道，再多存点。
格林：吉尼瓦，你想到的建议是什么？
亨特：我打算讲两点，我知道我本来只应该讲一点。
格林：没关系，你可以说。
亨特：不过我也认为存钱很关键。第二件事情就是沟通交流。如果你知道家族里有遗传病，也许你没得病，但家里的其他人可能会患上。你必须接受培训，才能妥善照顾病人。