MyMother

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  【栏目要求】
  1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
  3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
  5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
  投稿邮箱: zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com
  来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收
  本 期 点 评 名 师
  于莹 1992年毕业于山东师范大学,中学高级教师,梁山县优秀教师,市级优质课一等奖,一直担任初中英语的教学工作,连续多年在中考中取得优异成绩。2012年12月在山东省英语竞赛中荣获优秀指导教师称号。先后在《中学生英语》、《山东教育导报》、《现代中学生》、《初中生英语学习》、《英语辅导报》、《英语周报》、《学生导报》、《新课堂》等国家级、省级报刊上发表教学论文三十多篇。
  My Mother
  My mother is a doctor. She is a 41-years-old① woman. She a good mother. I love her very much.
  One morning, my mother was back from the hospital. She came to my bedroom and said, “Look for② your bedroom, dear. It is too dirty. You must clean it right now.” “Oh, Mum, but I cleaned it yesterday.” I said. “It’s dirty now. You must clean it again,” said my mother. “No. I don’t want to clean it today. If I clean it today, it will be dirty again tomorrow,” I said. Mother thought for a moment and said, “All right, don’t clean it.”
  In the evening, I was back from school. I was very hungry, so I said to my mother, “Give me something for③ eat, Mum.” “You had your breakfast in the morning. And you had lunch at school,” said my mother. “But I’m hungry now,” said I. “Hungry? But if I give you something to eat today, you will be hungry again tomorrow.” Then I understood what my mother meant. So I cleaned my bedroom by myself. Mum was happy and said, “That’s very good.”
  How④ a good mother she is!
  山东省梁山县杨营中学初一 李华
  1. 优点:
  本文构思巧妙,小作者的妈妈将计就计,用事实来晓之以理,说服小作者要从小养成打扫卫生的好习惯。文章句式富于变化,表意清楚,有条有理,是一篇值得推荐的学生习作。
  2. 需要修改的地方:
  ① 41-years-old改为41-year-old。“年龄-year-old”表示“几岁的”;
  ② for改为at。look for意思是“寻找”,look at意思为“看一下”;
  ③ for改为to。此处不定式做定语;
  ④ How改为What。how引导的感叹句:how 形容词 主语 谓语或how 副词 主语 谓语;what引导的感叹句:what (a/ an) 形容词 主语 谓语。
  3. 评分:
  按中考英语作文满分15分的评分标准,本文修改前可得12分。
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